• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Tag Archives: treachery

Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley

17 Monday Aug 2015

Posted by Smaktakula in History, Philosophy, True-Ass Tales

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

AA, Daniel, gold digger, parasites, Pervert Alley, Shelly, Tardsie's True-Ass Tales, treachery, Yoko

By Tardsie

In my previous post, Welcome to Pervert Alley, I briefly mentioned my friend Daniel, a guy who when I met him was in the process of rebuilding his life. He met a woman named Shelly and that all went to hell. This is how it happened.

Sampson

Except For Being Granted Super-Strength By The Deity, All Other Details Of The Story Are Exactly The Same.

Daniel didn’t look like he belonged in Pervert Alley. Tall and straight-backed, with sunbleached blond hair and faded blue eyes, Daniel had a sunny, unselfconscious smile and skin that was thick and creased like well-worn leather, looking somehow like something he had earned under God’s own sun.

But nobody ends up at Pervert Alley by accident, and like every sorry member of the vast, shuffling rogues’ gallery snaking back in time to before I was born who called Pervert Alley home, something malignant had once upon a time crept into Daniel’s life and thrown it off the rails. But when I met Daniel he’d gotten himself healthy, and begun the first tender, tentative steps to pick up the pieces of a life which had never really begun.

Daniel met Shelly at an AA meeting. He’d was there by choice; she’d attended at the behest of the courts. Shelly was around forty and had a decent figure, but her hair was her best feature, cheery blond half-curls cut shoulder-length. Her face, though, was the fly in the ointment. She might have been pretty once, but time and bad living had made her features plain, and it was the dark vulpine thing crouching just behind her eyes that made her repellent.

Medusa-Pic

Shelly Doesn’t Have What You’d Call “Inner Beauty.”

Daniel loved Shelly with the kind of beautiful, monolithic, Junior-year-of-high-school adoration that is the stuff of Hallmark Greeting Cards, effusive and inexhaustible. It was a sentiment Shelly was, I believe, incapable of reciprocating. She was of that low and vulgar tribe of skulkers and creepers, backroad vampires and poorhouse parasites, who survive through the generosity or kindness or vulnerability of the very hosts whose lives they plunder, taking what they find valuable and leaving behind a spent and ruptured husk.

tapeworm_head

Shelly’s Yearbook Photo Her Senior Year At The Ruby Rose School For Wayward Girls.

Daniel stuck with Shelly even when she went back to jail for an outstanding warrant, and was there to meet her when she came out, and believed her unquestioningly when she declared herself a changed woman. And later, after she had stormed out of Pervert Alley and Daniel’s life for the first time, and had before long changed her mind, he took her back, joyously and without rancor, and did it again when the same thing happened just a few days later. He took her back every time she left him, which was often, and it got so that the state of Daniel’s door indicated the status of their relationship. The door stood open when they were together, the two of them often sitting on the hovel’s small porch, or wandering the lot, Daniel mostly blissfully, beatifically silent, while Shelly talked at anyone who would listen. When Shelly was gone the door was closed, and the deep, impenetrable blackness would bleed through the small curtained windows.

Shelly started bringing strange men to Daniel’s home—lean young men with the same hungry eyes as Shelly; Daniel didn’t seem to care as long as Shelly came around. Those men would take Shelly places in the car that my grandmother signed over to Daniel in exchange for some work he’d done around her place, but which he could no longer drive because of an infection in his foot. When Daniel went to the hospital, Shelly and her new friends kept Daniel’s apartment warm for him.

Loose Women

Seriously, She Sucked.

Shelly was somewhere else when Daniel came home from the hospital with a nasty MRSA infection, and #6 was dark for a while. She came back to him at least one more time, though, because the last time I saw Daniel, Shelly was with him.

This was at least a year ago now, at an hour by which most decent folks have already gone to bed. I take walks sometimes late at night and they surprised me, two vague shapes conjured from the darkness and seeming to materialize from the shadows of the coffee shop. Daniel was hooded and his eyes were in shadow, his flesh drawn and waxy. He had grown a beard, which I’d never seen before. It made him look hard and a little bit hungry. He offered me a tepid, hesitant smile which never reached the eyes that failed to meet my own and mumbled something friendly by way of greeting.

Shelly seized my hand in both of hers before I knew it. Her hands were firm and smooth and unpleasantly moist and she did not let go. Her weasel’s eyes were in constant motion, suffuse with dark merriment. Her breath was hot and whiskey-fouled. She slurred her way through a string of platitudes about my family and complimented me on my children. I don’t remember exactly what she said; I was only half-listening—although I recall she got my wife’s name wrong— and feeling very much like a coyote with his leg caught in a trap, contemplating whether it might not be worth it just to gnaw the damn thing off. When I finally did get away, I held my right hand away from my body the way you do when you’ve touched something filthy, until I could scrub it pink with soap and hot water.

Bible

So There’s Precedent…

I guess Shelly left Daniel for good after that, and I heard that he lost a few toes from one of his feet. He’s been gone for a couple months now, down in a hospital in LA and I don’t know if he’s coming back. I saw Shelly once after that just a few weeks later. She was curbside with some shifty nameless no-account in front of the supermarket holding a cardboard sign which read HUNGRY ANYTHING HELPS GOD BLESS.

You probably get that I blame Shelly for what’s become of Daniel, and it’s true, I do. Like some sort of psychic tapeworm, she plundered Daniel, gorging herself on everything that was worthwhile and vital, the very qualities which had set him somehow apart from his Pervert Alley confederates, the things which made him dream of a life so much of the country takes for granted. and when she had taken all this and grown fat off his tears, she cast his carcass aside, her eyes already on the make for a new host. I blame Shelly not only because she understood what she was doing and knew also the unspeakable sum Daniel had wagered on her and what, therefore, her treachery would cost him, but because I truly believe she took pleasure in the ruin of a decent man.

I’m wrong to blame Shelly, though–as much as I want to. It’s like this: when someone we care about falls, we cast about desperately for a culprit, and more often than not, we find it. Drugs and alcohol. Infidelity and divorce. Lay-offs and health woes. Life–these are some of the things we say can destroy an existence. Our thoughtless tongues grant these episodes a totemic power that, mighty as they are, they do not deserve. The truth is sometimes more painful. The truth is that striving to make a life for yourself and trying every day to make it better, and maybe sharing that life with another, raising children, taking vacations, meeting obligations, being loved—all the things we have for so long taken for granted—these things take effort. Every day is a tightrope walk across a yawning chasm at the bottom of which lies abject failure, and our fear keeps us upright and allows us to forget the dark truth that it would be so much easier to simply submit to gravity’s implacable embrace and fall, fall, fall to that grey and lifeless land where nothing is expected and nothing given. Sometimes the thing you want asks more from you than you believe is within you to give. I think that’s how it was with Daniel, really. Shelly was a loaded pistol, sleek and seductive and lethal, but the finger caressing the trigger was always Daniel’s.

Mirror

Meet The Real Enemy.

Hunchbackers

08 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Politics, Stupidity

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

Barack Obama, conspiracy theories, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hunchbackers, Notre Dame, Quasimodo, treachery

By Smaktakula

Why does the public insist on believing the web of lies surrounding the death of Quasimodo the Bell-Ringer?

Open your eyes, America!

They Know The Awful Truth About What Happened That Day In The Cathedral, And Won’t Rest Until You Do.

Heroic Teachers Gone Wild vs. Prudery

15 Tuesday May 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Culture, News

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Alini Brito, Allison Musacchio, anti-skank bigotry, Benedict Arnold, Brooklyn, childish sexual innuendo, Cindy Mauro, crusty old school board, evil high school janitors, French teachers, girl-on-girl action, Girls Gone Wild, Hi Mrs. Peterson!, Horndog High, Hot for Teacher, inappropriate activity, international language, James Madison High School, janitors, Judas Iscariot, lesbians, lipstick lesbians, New York, one more reason to hate the high school janitor, Penthouse Forum, prudery, skankery, skankism, skanks, Skanks in the Crosshairs, snitches, Spanish teachers, Steve Bartman, tattle-tales, teachers, teachers gone wild, the janitor knows all your secrets, treachery, utopian futures, Van Halen, Vidkun Quisling

By Smaktakula

Van Halen’s Utopian Vision Has At Last Come To Pass.

As if further evidence were needed of the alarming rise in anti-skank sentiment across the globe, more proof comes in the form of a 2009 tragedy in suburban Brooklyn.  Two young women, exemplary educators by all accounts, were publicly humiliated and then cast to the wind by a prudish school board which punished the provocative pair not for any lack of competence, but simply because they were floozies.

November 20th, 2009, began and ended for most people like any other late autumn day in New York.  But for James Madison High School Spanish teacher Alini Brito and French teacher Cindy Mauro, it would signal the beginning of an anti-skank witchhunt that, when the dust cleared, would rob JMHS of not just two, but at least four talented educators.

One’s A French Teacher, For Goodness’ Sake! Of COURSE They’re Gonna Make Out In A Darkened Classroom.

The trouble began for Brito and Mauro when one of the school’s janitors took an inexplicable dislike to the winsome pair.  The janitor’s identity has been withheld for fear that otherwise his name would rightly be counted among history’s perfidious greats, enshrined alongside such icons of infidelity as Vidkun Quisling, Benedict Arnold and Judas Iscariot.

The custodial timebomb’s opportunity for revenge came when he spotted Brito and Maruro in an unguarded moment.  With their students occupied elsewhere in the school and having nothing else to do, naturally, the two language teachers began to shed their clothes and furiously grope one another.  Nothing terribly out of the ordinary–it had been just another school afternoon until the janitor spied the hot polyglots.

It’s doubtful that a definitive explanation of the custodian’s motives will ever be found, although that has not stopped various sources from making the attempt, propounding a panoply of theories–a brain embolism, schizophrenia, the notion that the janitor was just plain evil.  As plausible–even likely–as these theories may be, they will never be able to change the facts of this tragedy nor undo the injustice which, set in motion that day, continues inexorably to the present.

Unlike Baseball Goat Steve Bartman, When The Janitor’s Chance Came, He Dropped The Ball.

We do know that, rather than cry thanks to the Almighty for this one-time Gold Ticket opportunity to man up and acquire carnal knowledge directly from the mouths of these two educators in a sexual schooling straight from the oddly resinous pages of Penthouse Forum–or at the very least continue to lurk in the shadows while quietly pleasuring himself–the custodian was faced with a make-or-break choice and came up short.  The little snitch went and told the school safety officer.

This innocent act of hot hot affection would shatter the lives of the two skanky educators; the school board quickly reassigned the star-crossed pair to separate schools.  But since then, the school board’s aggressive anti-skank pogrom has claimed at least two more victims: Allison Musacchio and Lisa Gutilla.

Musacchio’s ostensible crime was having sex with an underage boy.  The disgraced teacher’s lawyer counters, however, that by time the “victim” left Musacchio’s bed, he was by all accounts a man.

Our Teachers Were Not Nearly So Dedicated. Trust Us.

Gutilla’s case is even more egregious.  The 37-year old physical education instructor’s world was turned upside down when the school board determined that the sexual contact she had been having with a fourteen-year-old girl was “inappropriate.”  There was a time–and not so long ago–when an oddly mannish girls’ volleyball coach whose athletes squirmed under her lingering touch wasn’t an aberration–it was tradition.

The school board’s decision to rob JMHS of these caring, innovative instructors by casting them aside was callous and counterproductive.  In time, with luck and with love, the four will find their respective ways in the world, able to hold their heads high.  But long after their story is forgotten, the poignant lessons of  Brito and Mauro’s daring, doomed love will remain, hanging in the air like chalkdust in a still classroom after the last bell has rung.  Separately these professorial party girls may have taught Spanish and French, but for its brief and shining existence, their hot, groping union showed us all a little something about the international language.

God Speed, You Brave, Brave Women. Believe Us When We Say We Will Think Of You Often And Be Touched.

We would think that two highly educated language teachers could do a better job of hiding their shenanigans.  Is it wrong to expect more from cunning linguists? ∞T.

The Mexican-American Conflict: A Pretty Good War

02 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in History

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Arizona, California, Canada, Colorado, further instances of Canadian perfidy, Great Britain, James Knox Polk, Let us help!, manifest destiny, Mexico, muchas gracias, Nevada, one-termer by choice, one-termers, outright lies, Saddam Hussein, Saddam totally did it, Santa Anna, Somalia, Texas, there's a NEW Mexico?, treachery, United Kingdom, United States of America, Utah

By Smaktakula

Maybe You're Just Not Looking Hard Enough.

You’ve probably heard more than once that there’s no such thing as a ‘good’ war. The sentiment driving this notion is noble, and easy enough to understand: it’s hard to take any joy from a victory when even one life has been needlessly cut short. Moreover, there is also the sad legacy of war’s victims who survive the conflict only to return to shattered, empty lives.

The "Good War": Grandpa Liked WWII So Much, He's Still There.

World War II is sometimes considered a ‘good war’ in that it very literally halted the extinction of an entire people. This view necessarily tends to discount the ugly reality that the war cost the lives of just as many people and a great deal more, but was more egalitarian in that it distributed the horrors among a variety of nations. Others consider the US’s ill-fated War of 1812 among this select group of noble atrocities, because the dream of liberating Canada from her tyrannical British masters was a righteous and Heaven-sanctioned one, despite the ingratitude and surprising unhelpfulness of the Canadian people.¹

It's Just Like What Happened To Us When We Tried To Help Out In Somalia--You Try To Bring Light To A Wretched And Abject People, Only To Get Kicked In The Teeth For Your Troubles.

But the little known Mexican-American War is something everyone can get behind. Having recently acquired the Independent Republic of Texas, the United States under President James Knox Polk was looking for a little more real estate. Polk had long prized such material assets as the Napa Wine Country, Camp Pendleton Marine Base and California Adventures, so America’s 11th President–and by any estimate its most effective One-Termer–set his sights on wresting the Golden State from Mexico.²

YOINK!!!!

Polk was initially stymied in his efforts by that age-old bugbear of democratic republics, the notion that you can’t just go starting a war for no reason. But when it was determined that Mexico’s General Antonio López de Santa Anna (an early forerunner of future bad-guy, Adolf Hitler) was stockpiling Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) in the Sonora Desert, America was left with little choice but to act.

There Came A Point At Which The US Could No Longer Tolerate General Santa Anna's Shenanigans.

Although no WMD were ever found, the story did end happily, with the Mexicans chased all the way to Tijuana by the victorious gringos, and the Stars & Stripes lofted over the golden, rolling hills of California. However, it has so often been said that ‘a lawn does not cut itself,’ and like the storied swallows of Capistrano, in a final righting of history, the descendants of those long-ago Californios have since returned to California, bringing with them a great many friends whose ancestors had previously never been north of Michoacan.

¡Gracias, Amigo! Eso Fue Muy Amable Por Tu!

¹ It can sometimes be so difficult to resist playing historical “What If?”. Can you imagine what a powerhouse US Hockey would be today if the Canadians had only been a little cooler in 1812? ∞ T.
² Although California was far and away the most worthwhile of the Mexican lands prized by the Americans, Manifest Destiny also demanded an expanse of lesser real estate comprising the modern states of Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Utah as well as parts of Texas and Colorado. ∞ T.

Dog Unmoved By Master’s Return From Afghanistan

12 Thursday Jan 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, News

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Afghanistan, bad dog, Ft. Wayne, Helmand Province, Indiana, Marine Corps, T-Bone, treachery

By Smaktakula

Ft. Wayne, Indiana–Cpl. Ricky Baker had been looking forward to his return from Afghanistan for months.  After a year-long deployment in Afghanistan’s Helmand Province, Baker wanted nothing more than to enjoy the pleasures of home.  Baker was met by a group of over twenty smiling friends and family members when his plane touched down at Smith Field Airport.  However, notably absent among those waiting was T-Bone, Baker’s mixed breed dog.

The expected reunion between man and dog occurred at Baker’s parents’ house, where the dog had been living during the marine’s deployment.  T-Bone is reported to have looked at Baker and then thumped his tail against the floor twice before going back to sleep.

"Oh, It's You. Hey."

No Gingers Need Apply

13 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, News, Science

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

baby-batter, better dead than red, bigotry, Cyros International, drunken Irishmen, gingers, ginjism, jizzmastre, Johnny Whitaker, Judas Iscariot, redheads, sorry Thorsie!, sperm bank, sperm donor, treachery

By Smaktakula

It's Practically The US Motto.

Historically, gingers have had it rough.  Thought in ancient times to be possessed of sinister powers or bestial sexual urges, today’s redhead is merely regarded as a disturbing genetic anomaly.  And yet, until recently, these soulless individuals enjoyed the same rights as the rest of unafflicted humanity.

Famed Traitor Judas Iscariot (Seen Here Kissing A Dude) Was A Ginger.

Now, all that has changed, with one organization single-handedly turning back the clock on ginger rights.  Cryos International, the world’s biggest sperm bank,  has announced that it will no longer accept donations from redheads, as its larders are positively brimming with ginjism.  The announcement was made through a representative of Cyros, who asked to remain anonymous for fear that his family might be hexed by angry gingers seeking reprisal.

There Are Some Fundamental Differences.

According to Cyros, the decision is the result of a steeply-diminished demand for red-headed baby-batter.  “In civilized, first-world countries, nobody wants a ginger around,” the Cyros rep says.  He adds, “You’ve got just one country with a high demand for redheads, and that’s Ireland.  And I don’t have to tell you that they’re all bombed out of their skulls.”

Sometimes The Greatest Kindness Is To Kill Them In Infancy.

Drunken Irishmen aside, it appears that increasingly there are fewer places in this world that gingers can call home.  Although Promethean Times understands the emotions behind Cyros’ decision–we don’t want gingers in our neighborhoods either–for society’s sake, we cannot endorse the decision to bar these Day-Glo monstrosities from donating sperm.  If not provided a safe, reliable outlet for their bestial urges, we face a future where gingers will be pleasuring themselves on Main Street.

You Don't Have To Tell Us, Man!

Get To Know Frank McCourt

31 Tuesday May 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, News, Sport

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Angela's Ashes, Baseball, cock-knockers, comical despots, Dodger Blue, douchebaggery, Frank McCourt, Los Angeles Dodgers, outright lies, pure evil, short people, Smaktakula's distrust of short people, the other Frank McCourt, treachery

By Smaktakula

"I Totally Bleed Dodger Blue. It IS Blue, Right? Their Color, I Mean."

To the myriad awful things you already knew about loathsome Dodgers owner Frank McCourt–the greed, the douchiness, the being short– let us add one more:

Frank McCourt eats babies.

The Monster Boasts In Print: Frank's First Victim Was A Young Girl Named Angela O'Roarke.

Putting The Italian Army To Good Use

10 Tuesday May 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

bad jokes, Ethiopia, fun with stereotypes, Italian Army, Italian Stereotypes, Italy, Naples, orgies, places that suck, prostitution, Rome, Salvation Army, Silvio Berlusconi, treachery

By Smaktakula

In Every Possible Sense, These Days Are Long Gone.

Have you heard about the new Italian rifle?

It’s never been fired and only dropped once.

Jokes like this hoary old chestnut have lately fallen out of favor because they tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes.  However, some stereotypes exist for a reason, and although generalizations by nature, are often based on solid experience.

So it is with the Italian Army, whose military prowess is mocked worldwide as less intimidating even than the French, Canadian or Kuwaiti Armies.  The memory of Rome’s mastery of Western Europe, cemented by scarlet swathes of powerful and highly-disciplined legionnaires , is confined to the dim recesses of history. The Italians’ only significant victory in modern times was in 1936 over Ethiopia, and only after suffering a defeat to the African nation in 1896. Moreover, Italy shares the singular distinction of switching to the winning side in not one, but two World Wars.

An Italian ISAF soldier gestures during a memorial service for the six soldiers killed after a suicide car bomb hit a military convoy on the main airport road near the U.S. Embassy, as they prepare to send the bodies home at the military airport September 19, 2009 in Kabul, Afghanistan. Italy suffered its deadliest attack in Afghanistan on Thursday, with about 2,800 soldiers in the country, four Italian soldiers were also injured with sixteen Afghans killed and at least 52 civilians wounded in the attack.

Italian Soldiers React To The News Of A Possible Deployment Against The Girl Scouts.

But much-maligned Italian Prime Minister and orgy enthusiast Silvio Berlusconi believes he has at last found a way for the Italian Army to at least partially redeem its sullied reputation.  For the second time in recent years, Berlusconi is sending troops to Naples to tackle a recurrent problem: garbage.  170 troops and 73 vehicles are being deployed to clean up the plethora of filth in the festering Italian city.

Critics charge that the PM is cynically shoring up votes ahead of the upcoming elections, as well as deflecting from allegations that he habitually retained the services of  a seventeen-year-old Moroccan prostitute.  However, vocal members of Berlusconi’s party disagree, denying that the troop deployment was in any way politically motivated.  Said one, “Naples is a shithole, and the army needs something to do.”

Promethean Times agrees.  Let the rest of the world’s armies fight the rest of the world’s wars; the Italian Army is needed at home.   Plus, there’s the sad but undeniable fact that Italian forces couldn’t even take the Salvation Army, let alone a real one.

Cody Managed To Take Out Five Italian Soldiers Before His Parents Were Called To Take Him Home.

TripoliWatch 2011: The Dawn Of Odyssey Dawn

22 Tuesday Mar 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in History, News, Politics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Arabs, Barack Obama, bluster, Bush Doctrine, international community, Ivory Coast, Libya, Muammar al-Gaddafi, No Fly Zone, Operation Desert Kill, Operation El Dorado Canyon, Operation Odyssey Dawn, places that suck, Prairie Dawn, President Obama, President Reagan, Ronald Reagan, that trick never works, the UN's maddening inaction in the face of genocide, treachery, Tripoli, United Nations, United States of America, unpopular wars, Vietnam

By Smaktakula

"Sometimes The Free World Must Take A Stand For Liberty, And Bring The Fight To The Evil Ones. In The Past, This Policy Has Been Known As 'The Bush Doctrine.'"

Fans of endless foreign entanglements were buoyed by the news that Jheri-curled sourpuss Muammar al-Gaddafi continues to thwart an increasingly emboldened international community.  The Colonel’s luck–and the world’s legendary patience and willingness to issue a series  of ridiculously ineffective threats–appear to have run out.

It's Completely Unlike America's Arab Allies To Be Inconstant In Their Friendship With The West.

With the initial backing of several Arab states, a coalition of the United States and the usual suspects have begun to turn the lights out in Libya.  America has always prided itself that, no matter the dubious nature or unpopularity of a conflict at home or abroad, the Superpower never attacks without a cool code name.  Enter Operation Odyssey Dawn. “It just sounded neat,” said an unnamed source, “And had a little more pizzazz than ‘Operation Desert Kill.”

Sesame Street's Prairie Dawn. A Lot Like Odyssey Dawn Except Far Less Bloody, And Much More Likely To Be Remembered In A Year's Time.

Still, the United States can expect some difficulties between now and the time in the vague and unknowable future that the poorly defined mission ends.  Chief among these difficulties is the inconsistency of America’s Arab allies, who after initially supporting the pact, quickly pandered to anti-Americanism from their own people and began backpedaling on their support.  The complete evaporation of Arab support was not anticipated for at least several more days.

Oh, No--We're Not Making THAT Mistake Again. This One'll Be Good--You'll See.

Secondly, this is not the first time the United States has turned Libya into a parking lot in the hopes of punishing the rogue state.  In 1986, US President Ronald Reagan authorized Operation El Dorado Canyon, and on April 15, 1986, US airpower devastated Tripoli.  This action almost succeeded in vaporizing the dictator and his family, but warned by an Italian politician, Gaddafi escaped to menace the world with his nefarious schemes on a number of occasions.  Will the belligerent Bedouin slip the righteous noose of Western justice once again?

"Dah-Dah-Dah-Dah-Dah-Dah-Dah! Can't Touch This!"

Even with the world’s willingness to help, all is not well in Africa.  While the international community has been quick to pummel Libya, it has yet to meet its promise to solve the months-long electoral stalemate in Ivory Coast.  Despite expressing profound concern for the day-to-day plight of Ivorians, it’s not clear why the international community has not shown the same interest in the tiny, coffee and cocoa producing nation as it has in the larger, oil-rich Libya.

"Okay, So What If We Promise To Start Drilling Immediately? Will You Send The Marines? A Couple Girl Scouts? Anything?"

Promethean Times Reminds You To Beware The Ides Of March

15 Tuesday Mar 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in History

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Ides of March, Julius Caesar, March 15th, political intrigue, Promethean Times cares, Public Service Announcement, Rome, treachery

By Smaktakula

If the advice was good enough for Gaius Julius Caesar, it’s good enough for you.

It Was True Then; It's True Now.

← Older posts

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • People Actually Believe That? Ramtha And The Lizard-Beasts Of Mt. Rainier
  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • Step Dancing Is For Everybody?--Not So Fast, White Girls
  • Historical Figures With Unfortunate Nicknames: 'Black Dick' Howe
  • Our Bad Thoughts
  • Headlines: Great Big Boobs & A Phyllis Diller Smile

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

  • Teachable Moments prometheantimes.com/2015/10/15/tea… http://t.co/QFzhCOBHaO 7 years ago
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight prometheantimes.com/2015/10/01/the… http://t.co/lY6IVUWzYV 7 years ago
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ prometheantimes.com/2015/09/23/my-… http://t.co/izgO4yJppn 7 years ago
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/08/17/she… http://t.co/0svsAHygLs 7 years ago
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/07/31/wel… http://t.co/tvFvovXjTX 7 years ago
Follow @prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

January 2023
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Oct    

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim on People Actually Believe That?…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
tomsimard on Sadly, Anne Heche Still L…
Smaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Anonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…

Tardsie D. Bagg

Smaktakula

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 459 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...