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By Tardsie

Wow. Why Not Start Tomorrow Off With Some Decaf?

In which we offer some classic comebacks.

  • So funny I forgot to laugh.

  • Well, that’s what you say.

  • Yeah, that’s a good one. Hey, I used to have a shirt like that, but then my dad got a job!

Well, I Am What I Eat, After All--That's Why You're A Dick.

  • When God was handing out ‘brains,’ you were back in line getting seconds on ‘mouth.’

  • I’d cut you down, but shit don’t slice.

  • Har-Dee-Har-Har. You’re quite the comedian.

  • You think you’re so cool. But you know what? You’re not!

Can't Hear This? Then Maybe I Should Turn It Up.

  • That was funny. LIKE IN FIRST GRADE!

  • I’d engage you in a battle of wits, but I make it a practice not to fight an unarmed man.

  • I don’t get it.

  • That’s what your mother said.

I Don't Have A Mom; Me And My Dad Use Yours.

  • Talk to the hand.

  • Real mature. That’s just sooooo mature.

  • I know you are but what am I? (repeat)

  • Fuck you, you fucking fucker!

"Um, Okay. But Maybe I'll Just Burn Down The Building."