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By Smaktakula

A Lot Like Mt. Rushmore, If Abe Lincoln Were Able To Puke Up A Bellyful Blood On Command.

In the years since the cacophonous guns of the Western Front fell silent on November 11th, 1918, ending the ‘War to End All Wars,’¹ humanity has sought to mark this anniversary by paying tribute to those men and women who risk their lives in the service of their nations. For those of us who have lived our lives in the relatively prosperous and safe West, this is no more than what we should do.

On this special anniversary, called Veterans Day in America, we honor military personnel regardless of the their branch of service, not only our heroic warriors in the Army, Navy and Marines, but also dudes in the Air Force and Coast Guard. We are justifiably proud of this custom. Sadly, this honor is not applied equally: the public continues to ignore the many distinguished contributions of the KISS Army.

The KISS Army: In Terms Of Raw Firepower, The Rough Equivalent Of The Salvation Army.

The KISS Army was officially mobilized in January of 1975.  Formed to protect America’s shores from the from the insidious forces of lameness, the KA was instrumental in keeping at bay for many years the twin blights of disco and country-rock. For two generations the KISS Army has made the nation a place where a man or woman can rock & roll all night, and party every day.

Promethean Times believes that a soldier is a soldier, whether his c.v. includes Fallujah ’03 or the Grand Rapids Fairgrounds ’07.  The KISS Army marches to its own drummer, doing things differently from some of the other branches of the Service–its continuing observance of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ or its liberal drug policy, for example–but its members deserve the same recognition as do all those brave warriors who fight tirelessly for our freedom.

What Distinguishes It From The Real Army Is That You Can Do All The Drugs You Want, And You Won’t Get Your Ass Kicked For Wearing Makeup.


¹Although deemed ‘The War To End All Wars’ in a fit of misguided optimism, WWI proved unequal to the promise of that silly sobriquet ∞ T.