Tags
consequences, Girl Next Door, hooker with a heart of gold, insurance professionals, it's a cold sore!, Lake Havasu, Progressive Flo, Progressive Insurance, Spring Break, the crabs, VD, women of easy virtue
By Smaktakula
We get it–she’s a kooky-but-sexy, hard-partying minx with just a hint of the Girl Next Door, a kind-hearted, wise-cracking goodtimes gal who is equal parts insurance professional, therapist and naughty nurse. But seriously, could Progressive have found a spokesperson who looks any more like the chick who gave you the crabs that one time during Spring Break at Lake Havasu?
“At First You Think The Itch Will Drive You Crazy. But I Guess You Get Used To Anything After A While.”
Promethean Times 
It’s a cold sore! is among the top tags I’ve yet to see.
Do you think her hair is in that big bun to hide the skull suppurations of her skull from the syphilis?
Now I do! And can I say that your use of the awesome word ‘suppurations’ was the cherry which completes that deliciously disgusting sundae of a sentence.
Well, apparently the company chose wisely. They got a blog post about her on Promethean Times. Isn’t that the true marker of success?
By the way, love the “a new-age feminine hygiene product” line.
Thank you! And yes, being featured in our fine publication is a highly-sought after plumb. Progressive made a surprising offer last night for the mention, and it seemed like an unbelievable deal. But this morning I awoke to an outbreak of regrets, and the burning sensation that I had acted rashly.
If that last sentence was a reference to a Herpes breakout, then very clever. If not, then I really need to clean my mind out. I blame your site.
I’m afraid it’s simply that you have a filthy mind. One thing you can count on with us, is that what we’re talking about is always exactly what we’re talking about!
Of course, how silly of me…
I laugh through the post…I laugh at your comments…You need to put up a disclaimer: You may hurt yourself from laughing here.
Well, the hurting part’s always been intended,actually, mostly due to our passive-aggressive nature.
She appears to be a typical spokes-hole. Progressive-Flo (sic) sounds like a stop and go and stop and go and stop and go and…. kind of flow. 😀
Ha ha! A pun after our own hearts.
She’s become an icon…. like the Gecko in Geico ads.
Although I still can’t get used to her hairstyle. It’s stiff, and not relaxing and pleasant to look at.
Yeah, I find her icky. The genesis of this post was my reaction when I see her on TV. Seriously, I just think: CRABS! CRABS! CRABS!
Um. Is this something you see on T.V?
I don’t have T.V, so I’m totally in the dark here.
[INSERT SAD FACE HERE]
If I could get everyone else to go along with me, I’d try to feed you some line about how “This is only THE most significant cultural phenomenon of our times! Where the hell have you been?” But sadly, that’s just not true. Yes, it is a TV thing–a commercial for an insurance company I would not recommend to my friends (and yes, I am a licensed insurance professional).
Good for you on no TV. I’d say that I don’t watch much TV (and I don’t–about 1.5-2 hours a week, and none in the last week), but that doesn’t mean much anymore, because it’s almost become a point of pride to say you don’t watch TV.
I tried to watch TV once, but it was playing Jersey Shore, followed by Teen Mom.
…
I am NEVER trying it again, and nobody else should either.
*shiver*
“Progressive Flo” sounds to me like some horrible menstrual disorder- going psycho during the monthly curse, like something out of “Carrie.” (for those of us old enough to remember that most disturbing Stephen King novel.)
Plug it up! I just listened to that novel read by Sissy Spaceck. Plug it up!