Tags
1918, Abraham Lincoln, Armistice Day, coast guard, Great War, KISS, KISS Army, Marines, United States Air Force, United States Army, United States of America, US Navy, World War One, WWI
By Smaktakula
A Lot Like Mt. Rushmore, If Abe Lincoln Were Able To Puke Up A Bellyful Blood On Command.
In the years since the cacophonous guns of the Western Front fell silent on November 11th, 1918, ending the ‘War to End All Wars,’¹ humanity has sought to mark this anniversary by paying tribute to those men and women who risk their lives in the service of their nations. For those of us who have lived our lives in the relatively prosperous and safe West, this is no more than what we should do.
On this special anniversary, called Veterans Day in America, we honor military personnel regardless of the their branch of service, not only our heroic warriors in the Army, Navy and Marines, but also dudes in the Air Force and Coast Guard. We are justifiably proud of this custom. Sadly, this honor is not applied equally: the public continues to ignore the many distinguished contributions of the KISS Army.
The KISS Army: In Terms Of Raw Firepower, The Rough Equivalent Of The Salvation Army.
The KISS Army was officially mobilized in January of 1975. Formed to protect America’s shores from the from the insidious forces of lameness, the KA was instrumental in keeping at bay for many years the twin blights of disco and country-rock. For two generations the KISS Army has made the nation a place where a man or woman can rock & roll all night, and party every day.
Promethean Times believes that a soldier is a soldier, whether his c.v. includes Fallujah ’03 or the Grand Rapids Fairgrounds ’07. The KISS Army marches to its own drummer, doing things differently from some of the other branches of the Service–its continuing observance of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ or its liberal drug policy, for example–but its members deserve the same recognition as do all those brave warriors who fight tirelessly for our freedom.
What Distinguishes It From The Real Army Is That You Can Do All The Drugs You Want, And You Won’t Get Your Ass Kicked For Wearing Makeup.
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Promethean Times 
HAHAHAHA! ROOOOOOOOCK OOOOOOOOON!!!
I Love It LOVE IT, RK!!!
Reblog?! YOU BET YER ASS!!! 😀
Thanks man–and happy Veterans Day.
You’re Welcome, And Thank You, Dude 🙂
Reblogged this on "You Jivin' Me, Turkey?" and commented:
Smak Does It Again! He Makes Me Giggle To The Point Of Near Urination… …TWICE!!! 😀
-B.
Personally, I always preferred the band, “Sweet.” Rock On!
Ah, a guilty pleasure–I never knew who did it, though. I had heretofore believed it was a child of the 80s.
I’ve never been into KISS as a band. When I was about seven, and I’d never heard their music, I thought they were the coolest thing imaginable. I heard all kinds of crazy rumors about Gene Simmons having super-powers (not the sexual kind that I heard about later). I thought they were the coolest thing. I didn’t actually hear their music much until about the time they took their makeup off, and that was anything BUT cool.
Oh man, I do not get Kiss. They’re not even laying their lives on the line to serve good Rock n Roll. It’s like sending over a baseball team to play the Welsh rugby team. It make no sense man.
Funny post though.
That baseball team would get its ass kicked.
I don’t get KISS either, in a musical sense. (although I do enjoy the song I quoted in the piece–the only KISS song I know at all, actually–in an abstract sort of way, like as a soundtrack for an era; I don’t actually own any of their music).
As I mentioned in a previous comment, as a little Smaktakula, I was enamored of their super-hero look, and rumors of semi-Satanic powers.
Thanks for the comment, Elliot!
I think that they look cool to a young person, but no-one wants to admit to actually owning any of their music says it all. I suppose, got to like the look if nothing else, although it does look a bit odd now they are so old.
Kiss was kind enough to grace Grand Forks, North Dakota with a concert when I was in college. I can still remember how the walls of my decrepit sleeping room shook from their noise while I tried to concentrate on my studies. And I lived a mile from the auditorium. Why wasn’t I in the audience, you wonder? I’ll let you decide.
Why wasn’t I in the audience, you wonder?
Because you were a grade-grubber who liked to research all night, and study ev-er-y day. That and good taste.
Also, you could’ve been thirty miles away and still bombarded by sound. There’s nothing on the Great Plains (which the Oglala called ‘The Land From Which the Gods Turn Their Faces) to stop the sound from travelling all the way to Chicago.
Also, once again I have learned something from you. I had always believed (and I’m being completely serious, but this functions well as a dig, so I’d appreciate it if you also took it that way) that Grand Forks was in Minnesota (I’m now squared on the whole Grand Forks-East Grand Forks thing). And it’s you people’s third biggest city! Gawrsh!
I hope you’re having fun on your book signing. I’ve been to New England at this time of year, and it can be rather chilly (if you’re from a climate in which people would want to live; you should be fine), but still very pretty and a nice change. I love long solo drives. Very energizing.
What I know about New Hampshire: 1) The further you get from the cities, the funnier they talk. 2) They have an inordinate amount of say in choosing potential presidential candidates. 3) They once had a congressman with the delightful name of Dick Swett.
Knock ’em dead at the signing. May you be the literary equivalent of an extinction event.
Well, I was not the “literary equivalent of an extinction event,” but it still went okay. I’ll post about it Thursday. And surprisingly, New Hampshire’s weather was decent. In fact, it was in the 60s and sunny my entire drive home yesterday, which sucked in that I missed out on it but was good because I didn’t have to drive through blinding storm conditions. I, too, love driving. Very freeing.
And you are right on both reasons why I didn’t attend the Kiss concert. As for the “Land From Which the Gods Turn Their Faces” comment? Gave me my best laugh today, both for its humor and for its accuracy…
Though I was never in the ‘Army’, I will admit to seeing Kiss…once. I didn’t pay or anything. I was just hanging around outside when a group of local trouble-makers decided to rush the entrance. I was completely innocent, of course, got caught up in the flow and the next thing I knew I was inside the mega-stadium. Oh, and I did have to preform a quite spectacular jump down to the ground level to escape that one lame ass security dude who despite having nearly two dozen door-rushing targets to choose from decided to hone in on me. I’m pretty sure he thought he had boxed me and that I wouldn’t have the balls to jump….he had no idea that I fully intended to rock and roll all fucking night, and part of every day, because the next day I was in serious pain.
No.No.No. Kiss was Bad~ass!
I salute them!
I never really got into Kiss a whole lot- to me it was all about the makeup and the pyrotechnics but not much else. Their music is what a cheap frozen dinner is to food- edible- it’s better than country or rap, but IMHO nothing to get excited about.
I got to listen to Kiss a lot though. I had to baby-sit a kid who lived, breathed, dressed like when he could get away with it, and pretty much believed he was Ace Frehley. This guy is at least 35 today but I’d bet he’s still a card carrying member of the Kiss Army- rocking and rolling all night and partying every day. As for me, when I want metal (and I do appreciate old-school metal) I generally reach for some Metallica.
Only when all of their music has been transcribed for duet by accordion/sitar will there be piece in teh rock-o-sphere.