Potatoes, Perverts & Polygamists. That’s Pretty Much It.
Some time ago, komonews.com ran a pictorial featuring the mugshots of smiling Idahoans. Promethean Times is pleased to present the best of this cavalcade of mongoloids, in some cases with a little of the backstory.
This Is What Results When A Man Takes A Doberman Pincer As His Bride.
Damn! A Medium-Sized Child Could Squeeze Through That Thing.
Returns To Normal If Properly Hydrated.
No Stranger To Prison, This Guy Already Has A Swastika Tattooed On His Ass.
“There Are Those Who Say It Is Impossible To Eat A QP Of Medical Grade Weed In The Time It Takes A State Trooper To Approach Your Car, But I Am Living Proof That It Can Be Done.”
“Man, I Was Just A Passenger In The Car. So Why Am I Being Charged With Possession With Intent To Deal? Oh, Right. Fuck Idaho!”
No Need To Pity Her. This Is What Passes For Sexy In Idaho.
Regardless Of What She Did, This One Needs To Be Locked Away For A Long Time. Just Look At Her–She’s Got Crazy-Eyes!
With Some Folks, Everything About Them Screams “CHILD MOLESTER.”
Where Have We Seen That Before?
When The Bieber Madness Makes It To The Backwoods, Is There Any Hope For America?
“It Puts The Lotion On Its Skin, Or Else It Gets The Hose Again.”
Sometimes Celebrities Get Busted:
Norville “Shaggy” Rogers, Stoner Detective.
Methamphetamine Has Not Treated Miss Piggy Kindly.
Chris Farley: Not Dead After All. Prefers To Be Called Christine.
Luckily For You, Horses Are Not Considered Culpable For Crimes In Idaho. Now Trot On Home, Little Filly.
El Guapo said:
The circus came to town and liked it so much, it never left!
And then bred several successive generations!
Madame Weebles said:
The photo of that first chick should seriously come with a .wav file of the Psycho music.
Ha ha! You’re right. Although the odious “Yakketty Sax” (SP?) should play for the rest. That, and “Dueling Banjos.”
Madame Weebles said:
Ha! I was thinking of Dueling Banjos for at least one of the other ones! You know, it just seems so natural with those photos of Buford, Cletus, and Earl there.
I made the mistake of reading this while waiting for my son at his guitar lesson. Now everyone thinks I’m the crazy laughing lady. My mug will probably end up on a similar post of demented Ohioans. The Chris Farley one particularly set me off. Thanks so much…
Promethean Times is never a mistake. Not ever!
I liked them all, except for the two white folks who need a dentist. I can’t have a serious conversation with teeth.
I wish you hadn’t reminded me – “It puts the lotion on it’s skin…” I’m going to be sick…
I think it averages out so that the typical Idahoan has 29.8 teeth.
These are terrible Smaks on folks…I can’t quit laughin’…I’m gonna have to start praying every night you never find out where I live….
I’m pretty sure it’s Arkansas.
If I’m mistaken, that wasn’t a gag. It’s just that I’m fascinated by where people live and go about their day–I don’t mean specifically the street or even the neighborhood, but the city or the region. Even as a kid who hadn’t gone anywhere, I’d be fascinated by the places in books or comics–be they glamorous and cosmopolitan places or (and especially) places a little off the beaten path.
Anyway, I sometimes play detective, and from various clues in your posts, I was thinking you lived in Arkansas, specifically the Little Rock area. Please don’t feel that you have to confirm or deny this–it’s not my business, certainly (just my desire to vicariously experience other places). That’s just my conjecture.
What? It’s not like I told people you live in that Beige house on McLeary Lane.
Before I forget, it looks like one of the lights over your bathroom sink burned out.
Bronan the Barbarian! said:
You can always just look up the IP address when someone comments and find out where they’re posting from (unless they’re using a proxy or something). Skips the detective work so you can watch xxxtra episodes of Captain Planet.
Also 9/10 would bang for the Chris Farley transvestite
Has any of these people read your blog yet? I wonder how you’d caption me right now. Probably a number 3. Hahahahaha!