Tags
'Lil Klansman, Asians, Barack Obama, caucasians, Dockers, hate groups, Hernan Cortes, Jeff Foxworthy, Jeffrey Dahmer, KKK, Klansman, Ku Klux Klan, Mt. Everest, serial killers, Sir Edmund Hillary, Tenzing Norgay, the stupid things white people do to their hair, white man's overbite, white people, whitey
By Smaktakula
For Whitey, By Whitey.
Caucasians Tend To Have Higher Incidences Of The So-Called ‘Dork Gene’ Than The Other Races, Although In This They Are Followed Closely By Asians.
With A Few Notable Exceptions, The Premier Spleen-Eating Nutjobs Have All Been White.
Honestly, White People Don’t Think He’s Funny Either. They Just Pretend To Because It Annoys You.
For Many Years, It Was Considered A Lock That A White Dude Would Win The Presidency.
Whatever. Do We Give You A Hard Time About Putting Salsa On Everything?
Worst Case Scenario: He Gets A Ticket.
White Man’s Overbite: Why Fair-Skinned Dudes Should Not Dance (This Applies To Straight Men Only–You Do Your Thing, Girlfriend).
Despite The Diluting Tendencies Of Multiculturalism, Some Fashions Remain Distinctively White.
“It’s True That Sir Edmund Hillary–A White Man–Was The FIrst To Reach The Top Of Mt. Everest. I Should Know; I Was There.”
Much Like The Futuristic Do-Gooders Of Star Trek, White People Have Always Endeavored To Be Respectful Of Indigenous Cultures.
It’s Never To Early To Instill A Sense Of Community Spirit In Your Child.
“Whitey 4 Life, Yo!”
Promethean Times 
There are few things as unsexy as the White Man’s Overbite. It even trounces the White Man’s Two-step lawnmower dance. Just when I think I have cured my husband of the former, it cruelly resurfaces, and I want nothing more than to smack it off of his face. Next time I just might…
Oh, and for the record, I’d like whoever dressed their child in that horrible white-hooded monstrosity to be dumped into a Tyler Perry movie…
Yeah, it’s pretty fucked-up the things some parents do to their kids. Still, this is America, and if you want to raise your child to be a hateful moron, that’s your right. For now.
I am the world’s worst dancer. One time, in Ireland (I have to be at least a little intoxicated to even get out on the dance floor), a guy came up to me and said, what under almost any other circumstance would be a passive-aggressive dig. I’m not sure how to put it in terms that won’t make it look that way, and at first I thought that’s what the guy was doing, but his natural good nature kept me from throttling him (he was much smaller than I). He said, “I really admire you. You’re the worst fucking dancer in the world, and yet there you are, out on the dancefloor flailing away.”
Uh, thanks?
Ahh, the back-handed compliment. I’ve received a few of those myself. And I’m glad you didn’t throttle him. After all, we non-violent Americans have a reputation to uphold… 😉
White men cannot dance. There is no “dancing gene” in their DNA. And the Klan will take just about anyone, including, for a brief time in the mid-1950’s, my not-so-white father-in-law.
Now that sounds like an interesting story…
That last picture really sucker punched me in the soul. Not because I have a problem with kids smoking and acting like thugs, but because I’ll never be that cool.
I never thought about the overbite until just now. It really is an affliction only white guys suffer from while dancing.
Also, I must get a “You’re EXTRA white” award because I like Miracle Whip.
Miracle Whip kicks ass!
Elysian, I only want to make sandwiches with you from now on.
The white folks on the tree limb…oh.my.god. The klan kid – shameful. The overbite guy – lmao…(your comment about your dancing made me think of that stupid saying, “Dance like no ones watching) *snicker*
Well, I don’t think I’ve danced since!
A girl after my own heart!
Keep dancing!!!
My illustrious spouse is Native American- which culturally is sort of like white as far as the redneck factor goes- but he’s a tad bit darker, sort of like an Asian, with very straight black hair and no body hair to speak of. The last time we went to Canada (before passports were required) the border guard asked all the standard questions, wanted to see our driver’s licenses, and the (99 Tacoma) truck registration.
I was answering all her questions and had given her the driver’s licenses and paperwork when she looked over at Jerry with some serious stink-eye and demanded, “I want to hear YOU talk.”
It seems she mistook him for someone of middle-eastern descent, because he is a bit on the swarthy side, and wanted to be sure I wasn’t trying to smuggle a terrorist over the border.
Ok, so it is racial profiling. He does look middle-eastern if you don’t know any better, although I don’t think the Arabs have discovered NASCAR t-shirts and velcro tennis shoes.
As Jerry answered her questions, he removed all doubt as to his geographical origin. The only language he knows is redneck English, complete with the Central Ohio Newscaster accent. She let us right on through.
Oh, white people. Rumour is, if you cut one, they bleed acid.