By Smaktakula

Basket case Bethany Storro came to the public’s attention last week when she claimed to be the victim of a shocking assault.  The 28-year old Vancouver, Wa. resident said that a mysterious assailant threw acid in her face.   

Authorities initially believed Storro, since she did not claim her assailant was the “mysterious black man” of so many fake assaults.  She threw a curveball to police when she suggested that her attacker was a mysterious black woman!   

Despite Her Injuries, Storro Attempts To Lead A Normal Life.

Storro’s clever, race-baiting mendacity notwithstanding, the police eventually grew suspicious.  After repeated questioning, the woman admitted that she had doused acid on her own face, necessitating surgery.   

A police representative said that all things considered, Storro was actually very fortunate.  “For Bethany to have survived for twenty-eight years now is really something special, especially given what a complete and utter moron she is. ”  

Splashing Yourself In The Face With Acid As A Ploy For Attention May Seem Like A Good Idea, But In Many Instances It Is Not.