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Tag Archives: Johnny Law

Helpful Hints For Everyday Life: Legal Education

13 Wednesday Jun 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Stupidity

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Arizona, California, cops, helpful hints, Johnny Law, police officers, poor judgement, Yosemite

By Smaktakula

It Can Sometimes Be Helpful To Remember That Not Every Situation Is An Ideal Forum For Your Rapier-Keen Wit.

Sometimes, when Johnny Law pulls over an out-of-state driver for one of a variety of offenses such as speeding or gun-running, he likes to preface his presentation of the offense by professing ignorance to the legality of the issue in the arrestee’s home state. For example, “Son, I don’t know how they do things in Arizona, but hit and run is against the law in California.”*

The outcome of the encounter will largely be determined by the first words out of your mouth. It is therefore a bad idea to say, “Really? You didn’t know that striking something with your vehicle and then fleeing the scene is illegal pretty much everywhere in the world that they have laws?”

The officer will not appreciate your helpfulness.

*This profession of ignorance is the verbatim statement of a police officer in Yosemite, California.  ∞T.

Promethean Short Short Stories: Singlewide Symphony

23 Friday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Culture, Literature, People, Promethean Short Short Stories, Relationships

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

cops, Crime, flash fiction, Johnny Law, Jose Cuervo, living in squalor, police, Promethean Short Short Stories, Single Wide trailers, trailer parks, trailer trash

By Smaktakula

Heather sat outside on a chaise in deep sweating darkness, keeping company with her old friend Jose Cuervo.  Occasionally she slapped at the mosquitoes orbiting her thighs, which shone from under cutoff Levis like marble in the moonlight.

Travis couldn’t meet her eyes when he finally returned home reeking of engine oil and bad business.   

Not long after, she saw lights in the distance, watching them grow for a long time before the police cruiser arrived, wishing all her troubles could be so overt and so slow in coming.

Red and blue strobes lent the trailer a beauty she didn’t understand except that it reminded her of Christmas. 

Her heart broke a little watching them recede.

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