dickheadedness, making friends, Oprah Winfrey, places that don't suck, San Luis Obispo, schadenfreude, SLO, yes we're jerks
With record temperatures baking the nation, the highways and Interstates clogged with holiday travellers and the myriad pressures of the work-a-day world, it’s a fair bet somebody could use a laugh today.
Promethean Times is headquartered in San Luis Obispo County, California, which is situated on the coast between better-known counties, Santa Barbara and Monterey. Nonetheless, our little patch of the world has attracted some attention–a no-less authoritative source than the nigh-deific Oprah Winfrey has declared San Luis Obispo to be the “Happiest City in America.”
In the following video, Lady Winfrey dispatches her humpalicious lackey, Jenny McCarthy, to investigate the secret behind “the SLO life.”
Jenny’s a ‘tard, but we really do know our neighbors. Lately, I’ve heard people bandy about a lot of shit about the supposed phoniness of the phrase “Have a nice day” or the Hollywood shallowness of Californians, but that’s not what I see.
Here’s a non-Oprah (and completely unbiased) testament to our greatness:
As this goes to press at 3:45 PM PST (Proper Standard Time), the temperature in SLO is somewhere around 75 degrees.
And that’s where we live!
But wait! you say, That wasn’t funny! That wasn’t funny at all. I thought you said somebody needed a laugh!
We’re very sorry that you misunderstood, but if it helps–we’re laughing.
Hey Smak, this was (is) great! Looks gorgeous and those temps seem very appealing right now. Happiness City in America sounds like my kind of place. But now I’m ticked off ’cause I’m not there as you all laugh. Thanks for that. (just kidding). Have a nice day, btw I mean that. :).
Aw, thanks–it’s nice to see that the heat hasn’t wilted your sweet personality. It is lovely here, but thanks for taking my boasting in stride!
Madame Weebles said:
But where’s the Schadenfreude?? I was waiting for you to tell me that Oprah was busted for cocaine possession or that Jenny McCarthy’s left boob deflated. Instead I read about a happy town in California where everyone is nice. I feel cheated.
Make no mistake, Madame–it’s dripping with Schadenfreude.
That’s the German word for spelling errors, right?
I would love to believe that Oprah’s gonna be busted for coke, but after C. Rubin’s “Watergate Rabbi” I don’t know if I’ll ever believe again.
And while Jenny McCarthy’s boob hasn’t deflated that I know of, talk show host Jenny Jones did. It wasn’t pretty.
El Guapo said:
Traveled through San Luis Obispo once. Very pretty. Isn’t it near Solvang, home of a very odd hotel?
Beautiful digs, Smak.
Was it a lacrosse trip, by any chance? I know you used to play, and there are a few LAX schools up & down the coast.
We are near Solvang–about an hour away in Northern Santa Barbara county. I’m not aware of any odd hotels there, but I’ll bet you’re right–I just don’t know Solvang that well. SLO has a couple unusual hotels, including the Madonna Inn with its themed rooms, and the Motor Inn, which is apparently the world’s first motor lodge.
El Guapo said:
It was a trip with the folks around ’88.
It was the Madonna Inn. That and a candle making demo we saw stand out in my memory.
Fun! I loved road trips with my mom as a kid, although I was a little shit (as I’m sure you have little trouble imagining). My boys are almost to the age where we can start doing that (rather than overnight trips to LA); I’m excited. I just like to go places–period.
Thanks for rubbing your beautiful surroundings in my Ohio face. Well, we do have some pretty pockets, as long as you don’t rest your eyes for too long. That being said, San Luis Obispo really does look like a lovely place. I’m a bit jealous. But I couldn’t watch the video with Jenny McCarthy in it, because, well, because it has Jenny McCarthy in it. (I won’t get into how difficult that woman made the practice of pediatrics with her unscientific notions, because if I go there, you’ll have more comments than you’d ever care for; believe me, I’ve seen those forums.)
And I’m so sorry I made your little-engine heart afraid to believe. Just close your eyes, clench your fists, and say, “I think I can. I think I can.” Before you know it, rainbows will appear, your engine will rev, and you’ll be a believer once again.
I’m sure there are many lovely parts of Ohio. I’ve only traveled through the state (I slept on the floor of the Toledo bus station), so I haven’t seen it at its best, I’m sure.
I’m fascinated by lovely enclaves in the middle of unlivable shitholes. Recently, I was checking out Google Maps of Taft, California (which you likely haven’t heard of unless you’ve seen the very funny “Best of Times” with Robin Willians and Kurt Russell; it’s located in California’s Central Valley, called “the New Appalachia” by The Economist), and sure enough, even that forgotten wayside has a millionaire’s row of mansions. Their pools are the only spot of color in that town.
Curly Carly said:
75 degrees?! I envy you so much right now. At 10:15 PM here in Texas, it’s about 85 degrees. 10:15 PM!
Texas can be nice, though. I spent some time in San Antonio one summer, and while the days were punishing, the nights were actually kinda nice.
Jenny is not easy to watch. I swear those 3 minutes seemed like an eternity. But I soldiered through knowing Oprah as a deity must have had some reason for choosing her.
It really does look like a great place to live.
I have no snarky remarks for you. I am just openly, very jealous of your part of the world. That’s all i have to say.
104 in Columbus OH SUCKS! Good for you to live in a more civilized clime. I also envy your location in January when it’s 20 below and everything is encased in ice, Today, though I am enjoying the ice, in my iced tea with no sugar with a bit of lemon, Between the heat and 100% humidity, I can’t walk out the door and draw breath. However, as long as the fine folks at AEP keep the power on, I should remain air-conditioned for the duration. Tomorrow is supposed to be back in the low 80s, albeit accompanied by torrential rain and violent storms.
Why the hell do I live in Ohio? Oh, yeah, because I can’t afford to leave, 😦
Sounds awful, but when it’s 55 degrees here in April and perfectly pleasant in Ohio, you’ll have the opportunity to laugh at me.
If you can’t take the heat stop being so fat. That’s what I always say.
But it’s my glands!
The last time I had heat stroke I was 18, 5’4″ and 122#. That wasn’t obesity- it was stupidity- staying out all day in the sun working with no drinks. I thought I could handle it as an 18 year old punk. I know I can’t handle it as a 40 something rode-hard-and-put-away-wet old cougar. And yes, before you say it, I am still 5’4″ but I do weigh a bit more than 122#. I’m not exactly a heifer by any stretch, but I’m not rail thin like that any more either.
Well, it probably was with me. I was a fat little fucker. I weighed more at 15 than I do now.
That means you are not too far off the Big Sur stretch of the coast. Tis pretty up there, I agree. I’m Orange County, where the heat is not new (although not yet near its maximum), but tis the land of air conditioning, so we can have a good laugh at everyone else getting hot, whilst contributing to killing the planet in our own way. Well I suppose I could pretend global warming isn’t happening, much like everyone else will do the moment the heatwave moves on.
Southern Californians always put us in Northern California, and Northerners lump us in with the south. You’ve at least got the right region, although I’m about 100 miles south of there, about 240 miles north of you give or take (my wife’s from OC). It is pretty, and I do love it here, but I have to admit that it lacks many of the amenities of a larger place. I’ll take it, mind you, but if I want to go to a concert, or see a professional ballgame or something like that, I’ve got to drive a long way.
It’s 61 beautiful degrees here in Crescent City (outskirts), not a cloud in the sky, and 74% humidity. I’m going outside for a nap and pretend I’m an old hippie…. 🙂
I have fond memories of “SLO”. I visited friends there in college, during the annual Mardi Gras celebration. But then there was a giant riot, and now I don’t think they have it anymore. But man it was fun to say I survived a riot.
They don’t do it any more, and that event (and a couple similar events as I recall) are the reason. If it’s the event I’m thinking of, I was in college for that as well, but elsewhere.
But yeah, it is pretty cool to say you survived a riot. And someday you can tell your kids, “and that’s how I got my first color TV.”