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Tag Archives: your mother must be very proud
Recalling A Simpler Time When Perverts Made House Calls
By Smaktakula The modern world changes with such baffling rapidity that innovations in technology, fashion and language are transforming yesterday into an unrecognizable anachronism. The information age has rendered obsolete the newspaper, the personal letter and the DMV. Thanks to … Continue reading
Posted in Crime, Culture, News, Stupidity
Tagged Pennsylvania, your mother must be very proud, anachronisms, pervertry, perverts, public nudity, intoxication, Brody Hall, exhibitionism, flashers, Corry, junk, genitals, man-meat, full Monty, dingus
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Depardieu’s ‘Euro-Nation’ Stunt Deemed Derivative And Unoriginal
By Smaktakula Bloated French nonentity Gèrard Depardieu attempted to make a splash Tuesday morning in what appears to be a copycat urination attack. The sweaty Euro-pérvert, inexplicably famous for something somewhere, apparently mistook an airplane aisle for a Paris sidewalk, … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Culture, News, Stupidity
Tagged actors, Americans, childish sexual innuendo, choking the chicken, cock, creepy old perverts, douchebaggery, Emil Haagerdäddi, Frenchman, Gèrard Depardieu, golden showers, has-beens, Paris, Paris is a sewer, places that suck, public urination, Robert "Sandy" Vietze, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, the French, United States of America, urination, World's Rudest People, your mother must be very proud
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Furries
By Smaktakula It must come as a sobering realization that your life’s purpose is to outfit yourself like a junior college backup mascot.
The Magical World Of Make-Believe
By Smaktakula Among the time-honored rites of childhood is playing make-believe. As murderous outlaw cowboys, fairy princesses, dauntless firefighters or myriad other fantastical and heroic roles, children push the boundaries of the possible before the realities of adulthood grind their … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Stupidity
Tagged Avatar, comic books, cosplay, costumes, Dr. Who, drugs, fandom, Hellboy, Lara Croft, living in mom's basement, Lodi, make believe, Pokemon, pregoo porn, rites of childhood, Ron Jeremy, sexless adults, Star Trek, stupid shit little girls like, too fat to wear that, your mother must be very proud
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Raves Are Best Enjoyed Without Drugs Or Love
By Smaktakula It’s hard to believe that the world has changed so much in just a year. For at least a generation, raves represented one of the last bastions of good, clean, American fun. But now things are changing: the unwelcome shadow of … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Culture, Music, News
Tagged arrests, club kids, death by love, death by overdose, death by stampede, Diabetes, drugs, ecstacy, Germans in large groups are best avoided, good clean American fun, I'm not the Lorax Dammit!, Los Angeles, Love Festival, Love Parade, rave culture, raves, stampede, techno music, the Lorax, trampling deaths, Wilford Brimley, your mother must be very proud
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Not What You Were Looking For? Episode Three: The Search For Cock
By Smaktakula Presenting the third installment in our wildly popular series: Not What You Were Looking For? In which we list some of the search engine terms (indicated in bold) by which you found us, and for which you should rightly be ashamed. You … Continue reading
Posted in Baseball, Crime, Critters, Culture, Drug Culture, General Foolishness, Music, People, Race, Sports, World Affairs
Tagged 19th Century French Literature, bovine-on-human violence, Cat in the Hat, CDSA, childish sexual innuendo, China, cock, CockBlog, comical despots, comical spelling errors, Confessions of an America-Hating Man-Jezebel, craptastic eatery, curs, Donkey Kong, douchebaggery, dreadlocks, drugs, Duke, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, fat people, female anatomy, Freddie Mercury, Fugeeman, George Sherrill, happy thoughts, hot and cold running chicks, Irene Folstrom, Islam, Jay Bush, Jean Valjean, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, K2, Les Miserables, madness, marijuana, Mauritanian Meat-Sword, Michael Lohan, Michael Lohan is a turd with eyes, Miley Cyrus, not what you were looking for?, old people, Olive Garden, Pakistan, pastaphilia, Pauly Shore, penis, penis-based racism, people of size, phallophilia, poor spelling, racism, rastaphilia, rave culture, Reverend Fred Phelps, Ruminations of a Junkie for Politics, senior citizens, sexy nurses, skankery, skankism, Smaktakula is aware that 'penises' is the accepted plural but if it's good enough for Steinbeck it's good enough for you, Smaktakula's troubling insecurity, Soylent Green, sweet sweet cheeba, the knacker, treachery, Turkish Tool, unctuous pimp, vagina, Victor Hugo, violence, virile He-Man, waddling grotesquery, Walt Stoelting, weed, Why am I so fat?, Wyclef Jean, your mother must be very proud
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Not What You Were Looking For?
By Smaktakula We would like to believe that of the nearly 800,000 hits* Promethean Times receives daily, each is a reader who set out specifically to find us. Of course, this is sometimes not the case. Here are some of the keywords (noted by boldface) used … Continue reading
Posted in Cinema, Crime, Critters, Culture, Drug Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, Humor, Movies, People, Race, Relationships, Television, Terrorism, World Affairs
Tagged asshat, backwater shithole, Baseball, brilliant dirty weirdos, Bush 41, Charlie Estevez, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Charlie Sheen Will Never Escape The Brat Pack's Terrible Event Horizon, choking game, comical despots, Confucius, cooze, crazy bastard, Dear Leader, Dr. Grigori Perelman, dwarf, Gary Coleman, George Bush Sr., George Herbert Walker Bush, hemp, herpes, hippies, huffing, India, Jackpot, K2, Kim Jong-il, lactating, lesbians, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, marijuana, midget, Milton Bradley, Milton Bradley is batshit crazy, Morris the Cat, Nevada, not what you were looking for?, pot, reefer, Shannon Price, small black actor, sniper, Somali pirates, sweet sweet cheeba, Thinksquad, Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart is evil, weed, Wikipedia, your mother must be very proud, Zen koan
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Genitals Of Jersey Shore Cast Declared ‘Herpes Nest’
Who knew there could be consequences from living a life without consequences? Who knew the thought of the Jersey Shore cast gobbling Valtrex like they were Flintstones Chewable Vitamins would be so disturbing? What’s The Difference Between J-Woww And A Midget … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, General Foolishness, Health, National Events, People, Places, Reality Television, Scandal, Social Networking, Television
Tagged fake n' bake, famous for nothing, Flintstones Chewable Vitamins, Goombah, Guidettes, Guidos, herpes, Herpes Nest, Italian Stereotypes, J-Woww, Jersey Shore, promiscuity, reality television, skankery, skanks, Snooki, STDs, The Clap, The Shore, The Situation, unfortunately-named celebrities, unlike your 15 minutes of fame herpes lasts forever, Valtrex, well-known whores, your mother must be very proud
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