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Africa, blood-drinking, butt naked, Christianity, crazy people, cross dressing, demonic possession, Devil, freeballing, Gen. Naked, General Butt Naked, General Junk All Hangin' Out, homophobia, human sacrifice, Joshua Blahyi, Liberia, mass murderers, massacre, militias, nakedness, not responsible by way of Satan, nudity, Sarpo, Truth and Reconciliation Commission, unfortunate nicknames, unpunished war criminals, warlords
By Smaktakula
In 1971, Joshua Blahyi’s parents christened him with a perfectly respectable name. But during the first Liberian Civil War of the early-1990s, the young Sarpo tribesman became better known as the infamous General Butt Naked.
That the name sounds reminiscent of a comic book super-villain is appropriate. According to his own testimony before Liberia’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, Gen. Naked and his forces slaughtered upwards of 20,000 people. While such a figure does not propel him to Hitlerian status, it does confirm his status as a free-swinging cock.
Which, perhaps not coincidentally is how Gen. Naked acquired his colorful nickname. Said to lead his troops clad in nothing but sneakers and an assault rifle, the freeballing guerilla struck fear in the hearts of his enemies.
His savagely loyal troops were often similarly non-attired. Sometimes they would dress in drag before their raids, presumably to strike extra fear within the hearts of any homophobes among their victims.
The General’s career began when he received a phone call from the devil at age 11. Backed by his infernal sponsor, Naked was soon a high priest among his tribe, practicing a fanatical polyglot Christianity which incorporated aspects of several local faiths. The warlord admitted to acts of child sacrifice and blood-drinking on the eve of battles.
General Butt Naked is reformed now, and works as an evangelical minister in Liberia. The General claims to feel “very bad, so bad” about his former crimes, but insists that as one possessed by the devil, he is not responsible for his actions. The nickname he keeps around as a sort of souvenir.