, , , , , , , ,

By Smaktakula
Harpy Eagle (Harpia harpyja)

The Hardest Part Of The Harpy Eagle Conservation Effort Is Getting Them To Spend Their Relief Checks On Something Other Than Malt Liquor And Lottery Tickets.

Pity the harpy eagle.  Although considered the largest and most powerful predatory bird in the Americas, the harpy eagle is the underachiever of the raptor world.  Like the bald eagle, its more successful cousin who has enjoyed a better than two-hundred year run as the spokesanimal for the United States of America, or the golden eagle of Mexico, the harpy eagle also works as a national mascot.  Sadly, the harpy eagle’s best option was a position with Panama, which in addition to being a type of hat is apparently a country in Central America important as a maritime trade route.

Eagle v. Bear

The Bald Eagle Just Sets His Sights A Little Higher.

Despite the inherent badassery in being a big, tough eagle, the harpy continues to embarrass its predatory brethren through sub-par achievement.  Perhaps most telling about this slacker apex predator is its choice of diet.  How tough can the bird be when among its primary food sources are the worlds stupidest and slowest mammals respectively?–the opossum, that cowardly night-skulker, and the sloth, nature’s evolutionary doorstop.

Catching A Sloth Requires Less Work Than Catching A Cold.

Fuck Yeah!