One week from today, my buddy Dave (from this True-Ass Tale) is getting married. I’m far too much a gentleman to take revenge, let alone on the happiest day of his life–but imagine the possibilities!
By Tardsie
I taught for a few years after college before making a career change to sales. The two fields are not so dissimilar as you might at first believe; the best teachers are salesmen at heart, I think, labelling their product ‘knowledge.’ As my life began to ebb toward one of responsibility and potential maturity, I viewed the career switch–erroneously, it seems to me now–as an almost necessary rite of passage into adulthood. The first thing you should understand is that I believed I needed this job, and made every effort to convince my new employers that I was Joe Corporate.
The other thing you should understand is about my friend Dave Chen–he’s not at all stupid. If this weren’t already apparent from his ethnic heritage (Asians don’t come in ‘dumb’; folks, you can call me a racist if you like, but only if you have ever personally encountered…
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Have fun at the wedding! (maybe you can revenge him at the bachelor party?)
He isn’t actually having one. Believe it or not, I’m not a fan of bachelor parties. For my own wedding we just had a “party” party.
We all need friends like that, people we can be complete dicks with. Also, your middle finger looks just as good as mine. We should set them up on a date. And congratulations, Dave!
Also, your middle finger looks just as good as mine.
Don’t sell your digit short, Weebs. I didn’t notice yours being weirdly bent ala Bill Clinton’s dick.
I’m sure you’ll miss his ” single” status, coz he’s definitely going to change… to family man, y’know.
Save your revenge for after the ceremony; it’ll be so much sweeter then, you know, right around the time it really starts to sink in what a completely asinine contract he’s just entered…
Oh, pooh–what a romantic you are, Alex!
LOL!!!!
Great post! I love “modern romance”!