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Daily Archives: September 13, 2012

No Burnout For These Burnouts

13 Thursday Sep 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture

≈ 35 Comments

Tags

audiobooks ruin lives, burnouts, Information Revolution, lazy people, making excuses, outright lies, stump humping

By Smaktakula

We Meant “Burnout” As In ‘Lazy Stoner.’ No, Whatever This Guy’s Issues Were, He Was Definitely A Do-er.

One of the most paradigm-shifting developments of the Information Revolution has been often cacophonous proliferation of voices on the internet, from all walks of life and from the furthest reaches of the globe. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the blogosphere, where the informed and the uninformed alike have an equal voice and a platform from which they can not only shine the light of truth on the critical issues of the day, but also obfuscate those very same issues through a crippling and tragic idiocy, or simply take the middle path and make a bunch of shit up.

Artful Mendacity Requires Skill, Craftsmanship And Dedication. Truth Demands Only Honesty, And Any Idiot Can Do That.

It would seem there are as many different variety of blogs as there are people. From hard-hitting news to cookie-decorating tips; from photo galleries of painstakingly recreated and exquisitely detailed Smurf villages to erotic furry fan-fiction; from family-friendly stories about alpaca ranching to sites dedicated to poetry and short-fiction set in the world of amputee fetishism (‘stump humping’).

The Vagaries Of Human Sexuality Are Baffling, But Believe It Or Not, Some People Find Images Like This To Be Amputitillating.

But for all their variety, blogs can really be summed up into two very distinct categories: those which quickly peter out and those which don’t. All things end, but some things end earlier than others, and while everyone has something to say, it seems most people don’t have all that much. Usually these blogs simply end, with the mystery blogger sinking back into the vast anonymous internet soup from which he was first spawned. Occasionally, however, the soon-to-be-ex-blogger will post a final apologetic note blaming burnout.

This is not one of those posts. Don’t worry–as my high school teachers so often sought to remind me, I’m going nowhere.

We Don’t Plan To.

Lately I haven’t been around as much as I’d like. I’ve had to slightly reduce the frequency of my posts (which you probably haven’t noticed) and have been even more tardy than usual about reading and commenting on other sites (which you likely have). Friends, it’s not you, it’s me.

Don’t Get Excited Folks; We’re Not Going Anywhere.

Although I have on many occasions been described unflatteringly as a burnout, the unquenchable fountain of wrong-headed ideas still burbles implacably in the recesses of my brain, demanding that I give it voice. Moreover, with the precarious state of world affairs, it is no exaggeration to say that humanity more than ever needs Promethean Times’ unwavering message of positivity and love.

We’re Boiling Over With Hot, Sticky Affection. Is It So Wrong That We Want To Share It With You?

I understand this awesome responsibility, and take it seriously. However, as some of you already know, some career goals toward which I have been working over the past two years have begun rapidly to bear fruit, which has proved an unexpected (although by no means unwelcome) distraction. While it’s true that I am a man of a great many enviable talents, time-management is not among these, and has further confounded my efforts to engage with the greater blogging community.

Yeah, In The Same Way Smart People Love The Illiterate Folks Who Fry Up Their Burgers.

Since I don’t plan to go anywhere, you may wonder why I mention this at all. You’ll still see regular posts on Promethean Times, and although I’ll continue to be among the last to comment both here and on other sites, you’ll still see me hanging around your blogs like a pervert skulking behind the elementary school at 3:00 PM.  The reason I’m telling you this now is so that I can stop fucking apologizing for my late comments.

Much love.

You May Not See Us Around Quite As Much, But We See You. And When You Least Expect It, We’ll Reach Out To Touch You In A Very Personal Way.

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