By Tardsie
In which we respond to spam with a public service.
Disclaimer: Although he doesn’t really do it very much any more,¹ Tardsie is a licensed insurance professional in the state of California. Please consult your insurance provider before making any decisions or purchasing any insurance-related products.
Recently, Promethean Times received this spam message:
| Invest In Gold goldira3.com/ 125.230.254.224 |
Submitted on 2013/04/24 at 6:44 am
Invest In Gold… Does renter’s insurance cover jewelry…. |
Boy, Did You Come To The Right Guy!
We respond:
That’s a great question, Anonymous Spambot, and while we’re not interested in investing in gold at this time, we’d be more than happy to answer your query.
First of all, I’m delighted to hear that you have Renter’s Insurance. Despite being inexpensive and readily available, Renter’s Insurance, which most often includes a package of personal property protection, liability and guest medical coverage, is vastly underutilized in America today. The reasons are myriad, ranging from grossly underestimating the expense required to replace clothing, furniture and electronics in the event of a covered loss to a failure to understand the very real need for this product (e.g., “If the pipes burst, and water destroys all my stuff, my landlord will pay for it.”).
But to your question, “Will Renter’s Insurance Cover My Jewelry?” the answer is NO. Most Renter’s policies don’t cover unique or hard-to-replace items for more than an aggregate $1,000, if they cover them at all. In the event of a loss, these items will likely not be covered at their full value. Fortunately, many Renter’s policies allow you to schedule unique or hard-to-replace items at appraised values for an additional fee and a written appraisal from a qualified expert.
Your insurance agent will be more than happy to help you determine your exact needs in regard to scheduling jewelry and other high-value items on your Renter’s policy. We hope our advice has helped, and that your journey forward in the fascinating world of insurance minutiae is a rewarding one! Come again.
I Try To Bring A Sense Of Quiet Professional Dignity To Everything I Do.
¹ I’ll actually be doing a short stint in the insurance salt mines from 05.20-5.31. Once again, I’ll need your pity, folks–they’re expecting five hours a day out of me. Thank God for the Memorial Day 3-Day Weekend. Working folk like us deserve a break now and then, am I right? ∞ T.
Promethean Times 
So nice of you to respond to the Spambot. Even predators need a little TLC every now and then.
By the way, on the slim chance I found myself ever craving Marshmallow Motleys, thanks to that photo, I won’t any longer.
Well, it probably shouldn’t come as any surprise to you to know that I hear that all the time!
Apparently, a taste for Marshmallow Motleys is replaced by an insatiable craving for German sausage.
And please believe me when I say I can’t help myself.
haaa haaaa ditto
An occasional chit-chat with one’s insurance agent is a good idea. Especially regarding renter’s insurance and any particularly valuable crap you really would want replaced should your residence go up in flames or be torn apart by wolves or something. I need to talk to him about my priceless 15 year old classic cathode-tube style Panasonic TV, my lovely collection of furniture-acquired-at-various-yard-sales, and my assortment of kitchen utensils, pots, pans and dishes that are mostly older than me, ’cause a lot of them were my Grandma’s. I need extra coverage to replace these priceless relics. Oh, and the Hello Kitty shower curtains. I can’t forget those.
In all seriousness, yes even if one rents one needs to insure their own crap that doesn’t belong to the landlord, and that’s a good point. I have renter’s insurance. And a lot of, well, crap.
Actually, you’re smart to have it, despite your stuff being “crap.” I don’t know about Ohio (I don’t know if they even have indoor plumbing there), but in California, your items are often insured at REPLACEMENT VALUE not ACTUAL CASH VALUE, which means that if your 15 year-old TV burns up, you’ll most likely get a new one. Check with your agent, but I think you’re smart to have it.
Oh, yes, I have checked into it. I do have replacement value coverage, so I would get today’s equivalent for my ancient crap. Being in Ohio I have flood insurance (which you have to buy separately) because I live in a drained swamp.
It’s just I don’t buy new furniture with two dogs and four cats.
Ohio does have indoor plumbing in most locales, at least since the 1950’s. Even the state parks and roadside rests got flushing crappers back in the 80’s. West Virginia was a holdout on flush toilets for a long time, but you can find them there as well- as long as you’re close to the Interstate.
Holy shit… that pic! I think another reason people don’t get renter’s insurance is because, even though the cost is generally negligible, most people view it as an unnecessary expense in relation to the “chances” of a fire or flood ruining all their shit. AT my apartment complex, it’s required.
Renter’s insurance is a requirement for us. However, we were able to claim a collection of priceless Ming vases on our list of valuables, so we’ll be setting fire to the house sometime next month. Woo hoo!
Ooh…your insurer MIGHT have a “no arson” clause in the policy jacket. Check with an insurance professional BEFORE buying any accelerant.
Is the weed really free?
Sadly, they’re talking about a place. I was fooled too.
So, are you having a beer with a side of eggnog? Is that a German thing? I also wanted to say that I’m impressed that you are able to fondle yourself AND drink a beverage while sound asleep. I can easily see why those insurance people decided to hire you.
Thanks, Bill! You know, people have told me that when they think of me, they think of “a serious man.” I’m all work and no play.
I’m wondering is renter’s insurance would have helped me with that whole ‘Katrina’ thing…..
Love the picture!
Oof! No fun! Honestly, it might not have helped at all. Here in California (where we don’t have hurricane insurance) such a loss would be covered by flood insurance, which many people (myself included) don’t have. However, Renter’s Insurance IS worth checking out. In fact, it’s often so inexpensive that if you get it from the same person who insures your car, it can sometimes be had for little or no additional charge thanks to all the discounts.
I have renters insurance. I made sure it would cover my guitars.
I think you should threaten you prospective customers that you’ll send the local high school kids to their homes when they’re away for a kegger (do they still do those?) if they don’t get renters insurance.
hehehe.
That’s a good question, Guap–I don’t know if kids still rage at keggers. Since now my raging is confined to telling kids to “get off of my damn lawn!” I’m too old to be able to say with certainty.
I have home owners now, but did have renters insurance at one time. Someone broke in our house when we lived next door and stole some electronic stuff and some other things I can’t remember (the deductible was more than what it would have cost to replace the stuff so we didn’t make a claim) but I’m not knocking it all !!! The shitty part was they picked up my husbands keys and stole his truck and it was never recovered. About six mos later the cops sent me a letter asking me if it was still stolen and basically were they still supposed to be looking for it? WTF?
Lame! I’ve many times had to deal with people in that same exact situation. It sucks for us too, because the person often asks, “Well, why the hell do I have insurance then?” and all I can say is something lame like “It could have been worse.”
Oh, and I am also I’m impressed that you are able to fondle yourself AND drink a beverage while sound asleep.
Well now you know that when I say I can fondle myself in my sleep, you know I’m not joking.
I’m sorry I doubted you!
We would have it even if it weren’t required by our property management. It is extremely affordable, and would cover a sizable chunk of replacements. Not that I ever want to actually need to use it.
There are times when people wonder why bother when something isn’t covered. But in a span of bad luck with 3 front windshields, I’m happy to say the car insurance covered them. And dental insurance meant my wisdom-teeth extractions were only physically painful — not financially!
That is one mighty fine photo of you, sir. It screams professionalism and dignity. As for your insurance stint, consider yourself pitied.