Tags
American Idol, Anne Heche, Anne Heche is batshit crazy, bloated tapeworm, Celebrity Death Watch, crazy bitch, Ellen DeGeneres, Ellen's the man!, gay-for-profit, gold digger, heartbreaker, nutty broad, parasite, Portia de Rossi, Portia DeGeneres, social climber, temporarily gay, trading up, treachery, untalented stars
By Smaktakula
The black and kitten skull-encrusted heart of crazy bitch Anne Heche is still beating. The untalented shrew is best remembered for her lackluster portrayal of a lesbian in 1997-2000’s The Regrettable Saga of The Likeable but Pathetically Deluded Ellen DeGeneres and the Bloated Tapeworm Living In Her Belly.
Nutty Broad Anne Celeste Heche, 1969-?:"My Flaccid Career Could Sure Use A Boost. I Wonder Why Ellen Won't Return My Calls?"
Unlike the nasty parasite whose career she supported for almost three years, Ellen hasn’t fared too poorly. She may have lost her spot on the cultural and intellectual nadir American Idol, but she not only convinced the former Portia de Rossi to marry her, but also to take her name. Ellen’s the man.
Oh, Right.
Promethean Times 
I would totally be gay for Portia.
Would?
Wood.
Now you’re speaking our language!
My, I must need glases – i thought the photo of Portia was of Paris Hilton – and it’s not like I don’t know her. After all, I consider Arrested Development among the funniest TV I’ve ever seen.
I’ll admit taking an immediate dislike to Anne much in the same way I did to Bonnie Franklin.