By Smaktakula

All This And A Really Bitchin' Tent. Who Wouldn't Want To Hit It With The Colonel?

For the second time in months, the public has been treated to a TMI-moment courtesy of a sun-addled madman.  First there was the protein-drenched horror of Osama bin Laden’s Pakistani whack-shack, which forced a disgusted audience to envision the leader of the Evil Ones waging his own single-handed jihad upon the one-eyed infidel.  Now, the chaotic events in Libya have elevated the carnal cravings of another evil bastard into public view.  It seems that deranged sand-despot Muammar al-Gaddafi has a crush on a certain American gal.

Gaddafi Unsuccessfully Attempts To Lure Rice Into The Desert To Perform The Ancient Ritual Of The Three-Humped Camel.

Fleeing his compound ahead of blood-crazed rebels, Gaddafi was forced to abandon several objects of deep personal significance.  Among these was a stalker’s Bible in the form of a scrapbook filled with pictures of Stanford professor Condoleezza Rice, whom Gaddafi once called “my darling black African woman.”  The former US Secretary of State, who is very much available, declined to comment.

We're Not Sure Why The Tough, NFL-Loving Former Secretary Of State Is Unmarried At 56. Perhaps She Just Hasn't Met The Right Oil Despot Yet.