, , , ,

By Smaktakula

In which we present a happy thought for the weekend:

It’s True: We Spend A Good Deal Of Our Free Time Devising Ways To Bring A Little More Sunshine Into Your Life.

Life is demanding, noisy and chaotic. It is distracting. The myriad stimuli with which we anesthetize ourselves and to which we have become hopelessly addicted often obscure the everyday wonders which are never in short supply, but lacking the stridency and sex-appeal of electronic gadgetry, go so often unnoticed.

One such simple but overlooked beauty of life is manifested in a biological quirk: that men and boys are able to pee standing up. Although this truth is known to virtually the entire human population over the age of two, very few stop to consider the full ramifications of this notion.

Eww. See? You’re Not Ready For This Awesome Privilege.

Contemplating the nature of the standing pee is of benefit to both sexes.  Reduced to its essence, it becomes a liberating, powerful concept:

Men, the world itself is your urinal.

Take joy in this freedom to go where you want to go.

There’s Only One Rule: Shake It Off Before It Goes Back In Your Pants.

And ladies, that the world is not your urinal no doubt comes as something of a relief.

Any Time. Any Place. Any Reason.

Back in college, this one dude got pretty fucked up one night and peed on every single exterior stairway handrail on campus. He regretted it the next morning, but what could he do?–so he never told anyone.  If you ever happen to find yourself at a particular small, Southern California liberal arts college, avoid the payphones for the same reason.  ∞ T.