Tags
Africa, Catholic sex abuse scandal, childish sexual innuendo, death by pope, fanciful notions, headlines, holidays, Palm Sunday, pederasts, Pope Benedict XVI, Pope Francis
By Smaktakula
At Last! A Return To Blood Sacrifice!
In which we remark upon the headlines of articles we haven’t bothered to read, and pontificate upon a pontiff we know nothing about.¹
***
Pope Francis starts first full day as pontiff with prayer ~ He’s the fucking pope–he’s pretty much obligated to start EVERY day off like that.
Your Wife Must Be So Proud.
US Catholics want a younger, more liberal pope ~ Yeah, we’ll bet they do.
Survey: Africans ready for African Pope ~ Yeah, we’ll bet they are.
It’s Time for a Queer-Friendly Pope ~ Yeah, we’ll bet…oh, we get it now–you’re fucking with us. Good one! Our money’s on the African pope anyway.
There Is No Room In The Catholic Church For Homosexuality (Which We Strictly Interpret To Mean Sexual Relations Between Two Adult Males).
Pope’s Culture Club Masks Conclave Packed With Benedict’s Clones ~ Does this seem to you like a bunch of random words just sorta tossed together?
Which Catholic Church? ~ Ideally, the one that doesn’t bugger little boys.
Is the Catholic Church’s Future in Africa? ~ Unlikely. Africans aren’t any fonder of pederasty than anyone else.
Because Priests Like To Fu…You’re Right–We Should Have Stopped A While Ago. Apologies.
What Lies Ahead for Pope Benedict Post-Abdication ~ Pussy. Fathomless oceans of pussy stretching to the hither and yon, as far as the eye can see.
What? The Former Pope Is An Old Man, And It’s A Scientific Fact That Old People Like Cats. Real Mature, People.
Promethean Times 
Having been raised Catholic, I can’t say anything offensive here, because a nun might find me and hit my hand with a ruler. Though by the time I got to Catholic high school, mostly they were just into sarcasm and verbal abuse. That’s progress for you.
Being the youngest in my family, I was spared a Catholic grade school education. But I did hear stories. Beware of nuns wielding rulers!
I’m just relieved the whole thing is over. Showing cardinals entering the church ‘live’ on CNN for almost an hour is not my definition of riveting TV.
Smak, I had no idea that today was Palm Sunday until reading your post. Thank you for being my beacon on Catholicism.
Not a Catholic, however I love that kitty…. Is he yours…!?!
Lapsed Catholic in the house. I think the whole religion is a joke, however, if you get hired for a job you are obliged to fulfil the terms and conditions (in this case, such as praying) I believe. I wonder if he also has to do Papal exorcisms or is he above all that now.
In a few days, Jesus is going to wake up, have a brightly colored egg and some chocolate, look around, shke his head in disgust, and go right back to sleep.
But if he doesn’t see his shadow, maybe spring will finally show up in the northeast…
Good one Guapo!!!
I will treasure that comment as they whisk me off to hell, whitelady!
(that poor pissed off cat…I have seen him all around blogtown lately)….
Funny post, Smak!!! You always keep me laughing!
No, there isn’t room in the Catholic Church–the room’s next door where the priest lives. That was just too easy to write, but I feel guilty.
I was raised Catholic, but I have no use for the church. So many people I know say they’re Catholic, but they pick and choose the parts of dogma they want to believe and follow. Um, that’s probably not the way it was intended to work, folks. But at least they ignore the bits about birth control, the role of women, and turning a blind eye to abuse. I wish I could say the same about the hierarchy!
I’m just worried Pope Benedict’s gonna pull a Jay Leno and want to be pope again after a few months.
That’s just the kind of thing that could create the worst Papal schism since the early days of the Crusades. It’s beginning to smell a little like 1096.
For Constantinople and Christendom!