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Tag Archives: bigotry

Let’s Try Hating Someone New

22 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Crime, Culture, Politics, Religion

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By Smaktakula

Please. That Is SO 1998.

Humanity is no stranger to hate. Throughout its long and bloody history, Homo sapiens has always managed to find a worthwhile reason not just to oppose another group’s political and social agenda, but to despise and fear the individuals who comprise the group. For every enmity there is an excuse–politics, the Indian-Pakistani conflict over Kashmir; sexual identity, as in various parts of Africa or North Korea where homosexuality is too greatly feared as an abstract concept to even be acknowledged; religion, such as the recent attempts by Islamists to slaughter heretics and infidels worldwide to prepare for the coming of the New Caliphate; and so many, many more.

You Wouldn’t Be The First To Try. However, They’re Surprisingly Resilient.

However, instead of hating gays, black people or what-have-you, what if we came up with an entirely new group of people to fear and mistrust–one previously tolerated by society? The members of the newly-despised group would necessarily have to represent a smallish selection of the overall population–hating on a majority population is ultimately counterproductive (see South Africa, Apartheid and). Ideally, the new group of disadvantaged citizens would be made promptly aware of their denigrated status, so that they could appreciate the inevitable hate-crimes perpetrated against them, and not believe them to be random acts of violence.

No, This Is MY Lawn, And It Isn’t Going To Mow Itself.

We’d like to suggest a few exciting possibilities for the new object of societal derision, each of which should be perfectly suitable. A great place to start is with groups displaying interests or tastes outside the societal norm, like beekeepers, guys with comb-overs or fans of Rascal Flatts. Disparaging any or all of these groups will add more panels to the ever-growing quilt that is contemporary bigotry.

We Understand That Most Of These ‘People’ Are Born With Vestigial Tails.

Even if soon-to-be-vilified group has yet to be determined, Promethean Times has already devised a great new epithet for the eventual choice: Digleroes (singular, Diglero). Try this:  Just look at those fucking digleroes. Ever since they moved into the neighborhood, everything stinks like honey.

What A Fucking Diglero.

Look, we’re not bigoted, it’s just that we’ve got OUR neighborhoods, and the digs have THEIR neighborhoods.  ∞ T.
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Punching-Bag Faiths Make Bid For ‘Real Religion’ Status

07 Thursday Jun 2012

Posted by in Culture, Politics, Religion

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Originally Posted 01.03.12

By Smaktakula

Man, It Is So Refreshing Not Have To Make Up Some Excuse About His Politics, And Instead Simply Be Able To Say, “I’m Not Gonna Vote For This Guy ‘Cause I Hate His Crazy Religion.”

It’s no secret that joking about religion can be a dicey prospect. While it may occasionally still be safe to joke about baby-buggering bishops outside the earshot of any nearby papists (which means refraining from comment in bars, bingo parlors or AA meetings), kicking the Catholics is increasingly frowned upon in polite society. The Jews, for centuries the go-to faith for angry scapegoaters, have in the last half-century begun to push back with vehemence against all insults real and imagined. Even Islam, long-acknowledged as the most easy-going among all the Great Faiths, has begun to take a firmer hand with those who besmirch its many anachronistically inflexible tenets. It seems like nobody wants to be poked fun at any more, and doing so can cost you your job–or worse.

If Physical Intimidation Is Your Thing, Why Not Pick On The Quakers, Jehovah’s Witnesses Or Amish?–They’re Pacifists–Although They’re Tougher Than They Look.

That’s why we’re so lucky in America to have weirdo religions like the Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, snake-handlers and the like. When feeling down, who hasn’t picked himself up by joking that the Mormon guy at work “probably has like eight wives?” And almost everyone has personally experienced the joy of bonding with a stranger over a simple conversation about how fucking annoying it is to have somebody come to your door once or twice a year to tell you that God loves you.

“Would You PLEASE Stop Saying That? It’s Offensive.”

But even these small comforts may soon be a memory. Kicking bizarre religions could become a quaint relic of yesteryear if these fundamentalist wackos get their way, and pretty soon we may have to start treating these fringe-dwellers like real faiths–with respect. Ridiculous!  We would rather see our daughters forced into a life of prostitution than to compromise our principles by treating a snake handler as if he were the spiritual equal of a Methodist or a Muslim. Not only is snake handling illegal in most civilized states, but its disturbing tenets fall completely outside the boundaries of what Promethean Times deems acceptable for a ‘normal’ religion.

We Call Bullshit. They’re Happy AND They Enjoy Spending Time With Their Families? Just What The Fuck Is Wrong With These People?

While we believe that, without exception, tolerance should be extended to every person on Earth regardless of his or her wacky beliefs, we can’t stand Mormons because of their extreme and hateful view of homosexuality–they strongly disapprove of it. Perhaps if we outlawed their ridiculous religion they’d understand how important it is to tolerate people with differing beliefs, even those considered offensive.

Sure, We All Know That Church On Saturday Is Weird And Wrong. But If You Want To Avoid Real Trouble, Make Sure The Line Of People At Which You’re Throwing Eggs Is Coming Out Of A Kingdom Hall.

What can we say about the Jehovah’s Witnesses that we haven’t said before?  The really irritating thing about the Jehovah’s Witnesses is that when they’re mocked and the faith they hold so dear is distorted by a bunch of sneering half-truths, they retaliate by taking the time to write a nice note with a polite point-by-point response to the issues upon which there is disagreement. Some call it ‘turning the other cheek,’ but we call it fighting dirty.

Plus, They’re Cowards. When Most Other Able-Bodied German Men Were Doing Their Part To Enslave The Remaining Free Peoples Of Europe, The Jehovah’s Witnesses Decided They’d Rather Stay Home And Camp.

Although the American public still enjoys the right to publicly belittle these various zealots without fear of social opprobrium, the winds are changing. Soon, we may be forced to place these factions on par with those groups which have a legitimate history of persecution, like NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association. Until then, we ask that other people of legitimate faiths to join us in fervently wishing that a few more of those freaks get bit by their own deadly serpents.

Serves You Right For Being Such A Weirdo.

In America, we treat all beliefs with equal respect.  You can get behind that or you can get the fuck out. ∞T.

Members Only

23 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by in History, News

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By Smaktakula

Promoting Equality And Unity Through Race-Based Exclusion.

Americans take pride in the notion that their nation is a meritocracy, a place where the pathway to success remains open to every man, woman and child regardless of his or her race. This has not always been the case: for almost two-hundred years the United States denied equal rights to all its citizens based on the color of their skin. But times have changed, and most 21st Century Americans regard as odious any organization which precludes membership based on race. This is particularly true with regard to government.

Meet the Congressional Black Caucus. African-American members of the House of Representatives founded the CBC in 1971 to address inequities within the African-American community, particularly in regard to poverty, economic security, voting rights and health. Because the Caucus concerns itself exclusively with issues of importance to black Americans, critics of the Caucus or of Caucus members often find themselves cast as racists. The Caucus’ virtual immunity from criticism has until very recently permitted a remarkable lack of press scrutiny.

She Likely Takes A Dim View Of Race-Exclusive Organizations.

Although their membership has been primarily composed of Democrats (there have been a handful of black Republicans in congress over the years), the Congressional Black Caucus is not officially affiliated with any party. Other than being a congressperson, the one qualification for membership in the CBC is being black.

Despite this non-partisan stance, it might be expected that with the Caucus being almost exclusively comprised by Democrats, Caucus members’ loyalty might be divided between race and party. Not so. On numerous occasions the CBC has supported primary challengers against sitting Democrats if the challenger was African-American and the sitting Democrat was not.

Pete Stark, a California Democrat and white person, tried to join the CBC in 1975. Although the Caucus’ rules do not specifically prohibit white people from joining, Stark was politely rebuffed.

The CBC Is Keeping It Real, And By Real We Mean Exclusively African-American.

More recently, another white guy tried to join the club–Tennessee Democrat Stephen I. Cohen. While campaigning in the heavily black district formerly held by Harold Ford, Cohen promised that if elected, he would join the Caucus to better represent the interests of his constituents.

Cohen failed to understand that the CBC’s interest lie with black politicians, not black constituents. Shortly after Cohen won the seat, the Caucus made it clear that even one caucasian was one too many.

Undercover Brother: The Rep. From NC Is A Proud Member Of The Caucus.

Said Representative William Lacy Clay Jr., a Missouri Democrat, “Mr. Cohen asked for admission, and he got his answer.” Defending this policy, which might seem reminiscent of a Jim Crow era No Negroes In The Country Club practice, Clay said, “It’s an unwritten rule. It’s understood. It’s clear.”

Cohen said he became convinced that joining the caucus would be “a social faux pas” after seeing news reports that former Rep. William Lacy Clay Sr., D-Mo., a co-founder of the Caucus, had circulated a memo telling members it was “critical” that the group remain “exclusively African-American.”

Unfortunately, the delicious irony of race-based exclusion by a congressional body stemming directly from the civil rights movement seems lost on the members of the Caucus.

“Sir, There Is Nothing At All Ironic About Your Racism!”

No Gingers Need Apply

13 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by in Culture, News, Science

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By Smaktakula

It's Practically The US Motto.

Historically, gingers have had it rough.  Thought in ancient times to be possessed of sinister powers or bestial sexual urges, today’s redhead is merely regarded as a disturbing genetic anomaly.  And yet, until recently, these soulless individuals enjoyed the same rights as the rest of unafflicted humanity.

Famed Traitor Judas Iscariot (Seen Here Kissing A Dude) Was A Ginger.

Now, all that has changed, with one organization single-handedly turning back the clock on ginger rights.  Cryos International, the world’s biggest sperm bank,  has announced that it will no longer accept donations from redheads, as its larders are positively brimming with ginjism.  The announcement was made through a representative of Cyros, who asked to remain anonymous for fear that his family might be hexed by angry gingers seeking reprisal.

There Are Some Fundamental Differences.

According to Cyros, the decision is the result of a steeply-diminished demand for red-headed baby-batter.  “In civilized, first-world countries, nobody wants a ginger around,” the Cyros rep says.  He adds, “You’ve got just one country with a high demand for redheads, and that’s Ireland.  And I don’t have to tell you that they’re all bombed out of their skulls.”

Sometimes The Greatest Kindness Is To Kill Them In Infancy.

Drunken Irishmen aside, it appears that increasingly there are fewer places in this world that gingers can call home.  Although Promethean Times understands the emotions behind Cyros’ decision–we don’t want gingers in our neighborhoods either–for society’s sake, we cannot endorse the decision to bar these Day-Glo monstrosities from donating sperm.  If not provided a safe, reliable outlet for their bestial urges, we face a future where gingers will be pleasuring themselves on Main Street.

You Don't Have To Tell Us, Man!

Clarifying Our Position On Gays In The Military

02 Friday Sep 2011

Posted by in Culture, News, Politics

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By The Promethean Times Editorial Staff

Many Soldiers Have Served Under Gay Commanders With Great Satisfaction.

With the repeal of the cowardly “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” now at hand, America is finally forced to come to grips with the notion of openly gay people serving in the military.  Our position on homosexuals serving in the military–or in doing anything anyone else does–is as follows:

Won’t ask.  Don’t Care.

Gay Men In The Navy? WHAAAAAA?!?

Seriously, the gender of the person you sleep with is the least interesting thing about you.

A gay couple gets married?  Don’t care.
Lesbians decide to adopt a child?  Don’t care.
A gay man for president? Don’t care.
Gay people upset because Promethean Times pokes fun at them?  Don’t care. ∞T.

Meet Tomorrow’s Tyrants Today: Black Julius

05 Friday Aug 2011

Posted by in Celebrity, Culture, Music, Politics

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By Smaktakula

Zuma May Be Rough Around The Edges, But Consider The Alternatives.

Making South Africa’s Jacob Zuma seem statesmanlike is no small feat.  Although the one-party nation’s populist president and leader of the ruling African National Congress (ANC) is by all appearances an affable fellow, Zuma has repeatedly demonstrated behavior unbecoming the head of the nation which, particularly in light of Egypt’s recent woes, remains a premier economic power in Africa.  In one display of poor judgement, Zuma suggested that he was not at risk  for HIV despite having unprotected sex with a woman he knew to be infected, because he took a post-coital shower.   Despite this, the young firebrand whom Zuma himself tagged to be South Africa’s future tyrant imbues the current president with an air of Dalai Lama-like gravitas by comparison.

Orange Julius Is A Different Guy Altogether. This Northern Ireland Rabble-Rouser Was Killed In A 1988 Car-Bomb Attack. Shamrock Shake Is Believed To Have Been The Culprit.

Cherubic hatemonger Julius Malema has proven a polarizing figure in South African politics.  As president of the ANC Youth League since 2008, Malema has courted a number of controversies during his tenure in office, among them vociferous and ad hominem denunciations of various ‘enemies,’ attempts to muzzle the press–including threats to shut down Twitter, and a conviction for hate speech.  Just thirty years old, the inarticulate race-baiter was nine years old when Nelson Mandela was freed and Apartheid abolished, returning national rule to the black majority.  Despite living most of his life in a black-governed South Africa, Malema still manages to blame white people for most of his country’s ills.  He doesn’t care for Asians, either.

Zuma Knowns That As Risky As It Is To Hold A Snake, It's More Dangerous To Put It Down.

As an admirer of Zimbabwe’s Robert ‘ChocoFührer’ Mugabe, Malema espouses taking the means of production out of the hands of a wealthy elite and redistributing it to his more deserving cronies.   These policies have proved nothing short of transformational for Zimbabwe; in just a few short years the aging Afro-fascist has managed to oust most of the nation’s white farmers, erasing not only their influence, but also quite coincidentally, turning what was not so long ago one of Africa’s premier nations into tomorrow’s All-Star Charity Benefit Concert.

Despite Having The Same Mustache, Mugabe Is Not At All Like Hitler. Hitler Was A White Supremacist. Mugabe Is A Black Supremacist. Completely Different.

In South Africa, the fall of Apartheid and the ensuing years of stability, peace and a relatively high living standard have made the nation unique among its neighbors.  However, if anyone can undo this damage and return South Africa to the ranks of the continent’s despotic strong-man regimes, it’s Black Julius.

Julius May Look Like An Angry Lesbian, But Really He's Just An Angry Dude.

The Westboro Baptist Church Pretty Much Hates Everybody

28 Tuesday Jun 2011

Posted by in Celebrity, Culture, News, Religion, Stupidity

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Not Unlike The Protagonists From The Wizard Of Oz, Fred's Got No Heart, No Brains, No Courage, And He's A Little Bitch From Kansas.

In a maneuver of daring doucheness which surprised both their foes and their fringy clutch of boosters alike, yokel commandos from the Westboro Baptist Church staged a brazen assault on America’s East Coast.  The majority of their forces were directed at New York’s Gay Pride Parade, with some held in reserve in the event of a public memorial for Jackass Jackass Ryan Dunn.

Fred's Daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper: You Can See The Crazy Oozing Out Of Her Like Stink From A Dog.

Westboro Baptist, the righteous army of the execrable douchelord Fred Phelps, has gained notoriety in recent years by picketing funerals, most notably those of fallen soldiers and marines.  These Kansan cock-knockers believe that America has strayed from the course intended by the Almighty by failing to lynch outright pernicious elements of society, most particularly homosexuals.  It remains unclear why the Lord of Lords has chosen as His sole prophet a deranged old nutbag from the prairie whose idea of saving souls is waving a placard thanking God for IEDs while screaming incoherently at grieving survivors.  Nevertheless, the indefatigable Clan Westboro is an increasing media presence.

What?!? The Space Shuttle? Why God, Why?

Westboro’s assault on New York City’s Gay Pride Parade is  in retaliation for New York State’s recent legalization of gay marriage, which according to one source close to Phelps has made the preacher “flaming mad, absolutely raging.”  Although the handful of church weirdos who showed up to protest the event were dwarfed in number by the gazillions who attended to celebrate, a spokesidiot for the WBC likened their situation to that of David and Goliath.  She then went on to explain twice that the story of David and Goliath has nothing at all to do with a TV show about a Claymation sissyboy and his talking dog.  She reconfirmed this information in a follow-up interview.

If God Really Hates This Dude, Why Did The Almighty Waste So Much Time On Meticulous Detail?

It is believed that several Westboro operatives remain on the East Coast, planning to disrupt the inevitable memorial to Dunn, which although as-yet-unannounced, most experts believe will have to occur soon before the reality-television clown fades from public’s goldfish-like memory.  Dunn died along with another person last week, in what in other circumstances would be called a murder-suicide, but because it was vehicular has been termed a ‘drunk driving accident.’

Granted, It Was Somewhat Irresponsible Of Dunn To Drive Drunk, Killing Himself And Another Person. But It Was REALLY Irresponsible For Roger Ebert To Suggest That Dunn Might Have Been Drunk Before The World Found Out That He Was.

Given the potential exposure of such a public event, which media outlets like MTV will be only too happy to hijack, the Church has an opportunity to bring their peculiar brand of Christianity to a wider audience.  However, the halfwits who grieve for Dunn aren’t likely to understand how the presumably heterosexual Jackass’ moronic and useless death has anything to do with God hating homosexuals.  The three or four whole-to-partially-witted folks who witness the event are likely to have the same problem.

We Remain Unconvinced That Talking About 'God's Rod' Is The Most Effective Way To Get Folks To Stop Thinking About Man-Sausage.

Hateful Attire Incites Violence

01 Friday Apr 2011

Posted by in Culture, News, Sport

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By Smaktakula

You Wouldn't Sport A Swastika In A Synagogue, Would You?

Chavez Ravine: Yesterday, an unidentified man was given an impromptu lesson in sensitivity after parading around Dodger Stadium in offensive clothing.  In what can only be viewed as a hate-statement, the gentleman is alleged to have been conspicuously displaying articles of clothing bearing the logo of the San Francisco Giants.  Such apparel is not only considered deeply offensive to fans of the Los Angeles Dodgers, but also ritually unclean.

What the man hoped to achieve with this bizarre and provocative act is unclear, but it did attract attention.  Things came to a head when two Dodger fans, possibly attempting to protect their womenfolk from the offensive barrage, found their tormentor and two companions drinking chardonnay spritzers, each politely arguing his own case as the best steward of the environment.

Nathan Bedford Forrest With A Filthy Curve.

The man’s two fair-weather friends are also thought to be San Francisco Giants fans due to the rapidity with which they fled the scene, leaving their companion to his own just desserts.  He was roundly beaten.

“I don’t know what else this man–we’ll call him Bruce Smith-Smythe–expected,” says Dr. Emil Haagerdäddi, a baseball statipscychologist, “This was an unconscionable act that demonstrates how easily Freedom of Speech can be abused.  Much like Koran-burning and the understandable mayhem it incites, this incident teaches us that there are limits to freedom.”

"Be Not Afraid Of The Enemy, My Son. Should He Strike You Down, Your Heavenly Reward Will Be 72 Alyssa Milanos."

Haagerdäddi claims that ‘Smith-Smythe’ never had a chance.  “Although Giants fans have on average a twenty-point advantage in IQ relative to Dodger fans, and tend to make a whole lot more money, it’s just tough for them to get past that nagging ‘pussy’ factor.”

Whether or not he intended it, the provocative pantywaist was shown the pain words can inflict.  There are some who will say that the bigot got off lightly, and there is validity in this contention.  But if even one Giant fan learns from this incident and is able to conquer his hate, then perhaps it will have been worth it.

That Is So Last Year.

Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong Champion Of Tolerance

21 Monday Mar 2011

Posted by in Culture, History, News

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By Smaktakula

"Believe Me, I Know I've Hurt People, But I've Learned My Lesson. Would I Do Something Like This Again? Not A Chinaman's Chance!"

When It’s Funny ‘Cause It’s Hateful.

In a stunning turn of events, comments which only days ago had been considered astoundingly offensive have now been revealed to be clever satire.  “I thought more people would get it,” says Alexandra Wallace of her clever satirical rant, “But they didn’t.  Not at first.”  The spunky UCLA student’s anti-racist message was misconstrued, leading viewers to believe that the provocative statements were Wallace’s views.  “No way,” says Wallace, “Racism is gay.”

It's A Jewish Guy Pretending To Be A Culturally-Backward And Casually-But-Brutally-Anti-Semetic Kazakh Who Exposes Bigotry By Acting Like A Bigot. Sacha Baron Cohen Is Not A Racist--He's Only Perpetuating Ignorant Stereotypes To Get A Laugh.

Wallace, who grew up on the hard streets of the suburbs, knew she wanted to devote her life to fighting racism even before she matriculated at UCLA.  Still, she isn’t sure where her quest will take her, as she doesn’t like to call herself a performance artist, nor does she see herself specifically as a comedian, “Although I think people like to laugh at themselves,” she says. Wallace considers herself a ‘Stealth Philosopher.’  “I like to blow people’s minds without them knowing it.”

Because Nothing Hurts Worse Than Words.

Wallace’s now-infamous YouTube performance was modeled on the loveable bigotry of progressive sitcom characters Archie Bunker and the ‘Even-Funnier-‘Cause-He’s-Black’ racism of George  Jefferson, and delivered in a delightfully self-aware homage to Andy Kaufman.  “I’m just like Borat!” she squeals.

Really? It's Just Because Of The Asian Thing That You're Mad At Alexandra? There Isn't Anything Else About Her That's Bothering You? Maybe Something You Think Is Just A Little Bit Unfair?

But things didn’t turn out as Wallace had planned.  It didn’t take long for Wallace’s video to go viral, but the altruistic student was surprised by the backlash which followed.  At worst, she expected her words mind garner some mild tut-tutting, as when Jesse Jacskson insulted Jews by calling New York Hymietown or when the Gaff-o-Matic Joe Biden marveled that a black presidential candidate could be both clean and articulate. “I guess I forgot to take a good look in the mirror this morning,” Wallace says.

For Reals. We Read This Through A Couple Times, And Apparently There Just Isn't Any Protection For Your Hurt Feelings. Yes, We'll Look Again.

Although she had expected some grousing from purists who didn’t approve of her radical method for delivering her message, Wallace could in no way have been prepared for the firestorm which followed.  Although Wallace didn’t say anything which isn’t being said right now in America’s comedy clubs, she failed to take into account how being a blond–and therefore presumably privileged–white girl only served as a degrading example to other girls who were not, and could never be, blond white girls.

"Seventy Years Ago, My Great-Grandfather--A Loyal American Citizen--Was Deprived Of His Property And His Rights When The US Government Imprisoned Him During WWII For The Crime Of Having Parents Born In Japan. Now That I've Been Forced To Hear These Terrible Comments, I Know Exactly The Horror He Experienced."

“With the edgy stuff we see on TV–there’s a laugh track to let us know when someone is only pretending to be racist.  But Ms. Wallace provided no such mechanism. We thought it was racism,” says UCLA Chancellor Gene D. Block.  “That’s why we hounded Ms. Wallace out of school and contributed to the lynch mob mentality.”  Shaking his head he whispers, “If only we’d gotten it a little sooner.  She could have made it easier.”  He went on to add that picking on Asians was an especially contentious issue, since with the exception of age-old cultural prejudices against blacks, whites and even other Asians, this sort of intolerance is not seen at all in Asia.

We Get It--Racism Hurts. Wow, We Haven't Seen You This Upset Since The Time You Thought You Saw Your Sister Talking To A Black Guy.

Wallace agrees.  “It’s my own fault.  I didn’t take into account that all Asians–or ‘Orientals,’ as they prefer to be called–lack a sense of humor.  Everyone knows that you need a soul to laugh.”  True to character, Wallace remained stonefaced, pretending confusion at the nervous titters which greeted her statement.

People Were Once Able To Use The Term 'Lovable Bigot' While Keeping A Straight Face.

But with Wallace’s biting diatribe revealed to be satire, the misunderstanding has been put to rest.  UCLA has asked Wallace to come back–but not as a student.  Starting in September, Wallace will teaching a seminar on sarcasm in the new media.  Wallace has put aside her own educational plans for the moment to pursue a career in front of the camera.  “I love it,” she says, “LA is awesome, but there’s kinda a lot of Mexicans.  They drive really gross cars and they don’t talk English.  And can I say that there are WAY too many homos here?”

"What Pisses Me Off Is That Smaktakura Depicts Me Talking Rike A Cartoon Asian. God Dammit! You See! He Doing It Right Now! Me So Angry!"

Hate can be funny.  But serious hate is no laughing matter.

UPDATE: Apparently, earlier reports claiming that Wallace’s unconscionable racial hate screed was satirical in nature have been revealed to be false.  Given that no sensible person could find anything remotely humorous in her comments, Wallace must be seen for the ugly hate-monger that she is.  Despite the many striking resemblances to even more incendiary but also more socially instructive characters like Borat, Archie Bunker and George Jefferson or the similarities between Wallace’s comments and those of edgy comedians like George Carlin or Lewis Black, the former UCLA student uses her words to hurt rather than heal. There are those who say that the young woman has suffered enough for what were essentially harmless comments, and who see something unseemly in the smug, contrived anger of this recent witch hunt.  Ridiculous.  We question whether Wallace’s complete ruination goes far enough.  We can only hope that Wallace develops a hideous and painful wasting disease.  Maybe then she’ll understand just how much words hurt.

It's Okay To Laugh; It's Just Hate For Pretend. Right?

Stand Tall, Mississippi!

11 Friday Feb 2011

Posted by in Celebrity, Culture

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By Smaktakula

Unlike Despotic North Korea, Mississippi Has Long Been A Bastion Of Liberty And Complete Equality For All People.

Although impoverished third-world hellhole North Korea and impoverished first-world hellhole Mississippi are roughly the same size, have similar literacy rates and offer an almost identical standard of living, the Southern US state has an edge over the isolated Asian regime: North Korea has yet to produce either an Elvis or a Faulkner.

"He Knew Then--Just As He Had Always Known But Drew From His Ignorance (Or His Supposed Ignorance Or Rather His Imposed Ignorance, Because It Was A Thing Which He Had Taken Upon Himself, Glad In The Lethe-Like Completeness Of Its Abnegation And Erasure) That Sustenance With Which The Ignorant, Or Perhaps Just The Apparently Ignorant, Seem To Subsist, Growing No Fatter Nor Leaner For It--That His Home Country With Its Dusty Roads Trod Firm By The Eternal Unyielding Drum Of Bare Feet On That Blood-Earned Earth, Themselves Beset By Hookworm Or A Dozen Other Rots And Blights For Which They Did Not Know The Name Or Even That A Name For The Thing Should Exist At All, The Sweating September Pines Whispering The True History Of The Place, The One Not Man Nor Woman Nor Child, Negro Nor Caucasian, Youth Nor Town Father, Would Dare Or Even Think To Give Voice But Knew As Well As Anyone Else, And With A Thousand Other Afflictions Besides Was Still His Home Country After All, And He No More Divisible From It Than Red From A Ruby, And That He Could Feel About It However He Wished But That It Loved Him Still And Whether He Knew It (And He Did Know It; Had Known It Like The Other Thing) Or Cared To Admit It Anyway Would Draw Him Like The Moths Which In His Youth Danced About the Oil Lamps At The Hunting Camp Until They, Like He, Would Almost Against Their Will Be Plunged Into It And There Finally Be Settled Alongside His Progenitors, Hated And Beloved Both, At Long Last Making Literal His Heretofore Symbolic Bond To The Land; Knowing This, He Said, 'SCREW Y'ALL, NORTH KOREA! Y'ALL KIN KISS MAH REBEL ASS!'"

"Pyongyang? Huh. Whuddaya Spose That Is, Fellas? The Chinese Word For Ladyparts?"

“Ha! Ladyparts!  Good one, E!”