Tag Archives: TMI

TripoliWatch 2011: For The Love Of Condi

26 Friday Aug 2011

Posted by in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, News, Politics

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By Smaktakula

All This And A Really Bitchin' Tent. Who Wouldn't Want To Hit It With The Colonel?

For the second time in months, the public has been treated to a TMI-moment courtesy of a sun-addled madman.  First there was the protein-drenched horror of Osama bin Laden’s Pakistani whack-shack, which forced a disgusted audience to envision the leader of the Evil Ones waging his own single-handed jihad upon the one-eyed infidel.  Now, the chaotic events in Libya have elevated the carnal cravings of another evil bastard into public view.  It seems that deranged sand-despot Muammar al-Gaddafi has a crush on a certain American gal.

Gaddafi Unsuccessfully Attempts To Lure Rice Into The Desert To Perform The Ancient Ritual Of The Three-Humped Camel.

Fleeing his compound ahead of blood-crazed rebels, Gaddafi was forced to abandon several objects of deep personal significance.  Among these was a stalker’s Bible in the form of a scrapbook filled with pictures of Stanford professor Condoleezza Rice, whom Gaddafi once called “my darling black African woman.”  The former US Secretary of State, who is very much available, declined to comment.

We're Not Sure Why The Tough, NFL-Loving Former Secretary Of State Is Unmarried At 56. Perhaps She Just Hasn't Met The Right Oil Despot Yet.

What’s In Carol Brady’s Panties?

29 Wednesday Jun 2011

Posted by in Celebrity, History, News, Politics

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By Smaktakula

Funny, All We Taste Is Shellfish.

Septuagenarian actress and former MILF Florence Henderson is back in the news with revelations that might have best been kept to herself.  In her forthcoming memoir, Life is not a Stage, the actress best known for playing ‘Carol Brady’ on The Brady Bunch and as a Wesson spokeswoman revealed that she’d contracted crabs from a 1960’s one-night stand with then-NYC mayor, John Lindsay.

Lindsay Discovers To His Horror That The Little Critters Don't Confine Themselves To The Nether-Regions; They Get In Your Hair, Too.

Henderson waited to tell her story until after both Lindsay and his wife (to whom the politician was married at the time of the affair) were dead.  However, for good or ill, the public perception of Henderson has changed forever  From this point on it will be difficult to look at “America’s TV Mom” in quite the same way.  In fact, it may be impossible to think about her without feeling a disquieting itch just south of your belt buckle.

Here's The Story Of The Crab O'Grady, Who Was Hiding In Some Very Lovely Curls.

Wretched ‘Bachelorette’ Contestant Wishes He Had Just Said “I’m Prompt”

26 Wednesday May 2010

Posted by in Culture, Duh, General Foolishness, Humor, People, Reality Television, Relationships, Social Networking, Television

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In a dark and slightly moist basement somewhere, Rolando “Cashew Dick” Negrin is jumping for joy.    The TSA worker and his stunted penis have done their time in the barrel, and are now free to slink off into blessed anonymity.  With a single request, “Shooter,” a contestant on TV’s The Bachelorette, catapulted himself from obscurity to become America’s newest and most exciting target of ridicule.   

“Ask me about my nickname,” Shooter urges the Bachelorette, hilariously ignorant of the humiliation tsunami he has set in motion, which comes crashing down upon him just a few minutes later.    

No, It's Not Because I'm A Good Golfer

Hey!  Wanna Hear Why They Call Me Guy Who Once Had Sex With A Chicken?  It’s Kinda Embarrassing: The Bachelorette Meets Shooter, the Man With the Saddest Nickname Backstory Ever — Vulture.