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Tag Archives: It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again

The REAL Reason Straight Guys Dig Lesbians

06 Sunday May 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

beer, cover 2 defense, dykes, fetishists, flogging the dolphin, gay people, homosexuality, It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again, Jodie Foster, lesbian sex, lesbians, lipstick lesbians, Lovie Smith, onanism, pork rinds, Portia de Rossi, Rachel Maddow, self-abuse, sex, Silence of the Lambs, spankin' it, sticky keyboards, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tony Dungy, We would shoot *** ********* for Jodie Foster!

By Smaktakula

As sticky keyboards across the globe will attest, some guys have a thing for lesbians–or more properly, for lesbian sex.  These imaginative fetishists notwithstanding, the supposed sexual fixation straight men are said to have with the bedroom goings-on of gay chicks is largely a media creation. However, the affection many straight males feel for gay women is often underestimated, and goes well beyond mental spank flicks involving silicon-swollen lipstick lesbians.

The thought of Portia de Rossi-DeGeneres groping a Silence of the Lambs-era Jodie Foster is titillating for the 75-90 seconds it takes to shake loose such thoughts. Remaining in their stead is a clear-headed appraisal of the myriad reasons to like lesbians, not least because of their many dude-like qualities.

“Are You Deaf Or Just Stupid? I Didn’t Say Lovie Smith *Created* The Cover 2 Defense. But C’Mon, He Was The Fucking Linebackers Coach For Tampa Bay During The Dungy Era. You’re A Moron If You Think He Wasn’t A Big Part Of That.”

Hey guys, that was Mick on the phone–she and Chris are on their way with beer and pork rinds. ∞ T.

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