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Category Archives: Relationships

Revealed: Why John Adams Became President

02 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, General Foolishness, History, Holiday, Humor, Mythology, National Events, National Politics, People, Politics, Relationships, Satire

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

guitar, Independence Day, John Adams, July 2nd, July 4th, lame presidents, marketable skills, President Adams, Samuel Adams, shitty psychics, Thomas Jefferson

By Smaktakula

1) He couldn’t play guitar.

2) Unlike his cousin Sam, a successful brewer to this day, he had no marketable skills.

3) His career as a psychic proved a bust when he made well-publicized but shitty predictions like this one:

The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival.*

A Lack Of Real Options Forced The Presidency Upon Him.

*Thomas Jefferson’s response: “Have fun at your ‘July 2nd’ party, loser!  See the rest of y’all on Sunday.  Bring chicks.”

This Day In History: July 2, 1776 CE

02 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History, Holiday, Mythology, National Events, People, Relationships, Social Networking

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

1776, all men are created equal, Declaration of Independence, Founding Fathers, Great Britain, Independence Day, John Hancock, July 2nd, July 4th, King George III, liberty, Liberty Hall, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Redcoats, taxation without representation, this day in history, Thomas Jefferson, United States of America

On which the Founding Fathers tell the tyrant King George III what he can do with his onerous taxes and hated Redcoats.

“Brothers, Let These Words Ring Out Not Only Across A Grateful Nation, But Also May They Resound Throughout Almighty Posterity Itself: Because In Signing This, We Are Good And Truly Fucked.”

Careless Boy’s Mother Ruins A Good Thing

03 Friday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Constitutional Issues, Crime, General Foolishness, National Events, North America, People, Relationships, Scandal, Social Networking

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

California, Christine Shreeve Hubbs, coming of age, Coo Coo Ca-Choo!, cougars, double standards, hot sex offenders, molestation, Mrs. Robinson, nice job Mom, sex and firearms, sexual predators, skankery, Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding, The Graduate

By Smaktakula

"Mrs. Robinson, You're Trying To Molest Me."

Livermore, California: A local skank faces 67 charges related to sexual acts with teenage boys.  Christine Shreeve Hubbs, 42, is said to have engaged in the scandalous behavior with two junior high school students, both in her home as well as in a motel. 

Hubbs is also facing several charges relating to contributing to the delinquency of a minor.  She is alleged to have purchased BB guns  for her two victims, and allowed them to perform “drive-bys” from the back of her moving Hummer.  The victims also add that Hubbs plied them with gift cards and cash.   

And Here's To You, Ms. Hubbs. Adolescent Boys Love You More Than You Will Ever Know. Coo Coo Ca-Choo!

As with all good things, this idyllic life of sex, easy cash and firearms was destined to end.  One of the boys was careless with his cell phone, which contained nude pictures of Hubbs.  The boy’s snooping mother found the pictures and called the police, who brought this charming coming-of-age story to an abrupt and frustrating end. 

How events might have unfolded differently if the boy’s father had stumbled across the phone before his mother can only be conjectured.          

Because Opportunities Like This Come Along So Frequently When You're Fourteen.

When am I gonna get over this?  I don’t know, Mom–How about NEVER?

Man, The Discovery Channel Really Pissed That Guy Off

02 Thursday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Corporate Culture, Crime, Critters, Culture, General Foolishness, Justice, National Events, North America, People, Relationships, Terrorism

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

assfaces who write manifestos, batshit crazy, crazy people, death by sniper, Discovery Channel, douchebaggery, environmentalism, James Lee, James Lee was batshit crazy, loveless loners, Old Yeller, Shark Week, Terrorism

By Smaktakula

Self-loathing nutjob James Lee stormed into the Discovery Channel offices Wednesday looking for justice.  Instead, the environmental radical bumbled his way into a delicious pile of irony.

Lee’s apparent purpose was to serve as a sort of homicidal spokesperson for nature.  The police obliged by shooting him down like a dog.

"Another Thing: Why Can't We Have 52 Weeks Of SHARK WEEK?" We Hear You, Brother.

Bonus: There’s one less nasty human messing up the planet.  Way to take one for the team, Jim!

Jimmy Carter Makes Modest Headway In Ongoing Bid For Historical Relevance

31 Tuesday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Asia, Crime, History, International Relations, Justice, National Events, People, Politics, Relationships, World Affairs

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Aijalon Gomes, Bill Clinton, Bill vs. Jimmy, comical despots, do-gooders, Euna Lee, Habitat For Humanity, historical footnote, historical footnotes, hostages freed, I just called 'em both 'LingLee.', ineffectual presidents, Jimmy Carter, Kim Jong-il, Laura Ling, North Korea, one-termers, President Carter, President Clinton, skonks, Slick Willy

By Smaktakula

Historical footnote Jimmy Carter has managed to secure the release of Aijalon Gomes from North Korea.  Gomes had been sentenced to eight years hard labor under the autocratic regime of the dying, but still comically despotic Kim Jong-il.

Showing America's Soft Underbelly To Her Enemies Didn't Do It, And Building Houses For The Needy Didn't Do It Either. Perhaps Freeing A Few Hostages Will Help Erase The Stigma Of Being An Ineffectual One-Termer.

Although Carter is unable to claim to be the first white-haired Democratic Ex-President to secure the release of American hostages in North Korea, he is proud to say that he is the first not to bang them on the plane ride home.

"One Was Named Lee And The Other Ling, But I'll Tell You What, Brother--I Was Damned If I Could Tell The Difference!"

Feud With Manson Family Now Officially A ‘Beef’

30 Monday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Culture, Drug Culture, General Foolishness, Music, Mythology, People, Prison Culture, Relationships, Social Networking

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Abigail Folger, California, Charles Manson, Charlie, Charlie Manson is batshit crazy, comical spelling errors, Corcoran State Prison, crazy fucker, crazy people, cult leaders, Helter Skelter, Irene Folstrom, Manson Family, mass murderers, mental illness, Tate-Labianca Murders

By Smaktakula

Charles Manson: Believes He Has Been Unfairly Depicted As Some Kind Of Lunatic.

Corcoran State Prison, California:  Messianic fantasist Charles Manson is said to be upset with website Promethean Times over some material which appeared on the site.  On August 17th, Promethean Times published an article entitled Helpful Hints For Everyday Life: Family Matters, in which Manson was depicted as interpreting a message from the Beatles to mean that one of his followers, or “Family,” should prepare a sandwich for the deranged cult leader.                                   

Manson released the following statement late yesterday:                                    

People talk about Charlie Manson all the time.  They love to talk, talk, talk–and this dude with the ridiculous name ain’t no different.  But let Uncle Charlie share some wisdom with you and clear some things right up:  Charlie is like a dark sun, and his light shines on you, Baby!                                   

Man, it don’t matter how safe you think you are ’cause Charlie’s in here and you’re out there, but already my people walk among you, Piggies.                                

Smaktakula is dead!  He’s dead and doesn’t even know it yet, man!  He was dead yesterday.  He was dead before his parents met–before time began.                     

The people got to learn–they got to learn what happens when you tell lies about Charlie Manson.                               

Okay, in the first place, Charlie doesn’t even like the Beatles.  Man, I don’t know how many times . . .                                    

(Edited for length)                                    

This is the second instance in which Promethean Times and the Manson Family have crossed paths.  The first, an insipid joke juxtaposing Manson Family victim Abigail Folger with Tiger Woods’ former girlfriend Irene Folstrom, is considered something of a nonincident.  The vast majority of Promethean Times readers either missed the joke or didn’t get it.  The 5 readers who got it were in complete accord, finding it hugely unfunny.                         

We Suggest Charlie Carve This Into His Forehead.

From his the security of his vast and well-appointed estate somewhere in North America, Smaktakula said:                                   

We were notified of Mr. Manson’s threats earlier this afternoon by officials at Corcoran.  Smaktakula and the Promethean Times’ staff want to let our readers know that we refused to dignify the spittle-flecked ravings of a sun-starved old man whose formerly shocking excesses have been rendered prosaic by the increasing horrors of the ensuing four decades.                                 

These threats are more pathetic than frightening.  Mr. Manson’s ominous tales about the legions of fanatical acolytes waiting on the master’s word to rise up and begin the great killing are somewhat dubious, when after forty years he still he can’t spell ‘Helter Skelter’ correctly.  That’s right Charlie–it’s got no A in it.  The excess was no doubt due to you already being a complete A-Hole.                       

So, while we are certainly flattered by the attention, we doubt that any morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr           

death to piggies

healter skelter

                     

goddamnit…still….spelling…it…wro

…
Tell Facebook To Bring You A Sandwich

Skanks In The Crosshairs, Part II: The War To End All Whores

27 Friday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Constitutional Issues, Crime, Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, Human Rights, Justice, National Events, North America, People, Relationships, Satire, Social Networking

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, celebriskanks, childish sexual innuendo, David Gregory, did you see that thing about herpes--she really is a slut, Hobegon, Horn Dog Deomocrats, Joe Biden, John McCain, Meet The Press, Nicole Polizzi, Obama Administration, Obama's war on skanks, PPD 24601, President Obama, Presidential Policy Directive, pro-skank Democrats, Robert Gibbs, Sir Let Us Tan!, skankery, skankism, skanks, skin cancer, skonks, Snooki, Snooki's arrest, tanning, the beach ball problem at Chavez Ravine, United States of America, untalented stars, Vice President Biden, what IS the singular of Cheetos?

By Smaktakula

After issuing a string of denials over the past several weeks, the White House abruptly reversed itself yesterday, admitting the existence of Presidential Policy Directive 24601.  This admission ends the mounting speculation regarding the anti-skank directive, dubbed ‘Hobegon‘ by some in the press.  The White House claims that Hobegon codifies America’s foreign and domestic policy with regard to skanks.  It does that, and more: PPD 24601 is nothing less than a declaration of war on hos.

"Let Me Be Clear: I See An America--One That Can Only Be Achieved By Rising Above Partisan Rhetoric And Red-State/Blue-State Name Calling--An America Once Again Setting An Example For Other Nations By Helping To Create--Not Only For Our Children And The World's Children, But Also The Many Children Yet Unborn--A World That Is Free Of Skanks."

“This is something about which the President feels very strongly,” White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said in a press conference this morning.  “He has two daughters of his own, and like so many American parents right now, he’s concerned about the type of world that little Sasha and Malia will find waiting for them when they grow up.”

This sudden admission surprised most political observers, and apparently some within the Executive Circle.  Last Sunday on Meet The Press, the Vice-President said, “If there is {the secret Hobegon document}, they sure haven’t shown it to Joe Biden.”  He went on to add, “I mean, who doesn’t like tramps, am I right?” at which point the Vice-President attempted to high-five David Gregory.  Biden apologized for the comments just a few hours later after meeting privately with the President.  What the Vice-President was denying less than a week ago is now official US policy.

The impetus for the Administration’s abrupt about-face appears to be a series of events which drove the media into such a speculative frenzy that it became necessary to make some details of the secret directive public.  One of the events which set this chain in motion were widely publicized comments made by reality tv grotesquery Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi.  The celebriskank fired a volley across the Administration’s bow when she said,   “I don’t go tanning anymore, because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning, and I feel he did that intentionally for us.”

Largely derided at the time, the enigmatic Snooki now appears to be something of a Cassandra.  Even her foes are beginning to wonder if the talking party ball is shrewder than she appears, given that anti-tanning initiatives are part of Obama’s War on Skanks.  Snooki went on to note that Obama’s 2008 Rival John McCain would not have applied the tax, “Because he’s pale and would probably want to be tan.”

Unlike Virtually Every Other Political Position Which He Has Taken Over The Years, Senator McCain's Staunch Support Of Skanks Has Never Wavered.

McCain’s unfortunate history of skin cancer aside, this insight is trenchant.  The Arizona Republican has long been staunchly, if quietly, pro-skank.   Throughout the 20th Century, support for ladies of easy virtue blurred party lines, but since the 2000 presidential election has become increasingly divided among partisan lines, with Republicans generally opposing anti-skank legislation.   Bill Clinton was the last pro-skank Democrat to hold a statewide office or higher.  The promising young cadre of pro-skank Democrats (“Horn Dog Democrats”) who swept into office with Clinton in 1992 are long gone.

Initially the White House attempted to shrug off Snooki’s charges, labelling them, “Laughable” and “Not worth dignifying.”  However, as with so many Washington scandals, the further the administration tried to distance themselves from it, the more tenaciously the rumors clung.

The situation reached critical mass when Snooki was arrested on July 30th.  Wearing a T-Shirt which read SLUT (Sir, Let Us Tan!) in protest of the effort to tax tanning beyond the means of the average tramp, which she calls skankist, Snooki was seen being led away by police.  The official account claims that the plump strumpet was drunk and out of control.

Dodger Stadium Security Removes Another Beach Ball From The Field.

Not so, counters Snooki:

“Oh. My. God.  Oh my God, I can’t believe they said that.  That’s–I’ma fucking sue them, I swear to God I will–That’s such a lie!  Can I tell you?  Can I tell you how much of a fucking lie that is?  That is not true.  Anybody who knows me–my good friends who know me, not the haters–knows that is just not true.”

“I’m a political prisoner.  They’re trying to shut me up.”

The Political Cost Of Looking Like A Soggy Cheeto.

Since then, Skanks have been notable for their absence.  “Laying low,” was how one observer termed it.  Because of summer reruns and the ubiquity of archived material on the internet, the American public has so far not been greatly affected by the self-imposed Skankout.  It has been pointed out that had this Skankout occurred during the school year, its presence might have been felt more profoundly in a reduction in the number of hot female teachers sleeping with their seventh-grade students.

But because those people passionate about skank rights would not be silenced, the ensuing e-storm would force the beleaguered administration to admit the existence of PPD 24601.   President Obama promised the nation that “further details will be will be made available in the coming days.”

Coming Soon: GO HO GO!

Things Worth Hoping For: Bert and Ernie

26 Thursday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Critters, Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, Humor, People, Relationships, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Bert, Bert & Ernie, Bert is the man, celebrity breakups, Celebrity Death Watch, celebrity deaths, domestic violence, Ernie, firearm-related homicides, good manners, muppet-on-muppet violence, murder, proper behavior, Sesame Street, spousal abuse, the love which dare not speak its name

By Smaktakula

Even love has its limits.  How much longer can Bert endure Ernie’s unending cavalcade of tedious bullshit?   

Because Playing The Drums At 2 AM When Your Lover Is Trying To Sleep Is Very Rude, Ernie. Very, Very Rude.

Skanks In The Crosshairs, Part I: Twilight Of The Strumpets

25 Wednesday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Constitutional Issues, Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, Justice, Music, National Events, North America, People, Reality Television, Relationships, Scandal, Social Networking, Television

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

21st Century, AIDS, American Freedoms, anti-skank bigotry, Barack Obama, bigotry, Brazil, Britney Spears, Canada, celebriskanks, China, Co-Ed Sex Tryouts, crazy bald Britney, death by stoning, Europe, Flower of American Skankhood, Girls Gone Wild, India, intolerance, Joe Francis, Kim Kardashian, Lawrence Fishburne, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, man-skanks, Mary Kay Letourneau, Montana Fishburne, Nicole Ritchie, Obama Administration, Obama's war on skanks, Paris Hilton, prudery, sex tape, Sexual Revolution, Shannon Elizabeth, skankery, skankism, skanks, skonkery, skonks, straight-to-DVD, Tara Reid, Thailand, United States of America, Vili Fualaau

By Smaktakula

Flower of American Skankhood: LiLo Mimes Fellatio For An Approving Audience.

The 21st Century promises to be a cold one for women of easy virtue.  Harlots, hos, sluts, wayward girls, hussies (both brazen and wanton), tramps, Run-Around Sues, bad girls, seductresses, chickenheads, homewreckers, libertines, gold diggers, skanks, loose women, hose-monsters, skeezers, camp tramps, tarts, women of ill repute and those of low moral fibre, free love enthusiasts, Sybarites, Jezebels, bimbos, wenches bawdy and tawdry, fuck buddies, the wrong sort, your friend’s cousin Sarah with the lazy eye, floozies, Lolitas, cougars, girls who you know, groupies, mattress backs, sure things, women named for places or emotions, hootchies, friends with benefits, supafreaks, poxy lasses, demimondes, succubi, skags, slags, vamps, the girl your mother warned you about and even the occasional adulteress have suddenly found themselves very much alone.

The Hard Part Isn't Someday Telling Your Children That You Participated In The Girls Gone Wild Co-Ed Sex Tryouts; It's Telling Them You Were Voted MVP Three Years Running.

It wasn’t always like this. Not so long ago tramps were a beloved, if not respected, part of the national social fabric.  During the Sexual Revolution, strumpetry gained such a seemingly intractable foothold within Western culture that it appeared nothing–not even the AIDS virus–could stop it.

Forty short years later the world is a very different place.  Awash in a wave of anti-skank sentiment, many countries are taking extreme measures to eliminate skankery altogether.  India’s reputation for anti-skank bigotry–or skankism— is well-deserved.  But the world hears little about skank repression in countries like China, where it is rumored that hos are forced to live in squalid re-education centers; or Iran, where strumpetry is punishable by stoning in some cases.

Today the United States and Canada, Eastern Europe and Thailand, are the last bastions of skankery.  But even in these once-safe havens, it appears time is running out.  In the United States, skankhood–long considered a cherished freedom by Americans–is facing a relentless attack.

FACT: How You View This Relationship Depends Upon Your Gender.

Not long ago, lifting up your shirt for a sweaty asshole with a camera would net you a shitty T-Shirt and enough self-loathing to last a lifetime.  Now you only get the shame.

Circa 2006, a strategically released sex-tape was the best shot at success for moderately-to-very attractive but talentless ‘actresses.’  One has only to remember the meteoric rise to vacuous stardom of Hilton and Kim Kardashian after their sex tapes were released.  But times have changed.  Recently, when tiresome jackass Lawrence Fishburne’s daughter Montana attempted to gain publicity for her own intentionally released sex tape, she was given the cold shoulder by the press.  The media sources all cited the usual reasons for the snub–questionable values, poor production and a complete lack of interest from the public due to Montana’s negligible body of work, etc.–but many feel that skankism is the cause.

Every Time Smaktakula Has Been In Paris He Has Quickly Regretted The Experience: It is Filthy, Pungent And Remarkable For Its Lack Of Native English-Speakers.

Skank arrests in the United States have more than quadrupled in the last few years.  Among the more high-profile busts are such celebriskanks as Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie, or skank males–better known as skonks, such as oily pornographer, Joe Francis.  Fearing for their safety, many skanks have gone underground.  Others, such as actresses Lindsay Lohan, Tara Reid and Shannon Elizabeth have pledged only to appear in  no-budget straight-to-DVD productions until they are destigmatized.  Britney Spears famously cut off her hair in protest.

Sorry Britney: Folks Just Aren't That Into Crazy Bald Chicks. Elton John Is The Exception Which Proves The Rule.

Will strumpets, tramps and hos become a nostalgic relic of yesteryear America, like the mighty buffalo which once covered the Great Plains?  If the Obama Administration gets its way, the answer is yes.  The Obama Administration has made it a top priority to end Skankism in the United States by 2024, with a broader goal of stamping out skankism world-wide by 2040.

Coming Soon: Obama v. Snooki

The Skonk

23 Monday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Cinema, Culture, General Foolishness, Health, Hollywood, People, Political Correctness, Reality Television, Relationships, Scandal, Television

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Abraham Lincoln, Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Barack Obama, Big Bird, Bill Clinton, Bill O'Reilly, Bush 41, Bush 43, Colin Farrell, crabs, David Letterman, Eddie Murphy, Elmo, FDR, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Fred, George Herbert Walker Bush, George W. Bush, herpes, heterosexuality, homosexuality, J. Robert Oppenheimer, jackassery, James Bond, John F. Kennedy, John Lennon, Johnny Depp, Karl Marx, Keith Richards, man-skanks, man-whores, Mick Jagger, misconceptions regarding skanks, Mohandas Gandhi, Morrissey, Napoleon Bonaparte, Pat Sajak, Paul McCartney, People Magazine, Richard M. Nixon, Russell Crowe, Sherlock Holmes, skankery, skanks, Skanks in the Crosshairs, skonk, skonkery, skonks, Slick Willy, STDs, Stephen Morrissey, tabloids, Thomas Jefferson, W, whoredom, William Henry Harrison, William Jefferson Clinton, William McKinley, Woodrow Wilson, Woody Allen, you got a real purty mouth

By Smaktakula

In preparation for our upcoming multi-part investigative series on modern whoredom, Skanks In The Crosshairs, the Promethean Times Research Staff spent hundreds of man-hours reading tabloids, clipping articles from old issues of People Magazine we’d liberated from dentists’ offices, and lots of solitary time in the screening room.  The benefits of this research exceeded our initially modest expectations.  Immersion into the tawdry world of skandom produced a wealth of data, which when put in proper context revealed a number of generally held misconceptions regarding skanks as a whole.

Perhaps no subject in all of skandom is more misunderstood and veiled in half-truths than that of male skanks, or skonks.  Ironically, almost two-thirds of the respondents in a Promethean Times survey characterized themselves as “somewhat knowledgeable” to “very knowledgeable” about skonks.  A chasm exists between what is commonly known about skonks and what is believed to be known.  Perhaps it is in that gulf that the skonk will reveal himself.

Johnny Depp: His Skonk Oil Is Worth Millions.

Firstly, the popular notion that skanks outnumber skonks is a complete falsehood.  In fact, skonks outnumber skanks at a 2:1 ratio, even after accounting for the numerical differences between the male and female population.  It is perhaps because of this very ubiquity that the media tends to focus its attention on skanks rather than skonks.

This information also debunks the myth that skonks make up only a small percentage of all males.  The consensus among experts is that well over half of all men are skonks, with a majority positing of 70-85% skonk saturation.  One reason this figure is so inexact is that unlike skanks who tend advertise their skankiness, a sizeable portion of skonks endeavor to keep their skonkitude hidden.

Nor are gay men immune to skonkitude.  In fact, it is believed that the percentage of skonks among gay men is far higher than among the population as a whole.  One expert, who places the figure somewhere around 97%, says, “It’s pretty hard to find a gay man who isn’t a skonk.”

Angel Of The Morning: Skonk Life Is Not All Sunshine And Giggles.

Some famous skonks and non-skonks:

Historical

Napoleon was a skonk; Hitler was not.

Secret Skonk: Gandhi

Great Minds

Oppenheimer wasn’t a skonk, but Einstein was.

Secret Skonk: Karl Marx

Film & Television

Colin Farrell, David Letterman, Russell Crowe, Eddie Murphy, Bill O’Reilly, Woody Allen and myriad more are skonks.  Pat Sajak and one or two others too obscure to name are not.

Secret Skonk: None

Music

Mick Jagger is a skonk; John Lennon was not.

Keith Richards is a skonk; Paul McCartney pretends to be a skonk.

Secret Skonk: Morrissey

Presidents of the United States of America

Presidents Jefferson, FDR, Kennedy, Clinton and several others were First Skonks.  Presidents Lincoln, McKinley, Wilson, Nixon, Bush (41) were not.

Barack Obama is not a skonk; George Bush (43) was a skonk in his youth, but has since reformed.

Secret Skonk: William Henry Harrison

"Damn, It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta."

Fictional Characters

James Bond is a skonk; Sherlock Holmes is not.

Elmo is a skonk; Big Bird is not.

Secret Skonk: Fred From Scooby Doo

Friends of Promethean Times

Charlie Sheen and Michael Murphy are skonks; Grigori Perelman and Rolando “Cashew Dick” Negrin are not.

The Haimster was a skonk; diminutive and dearly missed virgin Gary Coleman was not.

Secret Skonk: Kim Jong-il

"Hate The Game. Don't Hate The Praya."

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