By Tardsie

Wow. Why Not Start Tomorrow Off With Some Decaf?

In which we offer some classic comebacks.

• So funny I forgot to laugh.

• Well, that’s what you say.

• Yeah, that’s a good one. Hey, I used to have a shirt like that, but then my dad got a job!

Well, I Am What I Eat, After All--That's Why You're A Dick.

• When God was handing out ‘brains,’ you were back in line getting seconds on ‘mouth.’

• I’d cut you down, but shit don’t slice.

• Har-Dee-Har-Har. You’re quite the comedian.

• You think you’re so cool. But you know what? You’re not!

Can't Hear This? Then Maybe I Should Turn It Up.

• That was funny. LIKE IN FIRST GRADE!

• I’d engage you in a battle of wits, but I make it a practice not to fight an unarmed man.

• I don’t get it.

• That’s what your mother said.

I Don't Have A Mom; Me And My Dad Use Yours.

• Talk to the hand.

• Real mature. That’s just sooooo mature.

• I know you are but what am I? (repeat)

• Fuck you, you fucking fucker!

"Um, Okay. But Maybe I'll Just Burn Down The Building."