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Tag Archives: Christianity

Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: Keg-Stands With Jesus

10 Friday Aug 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in History, Religion

≈ 32 Comments

Tags

athiesm, Christ Crashers, Christianity, drugs, Evangelicals, house party, Jesus of Nazareth, raves, Tardsie's True-Ass Tales

By Tardsie

If Partying With The Lord Is Wrong, We Don’t Want To Be Right.

Growing up in a fundamentalist environment, you can bet I’ve seen a lot of proselytizing.  From missionaries converting the heathens in countries far and wide to In-N-Out’s Bible verse-emblazoned cups to the dude who used to treat football audiences to his home-made JOHN 3:16 sign. Some of these methods are overt, others sneaky. But not a one of them can match a membership drive so ballsy and innovative that I’m astounded I’ve not yet seen it repeated: Christ-Crashing.

Tardsie Can Sing This For You If You Like.

I like a nice house party. I’ve never really cared for big, anonymous keggers with their dense oceans of sweaty, beer-sloshing yahoos and 130-decibel rumble, and still view raves as enervating ‘Tard-fests set to a shrieking 4/4 beat, suitable primarily for the procurement of drugs. House parties, on the other hand, with no more than 100 guests (and usually fewer), were a lot more my speed, because you could actually carry on a conversation with another person. Back in my single days, this was practically a requirement–although I’m a handsome enough guy, for whatever reason, I just don’t have the the kind of looks that make the ladies weak in the knees. So back in the day, if I had any hope whatsoever of getting lucky, it was my mouth that would get me there (my mouth could also queer the deal with a quickness; I walked a razor-thin line in my youth). So house parties were always more my thing.

But Is Telling You You’re Attractive Really Such A Terrible Lie? Best Case Scenario–Everybody Wins.

About ten years or so ago, I attended a house party in Auburn, Washington. By 9:00 PM the house was loud and packed, crowd runoff spilling out onto the back deck and into the wide, sloping back yard.  Cigarette smoke mingled with the meaty tang of  dogs on the grill.  The volume steadily increased. But what none of us knew was that on the street outside, sinister forces were already advancing upon us.

“We’re Gonna Stand Around A Keg Of Redemption And Do Shots Of Jesus!”

Another thing I like about house parties is that inevitably, clusters of people form at various points in the house and yard, with people leaving groups and joining them, new ones forming and old ones disappearing. The addition of one new face to a cluster of people slightly changes the complexion of the conversation, which grows and changes as long as the party lasts. This facet of the house party experience was the vulnerability the Christ-crashers preyed upon.

Jesus Says He’ll Come Back If Some Chicks Show Up.  After Hanging Out With Twelve Dudes ALL Day, He Wants No Part Of This Sausage Fest.

The clandestine force had by this time breached the intimacy of the gathering.  No one yet knew that a cadre of insidious strangers already walked among us.  No one would until it was too late. About twenty minutes earlier, a group of about a dozen unremarkable twentysomething men and women arrived at the party.  They arrived in groups of one or two, either through the front or garage door, which was wide open.

The Party Is Here On Earth.

Once inside the party’s perimeter, the operatives split up, sidling up to different groups throughout the home and property. One of them joined the conversation I was having. I didn’t recognize him, but assumed–as the Christ-crashers were counting on–he was friends with other people at the party. Meanwhile, everyone was making this same mistaken assumption.

We started to get an inkling that something might be wrong when, in the space of no more than ninety seconds, every conversation at the party had turned to the redemptive works of the Lord Jesus Christ. No matter how base, inane or vile the conversation had been prior to the crashing, every conversation was now a theological one. Still not realizing we were being invaded, some of us debated the Christ-crashers politely, others turned abusive.

ATHEIST

All The Charm & Goodwill Of That Shitty Little Kid Who Ruins The Santa Thing For Other Kids.

It didn’t take long to understand the problem and identify the perpetrators.  They were dressed nearly identically, in dark blue track suits. They were shortish, men and women both, with traces of an Eastern European accent. I am very intrigued by accents, and asked where they were from. Their spokesman, a compact man with boyish features grew visibly uncomfortable and said, “We’re Americans.”

“Yeah, but you’re not from here originally, are you?” I asked, not accusing, simply curious (and I go through this little dance all the time; folks, if you don’t want me to ask where your accent is from, then fucking lose it. And if you don’t want a whole host of other questions, don’t fucking tell me it’s British–not all Americans are that stupid). The closest he came to saying was answering me in the affirmative when I asked if he was Slavic. The matter was quickly sorted out, and the newcomers revealed to be members of a local fundamentalist church.  The spokesman explained that they were a sort of youth outreach, bringing a message of salvation to iniquitous gatherings like this one.

Because Who Knows More About Saving Your Soul Than A Creepy Little Foreigner?

Even in the face of the Christ Crashers’ machinations, the host proved a class act by inviting them to stay. Sadly, the strange little man took the position that the Heavenly Father frowned upon drinking, clearly forgetting why Jesus was in such high demand as a wedding guest throughout Canaan circa 30 AD.

“Some Say My First Miracle Was The Coolest.”

The host’s not-inconsiderable patience by this time exhausted, the Crashers quickly found themselves back on the street. Undeterred, the Jesus Jihadists set off  to find someone else who wanted just a little more Son of Man at his or her party.

It happened once; it can–and almost certainly will–happen again. So if ever you find yourself at a party, and all at once every conversation turns to the joy of having a relationship with Christ, don’t panic–you’ve just been Christ-crashed.

This Christ-Crasher Is All Tuckered Out.

Sacred Cow Flop

29 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Religion

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

Christianity, freedom of speech, fun with stereotypes, Hinduism, ignorance--it's what we do, Islam, Judaism, Religion, sacred cows, sacred texts, shut your mouth!, take a fucking joke

By Smaktakula

If God Cares So Much What We Say, Why Did He Waste Time With The Bible, The Talmud and The Koran, Instead Of Just Writing A Dictionary?

We all know it can be pretty hard to offend a zealot. The world’s great religions have shown time and time again that they can take a joke, and value speech and open expression far more than they cling to fundamentalist dogma.

But just for fun, and today being Sunday, we thought it might be neat to try insulting no less than three of these unflappable faiths in a single, admittedly compound, sentence:

“I’m just like Jesus (except not, you know…so Jewy), and I think women should be allowed to vote!”

At This Point You Can Expect To Be Beheaded, Have Your Immortal Soul Consigned To Hell, Or Be Sued Like You’ve Never Been Sued Before.

And because you guys are such a great audience, we’re throwing in a bonus faith-offending sentence!

“Now let’s all get a burger!”

Mmmmm… Genealogy Never Tasted So Good!

“You Think This Is Over? This Isn’t Over! We’re Gonna Start By Suing Your Cable Company, And Then We’re Gonna Sue Your Computer Manufacturer. And Then? Oh Yeah, Buddy–Then We’re Gonna Sue You ‘Till You Can’t See Straight. Have A Nice Day.”

Pray for us, friends. ∞ T.

Online Dating: No Longer Just For The Wretched

10 Thursday May 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Amor, BlackSingles, Christian Mingle, Christianity, classified advertising, hookups, JDate, meeting your mate, normals, online dating, reverse racism, romance, ugly people, white people

By Smaktakula

You’re Not Above Using Your Computer For Sex. So Why Not Love?

With statistics showing that more and more couples are meeting one another over the internet, online dating (once known as ‘Classified Ad Dating’) is no longer solely the purview of the diseased, the malformed or similar undesirables. With greater frequency, normals are getting into the act.

Thanks to our increasingly fractured lives and the resulting lack of intimacy, traditional places for meeting a life-partner such as school, work, or poorly-lit taverns at last call are no longer sufficient to meet the world’s yearning for romance. School and work both suck, it will be noted, and taverns are rife with bitter, semi-toothed and vaguely threatening rummies. Given these disappointing realities, it’s no surprise that lonelyhearts would turn to the internet.

In Days Of Yore, Society’s Undesirables Had Two Avenues For Romance: Classified Advertising And Bride-Snatching.

And they have. In fact, the lovelorn have turned to the internet in such numbers that there now not only can a would-be dater choose from among a variety of dating sites based on religion or ethnicity,* but also services catering to any lifestyle, condition or fetish. No one need ever be lonely again.

One site promoting itself recently is Christian Mingle, a dating service for Christians. Despite that church and religious functions remain among the more efficacious, unsullied means of attracting a similarly minded mate, intimacy can still be hard to foster. Some people might feel that Christian Mingle fails to offer the “first-night hookup” implicit in so many of the other services, but this is illusory. Christian Mingle users still have about the same chance of getting lucky with their prospective dates, but it involves even more lying than is typical.

We Thought The Beehive Hairdo And Peggy Hill Glasses Looked Suspicious.

A final word to those who might have stumbled across this article while searching for an online dating service: Don’t do it, Honey!  He’s already married.

*Obviously, no ‘All-Caucasian’ dating sites exist. Quite unlike such niche sites as JDate, Amor or BlackSingles, a strictly white romance service would fly in the face of the West’s longstanding tradition of equality and fair-play. ∞T.

Seattle: Coffee Poseur

22 Monday Aug 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

advertising, Canada, Christianity, coffee, coffee culture, Columbia, culture, Guatemala, It City, Ivory Coast, King County, Lewis County, Mexico, Pierce County, places that suck, poseur, Seattle, Seattle's Best Coffee, Smaktakula's vendetta against Lewis County, Snohomish County, Starbucks, T-Town Forever, Thurston County, Uganda, United States of America, urine, Vietnam, Washington, you suck so bad Lewis County so so bad

By Smaktakula

But Not As Much As Seattle ♥s Itself.

No American city is more closely associated with coffee and coffee culture than is snobbish Seattle, Washington.  From the Emerald City’s brief turn as America’s self-obsessed ‘It City’ in the 1990s, certain aspects of the Seattle phenomenon persist into modern times.  Of these, perhaps none is so undeserved as Seattle’s reputation as a coffee Mecca.  The practically-Canadian city is thousands of miles from the nearest coffee crop.

Much Like, Say, Christianity Or South-East Asia, Coffee Has A Distinctive, Important Culture.

This delusion manifests itself in the cancer-like proliferation of Starbucks, and in the tellingly-named Seattle’s Best Coffee.  The city has seized upon an advertising vacuum created by the marketing unsuitability of actual coffee-producing countries.  After all, most Americans aren’t aware that Uganda, Ivory Coast or Guatemala even exit.  Vietnam is out, having achieved the rare distinction of beating the US in a war.  Likewise, the slogan “Columbia’s Best,” would undoubtedly infringe upon trademarks already owned jointly by various cocaine cartels.  And of course, advertising Mexican-grown coffee is a non-starter, largely because Americans are already up to their eyeballs in unscheduled Mexican imports.

Ewwww. You're Gonna Wash Those First, Right?

For Reals: Promethean Times ♥s Seattle

Coffee isn’t just popular in Washington’s King County (Seattle).  The beverage is also enjoyed in nearby Snohomish, Pierce and Thurston Counties.  However, fiercely independent Lewis County’s traditional beverage is a brew consisting of fermented eggs in yak urine. ∞T.

The Westboro Baptist Church Pretty Much Hates Everybody

28 Tuesday Jun 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture, News, Religion, Stupidity

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

bigotry, childish sexual innuendo, Christianity, Claymation, crazy people, Davey & Goliath, death by automobile, death by drunk driving, douchebaggery, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, Gay Pride Parade, God Hates Fags, homosexuality, IEDs, Kansas, New York, New York City, religious intolerance, Reverend Fred Phelps, Roger Ebert, Ryan Dunn, Shirley Phelps-Roper, Westboro Baptist Church, Wizard of Oz, yokels

Not Unlike The Protagonists From The Wizard Of Oz, Fred's Got No Heart, No Brains, No Courage, And He's A Little Bitch From Kansas.

In a maneuver of daring doucheness which surprised both their foes and their fringy clutch of boosters alike, yokel commandos from the Westboro Baptist Church staged a brazen assault on America’s East Coast.  The majority of their forces were directed at New York’s Gay Pride Parade, with some held in reserve in the event of a public memorial for Jackass Jackass Ryan Dunn.

Fred's Daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper: You Can See The Crazy Oozing Out Of Her Like Stink From A Dog.

Westboro Baptist, the righteous army of the execrable douchelord Fred Phelps, has gained notoriety in recent years by picketing funerals, most notably those of fallen soldiers and marines.  These Kansan cock-knockers believe that America has strayed from the course intended by the Almighty by failing to lynch outright pernicious elements of society, most particularly homosexuals.  It remains unclear why the Lord of Lords has chosen as His sole prophet a deranged old nutbag from the prairie whose idea of saving souls is waving a placard thanking God for IEDs while screaming incoherently at grieving survivors.  Nevertheless, the indefatigable Clan Westboro is an increasing media presence.

What?!? The Space Shuttle? Why God, Why?

Westboro’s assault on New York City’s Gay Pride Parade is  in retaliation for New York State’s recent legalization of gay marriage, which according to one source close to Phelps has made the preacher “flaming mad, absolutely raging.”  Although the handful of church weirdos who showed up to protest the event were dwarfed in number by the gazillions who attended to celebrate, a spokesidiot for the WBC likened their situation to that of David and Goliath.  She then went on to explain twice that the story of David and Goliath has nothing at all to do with a TV show about a Claymation sissyboy and his talking dog.  She reconfirmed this information in a follow-up interview.

If God Really Hates This Dude, Why Did The Almighty Waste So Much Time On Meticulous Detail?

It is believed that several Westboro operatives remain on the East Coast, planning to disrupt the inevitable memorial to Dunn, which although as-yet-unannounced, most experts believe will have to occur soon before the reality-television clown fades from public’s goldfish-like memory.  Dunn died along with another person last week, in what in other circumstances would be called a murder-suicide, but because it was vehicular has been termed a ‘drunk driving accident.’

Granted, It Was Somewhat Irresponsible Of Dunn To Drive Drunk, Killing Himself And Another Person. But It Was REALLY Irresponsible For Roger Ebert To Suggest That Dunn Might Have Been Drunk Before The World Found Out That He Was.

Given the potential exposure of such a public event, which media outlets like MTV will be only too happy to hijack, the Church has an opportunity to bring their peculiar brand of Christianity to a wider audience.  However, the halfwits who grieve for Dunn aren’t likely to understand how the presumably heterosexual Jackass’ moronic and useless death has anything to do with God hating homosexuals.  The three or four whole-to-partially-witted folks who witness the event are likely to have the same problem.

We Remain Unconvinced That Talking About 'God's Rod' Is The Most Effective Way To Get Folks To Stop Thinking About Man-Sausage.

Happy Easter, Folks!

24 Sunday Apr 2011

Posted by tardsie in Culture, Religion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

animal cruelty, chocolate bunnies, Christianity, Easter, holidays, true meanings of holidays

By Tardsie

Take A Few Moments During The Holiday To Remember The Victims Of Easter Violence.

Christians Still Bitching About Equal Treatment

01 Wednesday Dec 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Religion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

AIDS, burning the Koran, censorship, Christianity, Christians, Coptic Christians, cowardice, double standard, First Amendment, GodBGone, Holy of Holies, hypocrisy, Islam, Jesus, Jesus of Nazareth, Koran, Mohammed, muslims, persecuted Christians, religious persecution, Smithsonian Institution, the Christ, The Passion

By Smaktakula

Christians--Unless You're Willing To Blow Someone Up Over It, We're Afraid This Doesn't Qualify As Offensive.

The Smithsonian Institution has agreed to withdraw a controversial art piece which Christian groups have labelled offensive.  Some observers are shocked at the speed with which the Smithsonian gave in to the Christians’ demands, especially after it was revealed that the evangelical groups had not made any threats of violence.

“Obviously, the Smithsonian jumped the gun,” said Lydia Blatt, spokesperson for the atheist group GodBGone.  “The Christian groups who supposedly oppose this art installation can’t be bothered to so much as threaten to punch a guard in the nose.  Really, how offended can they be?”

Others deny that the material is at all offensive.  “I regret that some reports about the exhibit have created an impression that the video is intentionally sacrilegious,” said Martin Sullivan, director of the Smithsonian’s National Portrait Gallery, of the video which depicts a crucified Christ covered in ants.

We Had No Idea! Something Must Be Done--And Soon!--About That Offensive Sign.

We must agree with Sullivan when he says that “the artist’s intention was to depict the suffering of an AIDS victim.”  A reasonable person would really have to stretch to imagine that a depiction of the Holy of Holies bathed in carrion-eaters could somehow be offensive.  That the dread disease has become commonly associated with the Christian Savior covered with ants at the moment of His Passion should be common knowledge to just about everybody.

Lastly, Sullivan added, “Look, this is a simple issue of the First Amendment, and needs to be put into perspective.  I mean, it’s not like we threatened to burn a Koran or anything.”

In The Interest Of Fairness, We Have Reluctantly Included This Picture Of The Prophet Mohammed (Peace Be Upon Him).

Almighty Offensive

17 Wednesday Nov 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Religion

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

action figures, Almighty Heroes, blasphemy for profit, Carrot Top should just be happy someone remembers him, Christianity, consumerism, cynical profiteering, Daniel, Davey & Goliath, David, Deborah, Delilah, Don Levine, Egypt, Evangelicals, faux Christianity, for-profit prophets, fuck dolls, Goliath, Inviolable Word of the Almighty, Jonah, Judaism, Moses, Old Testament, Pharoah, Psalms, Red Sea, Samson, Tardsie The Backpack, the Bible, the Word of God, things stoned people might purchase

By Smaktakula

In The Beginning, Don Created GI Joe, And Saw That It Was Lucrative.

Children love to hear Bible stories, and those from the Old Testament–when Jehovah was still doing a lot smiting–can be some of the most exciting.  One thing kids like even better than hearing Old Testament Bible stories is reenacting those stories with grotesquely-proportioned Biblically-themed action figures. For years such a product remained elusive.

"He Maketh YOU Lie Down By Still Waters, MoFo!"

Now that gap has been filled with for-profit prophets: Enter The Almighty Heroes!

  • Moses:  Adopted by a foster-mother unaware his secret Jewish identity, the young Moses grew to be a mighty champion of the people.  The Pharoah’s legions couldn’t catch him, and the Red Sea couldn’t stop him in his search for the Promise Land.  Battle Cry: “Let My People Go!”
  • Samson: With bitchin’ hair and a cut bod, Samson was the BC Fabio.  Armed with nothing more than the jawbone of an ass, Samson wages battle with his untrustworthy frenemy Delilah at his side, fighting for justice against such foes as Harry the Depilator.
  • Daniel:  When young Daniel was cast into the lion’s den, no one thought he could survive.  But when a stray lightning bolt struck just as a lion was about to pounce on the frightened prophet, Daniel was miraculously transformed into something more.  With great power comes great responsibility, and Daniel pledged to himself never again to shirk.  Now, with his ever-present lion sidekick Redeemon at his side, he fights crime with a roar.
  • David:  The red-headed rascal who would be king.  A talented multi-instrumentalist and gifted lyricist, David was a lover and not a fighter.  But when the chips were down, David showed he wasn’t afraid to do the hard work, be it slaying a giant with a single stone or sending a loyal soldier to his death that David might possess the man’s wife.  Even though he’s God’s favorite, David plays by his own rules.
  • Deborah:  Deborah rates inclusion for being the most famous Old Testament female who wore clothes.
  • Goliath:  Not really a hero, per se.

Carrot Top Had Second Thoughts About Selling His Likeness For Use As A Toy. But Who Could Say No To Those Breasts?

These evangelical avengers are the brainchild of Donald Levine, the creator of the original G.I. Joe.  Levine’s company, Almighty Heroes Media Group, was created to address a toy shortfall in the Christian marketplace.  Not at all ironically, Levine is Jewish.

davy_goliath.jpg davey and goliath image by SKunker101

"Gosh, Davey--I Think It's Super That You Learned A Very Valuable Lesson. But I Meant It When I Said I'd Tear Your Throat Out If You Pulled That Shit Again."

Some people might think it a tad vulgar to so shamelessly profit from a religion of which he isn’t a member, but Levine’s defenders are quick to add that all these Old Testament characters are very much a part of the Jewish tradition as well.  It’s not impossible that Jewish parents might buy Almighty Heroes for their children.  “But what, they’re gonna waste their money on this crap?” Levine says.  “What?  I’m joking, I’m joking.  The sense of humor on this guy!  Unbelievable.”

Billy Just Loves To Play Samson. His Favorite Part Of The Story Is When Samson, After Having His Eyes Put Out And Cast In Chains By His Philistine Captors, Gains His Revenge By Pulling Down The Temple Atop His Enemies In A Gruesome Murder-Suicide.

Moreover, Levine is quick to point out that products such as the Goliath Electronic Sword and the Jonah & the Whale Playset help kids get into the Bible by allowing them to add their own awesome adventures to the Inviolable Word of the Almighty.

Batman Wants Nothing To Do With These Jokers.

Sadly, Levine’s company has not fared well, perhaps cursed by the unseen hand of Satan or possibly good taste.  Almighty Inc. has been unable to pay back loans, and Levine is being sued by one of his former partners.  But like the resilient heroes who are their flagship characters, don’t count Almighty Inc. out just yet.  The photos of the David and Samson action figures in this story were taken yesterday by Promethean Times’ staff photographer Tardsie the Backpack.  They are available at our local Rite Aid.

It's A Little Weird To Think That The Psalmist Looked So Much Like A Fuck Doll.

Righteous!

Historical Figures With Unfortunate Nicknames: General Butt Naked

07 Thursday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, History, News

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Africa, blood-drinking, butt naked, Christianity, crazy people, cross dressing, demonic possession, Devil, freeballing, Gen. Naked, General Butt Naked, General Junk All Hangin' Out, homophobia, human sacrifice, Joshua Blahyi, Liberia, mass murderers, massacre, militias, nakedness, not responsible by way of Satan, nudity, Sarpo, Truth and Reconciliation Commission, unfortunate nicknames, unpunished war criminals, warlords

By Smaktakula

General We Understand. But Why Butt Naked?

In 1971, Joshua Blahyi’s parents christened him with a perfectly respectable name.  But during the first Liberian Civil War of the early-1990s, the young Sarpo tribesman became better known as the infamous General Butt Naked.

That the name sounds reminiscent of a comic book super-villain is appropriate.  According to his own testimony before Liberia’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, Gen. Naked and his forces slaughtered upwards of 20,000 people.  While such a figure does not propel him to Hitlerian status, it does confirm his status as a free-swinging cock.

Which, perhaps not coincidentally is how Gen. Naked acquired his colorful nickname.  Said to lead his troops clad in nothing but sneakers and an assault rifle, the freeballing guerilla struck fear in the hearts of his enemies.

"Because Of The Atrocities, Human Sacrifice And Blood Drinking--All Performed Nude, I'd Like To Add-- People Have The Idea That I'm Some Kind Of Monster."

His savagely loyal troops were often similarly non-attired.  Sometimes they would dress in drag before their raids, presumably to strike extra fear within the hearts of any homophobes among their victims.

Sister Is Doin' It For Himself.

The General’s career began when he received a phone call from the devil at age 11.  Backed by his infernal sponsor, Naked was soon a high priest among his tribe, practicing a fanatical polyglot Christianity which incorporated aspects of several local faiths.  The warlord admitted to acts of child sacrifice and blood-drinking on the eve of battles.

General Butt Naked is reformed now, and works as an evangelical minister in Liberia.  The General claims to feel “very bad, so bad” about his former crimes, but insists that as one possessed by the devil, he is not responsible for his actions. The nickname he keeps around as a sort of souvenir.

God Forgives Reverend Butt Naked. Why Won't The Families Of His Victims?

Village Massacres Shake Uneasy Nigeria

12 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Africa, Christianity, Crime, Islam, Religion, World Affairs

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Christianity, Christians, George Clooney, Goodluck Jonathan, Green Day, Islam, James Bond, muslims, Niger, Nigeria, Nigerian massacre, U2, village massacres, Wall Street Journal, WSJ

Nigeria (not to be confused with its similar sounding and similarly-troubled neighbor Niger) is experiencing more religious violence between Muslims and Christians.         

Since the unrest in Nigeria has yet to attain Third-World-Crisis-of-the-Moment status, it languishes in the doldrums of global anonymity.  Lacking a Green Day song or an impassioned plea by George Clooney, the religious violence in Nigeria will likely go on unabated.         

This quote from the article helps to illustrate just how deep the hostilities run within Nigeria:         

An elderly woman prayed at the edge of the burial pit, chanting. “By God’s grace we will enter their villages and kill their women and children,” she repeated.      

Adding to Nigeria’s sinister-quotient is the vice president (and current acting president), Goodluck Jonathan.  Not only does Mr. Jonathan have the perfect name to be the arch-villain’s freakish henchman in a James Bond film, he’s got the right look, too.    

"No, Mr. Bond--I Expect You To Die"

 Read About It Before U2 Sings About It: Village Massacres Shake Uneasy Nigeria – WSJ.com.   

Smaktakula 
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