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Tag Archives: massacre

This Day In History: May 4th, 1970 CE

04 Friday May 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Culture, History, Music, Politics

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

1970, Cambodia, David Crosby, Graham Nash, Kent State, Kent State Massacre, massacre, May 4th, Neil Young, Ohio, Ohio National Guard, protesters, Richard M. Nixon, Stephen Stills, this day in history, Vietnam Conflict

On which the simmering combination of angry anti-war protesters and nervous Ohio National Guardsmen reaches a violent boil, inspiring a great Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young song.

“Tin Soldiers And Nixon Coming, We’re Finally On Our Own . . .This Summer I Hear The Drumming–Damn, This Song IS Catchy.”

Four dead in O-Hi-O. ∞T.

Headlines 04.28.11

28 Thursday Apr 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

American Civil War, autism, Brazil, Cape Cod, Donald Trump, Enrique Iglesias, Garey Busey, great white shark, headlines, homosexuality, Libya, Madden NFL 12, massacre, NATO, NFL, sailors, sharks, slavery, street children, US Navy, Vladimir Putin, you got a real purty mouth

By Smaktakula

Just the headlines, none of the content.  For more Headlines fun, click here and here.

Navy panel allows openly gay sailor to continue to serve ~ Sounds noble, but remember–we’re talking about the Navy.  If the US Navy were to rid itself entirely of homosexuality, it would have all the fighting strength of the Cape Cod Yacht Club.

Anchors Aweigh!

Brazil shooting said to be first school massacre in nation’s history ~  Previous Brazilian massacres have been of street children, and thus not newsworthy.

Madden NFL 12 to Make Player Safety a Priority ~Madden 12: Also known as ‘The Lame Edition.’

Blind pooch comes with own guide dog ~ Talk about a useless creature.

Meet the perfect rainforest predator ~ Haven’t they been telling us for years that it’s man?

Act goes awry, human cannonball dies ~ There’s no way anyone could have seen this coming.

Gary Busey endorses Donald Trump for president ~ Gary left a chunk of his brain on the street after a helmetless motorcycle accident.  Still, we thought he was smarter than that.

“My Cat’s Breath Smells Like Cat Food!”

Sick grandma dropped in Arctic in botched rescue ~ Okay, we’re actually gonna read this one.

What Makes a Person Ugly? ~ Well, it’s tough to explain, but there’s a reason dogs bark at you in the street and children flee screaming upon your approach.

‘Atlas Shrugged’ finally comes to the screen ~ The audience shrugs.

Small Iowa town ‘lucky’ after big tornado ~ But in the moments before the tornado they were decidedly unlucky.

Shark expert surprised by great white attack on woman ~ If he’s really an expert, he should know they do that.

Pissing Yourself Is An Acceptable Response.

Civil War’s dirty secret about slavery ~ Was that a secret?–Because our 8th grade history teacher just wouldn’t shut up about it.

Libya regime accuses Nato of siding with rebels ~ Wasn’t that the whole point?

What Happens When Autistic Kids Grow Up? ~ We just don’t know, and we can’t afford to let that happen.

Is Sitting a Lethal Activity? ~ It all depends upon what you’re sitting on.

Our Eagerness To Resort To Awful Puns Is Simply Shocking.

Are You Praising Your Child Properly? ~ Do you even know where the little fuckers are right now?

Putin does the rendition-and-secret-jail thing, too ~ We’re not so different after all.

Woman denies biting off testicles ~ So was she a man before she did it?

Spend Valentine’s Day with Enrique Iglesias and a Big Bottle of Astroglide Personal Lubricant ~ We are so there.

“Nadie Puede Amarte Como Yo Pueda, Smaktakula.”

Historical Figures With Unfortunate Nicknames: General Butt Naked

07 Thursday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, History, News

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Africa, blood-drinking, butt naked, Christianity, crazy people, cross dressing, demonic possession, Devil, freeballing, Gen. Naked, General Butt Naked, General Junk All Hangin' Out, homophobia, human sacrifice, Joshua Blahyi, Liberia, mass murderers, massacre, militias, nakedness, not responsible by way of Satan, nudity, Sarpo, Truth and Reconciliation Commission, unfortunate nicknames, unpunished war criminals, warlords

By Smaktakula

General We Understand. But Why Butt Naked?

In 1971, Joshua Blahyi’s parents christened him with a perfectly respectable name.  But during the first Liberian Civil War of the early-1990s, the young Sarpo tribesman became better known as the infamous General Butt Naked.

That the name sounds reminiscent of a comic book super-villain is appropriate.  According to his own testimony before Liberia’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, Gen. Naked and his forces slaughtered upwards of 20,000 people.  While such a figure does not propel him to Hitlerian status, it does confirm his status as a free-swinging cock.

Which, perhaps not coincidentally is how Gen. Naked acquired his colorful nickname.  Said to lead his troops clad in nothing but sneakers and an assault rifle, the freeballing guerilla struck fear in the hearts of his enemies.

"Because Of The Atrocities, Human Sacrifice And Blood Drinking--All Performed Nude, I'd Like To Add-- People Have The Idea That I'm Some Kind Of Monster."

His savagely loyal troops were often similarly non-attired.  Sometimes they would dress in drag before their raids, presumably to strike extra fear within the hearts of any homophobes among their victims.

Sister Is Doin' It For Himself.

The General’s career began when he received a phone call from the devil at age 11.  Backed by his infernal sponsor, Naked was soon a high priest among his tribe, practicing a fanatical polyglot Christianity which incorporated aspects of several local faiths.  The warlord admitted to acts of child sacrifice and blood-drinking on the eve of battles.

General Butt Naked is reformed now, and works as an evangelical minister in Liberia.  The General claims to feel “very bad, so bad” about his former crimes, but insists that as one possessed by the devil, he is not responsible for his actions. The nickname he keeps around as a sort of souvenir.

God Forgives Reverend Butt Naked. Why Won't The Families Of His Victims?

This Day In History: April 19, 1993 CE

19 Monday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, History, News, Politics, Religion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

1993, Afghanistan, April 19, ATF, Attorney-General, Branch Davidians, David Koresh, homicide, Janet Reno, Kent State, massacre, Miranda Rights, murder, Patriot's Day, religious freedom, religious intolerance, repression of dissent, slaughter, Texas, this day in history, unpunished war criminals, Waco, war criminal

On which Janet Reno hosts a killer Patriot’s Day cookout in the Lonestar State for seventy-six of her closest friends:

Waco: Think 'Afghanistan,' But Without The Miranda Rights.

f

Waco: Think Afghanistan, But Without The Miranda Rights

Times Online: Turkey Recalls Ambassador After US Genocide Vote

05 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Asia, Christianity, Europe, History, Islam, Justice, Middle East, Military, Political Correctness, Politics, Religion, World Affairs

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1915, Armenia, Armenian Genocide, Armenian Holocaust, genocide, House Committee on Foreign Affairs, Islam, Islamic Republic, massacre, Muslim, Ottoman Empire, pogrom, Turkey, Turkish, Turks, United States of America, US Ambassador

Despite pleas from the Obama Administration, the House Committee on Foreign Affairs has voted to label Turkey’s 1915 pogrom against Armenians as a genocide.

From a strategic standpoint, this is madness.  The Turks have already made clear their feelings on the issue, and to persist in this course risks alienating our closest Muslim ally (Turkey, it should be noted, is a model among predominately Muslim nations for its staunchly secular government).  Moreover, the raising of this issue now risks undermining recent overtures between Turkey and Armenia.

Conversely, Turkey’s argument is that the 1915 massacres did not constitute a genocide, claiming that the death statistics have been exaggerated.  While that is indeed very likely, it is a specious argument.  A genocide is both a deliberate and a systematic elimination of a people.  It is a crime of intent, and the relative size of the body count doesn’t matter.

Turkey Shoot Here: Turkey recalls ambassador after US vote on Armenia ‘genocide’ – Times Online.

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