Celebrity Death Watch, death by a vengeful God, douchebaggery, Queen, rumors we wish were true, untalented stars, Vanilla Ice, Where Are They Now?, Why God? Why?
Fans of music and of culture in general were shocked by the news that tiresome rapper/plagiarist Vanilla Ice still lives. The music world had been abuzz in recent days over happy rumors that the grating space-waster had died, and will now have to come to grips with the realization that at 44 and in reasonably good health, the melanin-deficient fucknugget can stink up the nostalgia circuit for years to come. We can only pray that the day will come soon when the Almighty will tire of His cruel joke, and in delivering us from ‘Nilla, will ‘wax a chump like a candle.’