Tags
abstinence, death by homicidal maniac, Friday the 13th, hockey mask, Jason Voorhees, pickled eggs, promiscuity, prudery, sex=death, slasher flicks, true meanings of holidays
By Smaktakula
Much Like Cookies For Santa, Good Boys And Girls Leave Out A Plate Of Pickled Eggs For Jason.
Spare some time from your busy schedule today to reflect upon the true meaning of Friday the 13th, on which the vengeful spirit of Jason Voorhees crawls from its unquiet grave to once again walk the earth, dismembering oversexed teenagers in strange and novel ways to remind a desperate world that abstinence is still the best policy.
Remember Kids: Sex Kills.
Promethean Times 
My girlfriend greets me on any Friday the 13th morning with a, “Babe, let’s go hack up some Fornicators!”
So what happened next? Please, provide details.