Tags
Charles Manson, childish sexual innuendo, China, free mustache rides, free stuff, Free Tibet!, helpful hints, herpes, Smaktakula's distrust of short people, the best things in life are free, Tibet
By Smaktakula
We Certainly Wouldn't Pay Good Money For A Diminutive, Messianic Madman, But We'd Be Fools To Pass Up This Deal.
Folks love to tell you that “the best things in life are free.” There has never been a time when these words were true, and never less so than today. Those who chose to repeat this old canard willfully ignore that even essential items cost money, and that about the only things which still remain free are your first month of service, unsolicited advice and herpes.
This Ad May Be In Error. Last We Heard, China Was Never Going To Give Up Tibet.
Is There ANYBODY Who Thinks This Is A Good Deal?
It Had Better Be Free. We've Never Paid For Pussy In Our Lives.
Promethean Times 
Oh. My.
Should I comment about the post?
Or about the new look and feel of your blog, which makes me want to pay you rent, somehow?
CoF
I’m insecure enough that I crave praise (it was praise you were thinking of offering, right? I mean, what else could it be?) for anything I do. Also, my whorelike nature makes me want to accept rent payments from you.
I can do Paypal.
CoF
I’d like a free range please.
But then I suppose I’ll have to pay for the chicken…
Either you pay for the chick outright or you spend the same amount and even more time wining & dining her. You can’t win.
I was going to bring up the small matter of self respect in relation to item one… but perhaps that’s not so amongst the fraternity, perhaps you look down on each other for springing for the food and booze 🙂
Well, reading your blog is free. And that’s a pretty good deal!
I thought nothing could disgust me more than the mustache sign. Until I saw the free cat sign. Well done.
Thank you! Personally, I find the mustache sign more creepy as it evokes images of 70s machismo, which becomes more ridiculous with each passing year. As awful as the cat thing is–it’s creative. I wonder if somebody came up with that idea on the spot, or if they had the idea and said, “Okay, next time I see a dead cat, I’m putting a sign up?”
Oh, as always, thanks for a laugh-out-loud. 🙂
You’re very welcome–heaven knows laughter is a good thing!
Hahahaha, that last one, CTFU! Liking the new banner at the top too, apparently Charlie is coming back to 2 1/2 Men as a ghost soon… played by Kathy Bates 🙂 http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/charlie-sheen-replaced-again-on-two-and-a-half-men-this-time-by–kathy-bates/2012/03/20/gIQADKtHQS_story.html
I’ve never had any interest in that show, and while this news doesn’t change that, it’s undoubtedly the coolest thing I’ve yet heard in reference to that televised train wreck.
Thanks, C&S!
I’ve heard it been said….you get what you pay for. I imagine this is especially true for Free Mustache Rides.
Aww, free cat….that’s awful! Why the hell did someone take the time to make that sign?
The worst for me is free desk calendars. I have NEVER used an official calendar, but SURE, giving me one will make me way more interested in your product…
I was about to agree 100%, but then I remembered a few years ago when a client gave me a really nice North Dakota calendar which I used for the year. Does that count? It’s not exactly a product, but it is blatant ND propaganda.
Also, a buddy of mine sends out a magnetic calendar with a pic of his family that sits on our fridge all year.
Thanks, Rai!