• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Tag Archives: unfortunate nicknames

Historical Figures With Unfortunate Nicknames: Deep Throat

18 Friday Mar 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in History, News, Politics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Backdoor Intruder, Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein, Deep Throat, FBI, Federal Bureau of Investigation, G-Men, History, How much does Carl Bernstein hate Bob Woodward? Lots., illegal wiretaps, Mark Felt, meal ticket, porno movies, snitches, terrorists, Throbby Johnson, unfortunate nicknames, unrepentant, Washington Post, Watergate, Weather Underground

By Smaktakula

G-Man Mark Felt had an eventful career, rising to become deputy director of the FBI, and until recently was best known for illegally wiretapping the Weather Underground, which caused the case against the unrepentant terrorists to be dismissed.  But Felt’s most significant contribution to history, which would have gone unknown until is 2008 death if his children hadn’t wanted to cash in on it, was as Watergate whistleblower Deep Throat.

Was Hoping For A Less Suggestive Nickname, Perhaps "Backdoor Intruder" Or "Throbby Johnson."

So far it doesn’t appear to be the cash cow the younger Felts had hoped.  It turns out that, even if they approve of the action, nobody likes a snitch.

Historical Figures With Unfortunate Nicknames: Beaver Dick

22 Friday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Beaver Dick, Great Britain, historical signposts, humiliating nicknames, Idaho, Jim Bridger, mountain men, obscure historical figures, Richard Leigh, suggestive nicknames, Tardsie, Tardsie The Backpack, unfortunate nicknames

By Smaktakula

Of the British-born Richard Leigh, who would rise to relative obscurity as the mountain man Beaver Dick, little is known or cared.

Unsurprisingly, When You Type "Beaver" And "Dick" Into A Search Engine, This Is One Of The Few Non-Pornographic Results.

Said to trail in fame only Jim Bridger and a handful of other mountain men no living man can name, Leigh’s humiliating nickname lives on through historical signposts.

Promethean Times' Ombudsman Tardsie The Backpack Traveled A Long Way To Find Beaver Dick.

Fan of shitty nicknames?  You’ll find more here:

  • La Barbie
  • ‘Black Dick’ Howe
  • General Butt-Naked
  • Fugeeman
  • ‘Lil ‘Lil Kim

Historical Figures With Unfortunate Nicknames: General Butt Naked

07 Thursday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, History, News

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Africa, blood-drinking, butt naked, Christianity, crazy people, cross dressing, demonic possession, Devil, freeballing, Gen. Naked, General Butt Naked, General Junk All Hangin' Out, homophobia, human sacrifice, Joshua Blahyi, Liberia, mass murderers, massacre, militias, nakedness, not responsible by way of Satan, nudity, Sarpo, Truth and Reconciliation Commission, unfortunate nicknames, unpunished war criminals, warlords

By Smaktakula

General We Understand. But Why Butt Naked?

In 1971, Joshua Blahyi’s parents christened him with a perfectly respectable name.  But during the first Liberian Civil War of the early-1990s, the young Sarpo tribesman became better known as the infamous General Butt Naked.

That the name sounds reminiscent of a comic book super-villain is appropriate.  According to his own testimony before Liberia’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, Gen. Naked and his forces slaughtered upwards of 20,000 people.  While such a figure does not propel him to Hitlerian status, it does confirm his status as a free-swinging cock.

Which, perhaps not coincidentally is how Gen. Naked acquired his colorful nickname.  Said to lead his troops clad in nothing but sneakers and an assault rifle, the freeballing guerilla struck fear in the hearts of his enemies.

"Because Of The Atrocities, Human Sacrifice And Blood Drinking--All Performed Nude, I'd Like To Add-- People Have The Idea That I'm Some Kind Of Monster."

His savagely loyal troops were often similarly non-attired.  Sometimes they would dress in drag before their raids, presumably to strike extra fear within the hearts of any homophobes among their victims.

Sister Is Doin' It For Himself.

The General’s career began when he received a phone call from the devil at age 11.  Backed by his infernal sponsor, Naked was soon a high priest among his tribe, practicing a fanatical polyglot Christianity which incorporated aspects of several local faiths.  The warlord admitted to acts of child sacrifice and blood-drinking on the eve of battles.

General Butt Naked is reformed now, and works as an evangelical minister in Liberia.  The General claims to feel “very bad, so bad” about his former crimes, but insists that as one possessed by the devil, he is not responsible for his actions. The nickname he keeps around as a sort of souvenir.

God Forgives Reverend Butt Naked. Why Won't The Families Of His Victims?

Historical Figures With Unfortunate Nicknames: ‘Black Dick’ Howe

23 Thursday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

1st Earl Howe, Admiral Richard Howe, American Revolution, Black Dick, crotch rot, Great Britain, Lord Howe, Prince Harry, Prince William, Royal Navy, Rum Buggery & The Lash, STDs, Tunisian Tart, unfortunate nicknames, United Kingdom, venereal disease, War for American Independence, War with the Colonies

By Smaktakula

Admiral Richard Howe, the 1st Earl Howe (1726-1799), led a distinguished and remarkable life. Taking to the sea at an early age, Howe fought for Great Britain in many Eighteenth Century conflicts, including the War for American Independence.  Today, Lord Howe’s name is immortalized in ships and towns throughout the remaining rump of the British Empire.  Prince William, England’s future king, and his loutish brother Harry number among Howe’s descendants.

Despite so much good luck and historical recognition (Britain’s near-success against the rebellious colonies notwithstanding), Howe will forever be burdened by the odious sobriquet: Black Dick.

Beyond The Black: In Later Years Lord Howe Had To Hold The Damned Thing In Place If He Didn't Want To Make A Scene.

Are you kids sure you want to hear the story of how Grandpa got his nickname again?  You’ve heard this a million times.
Oh, all right, then.
Once, when your grandpa was a wee lad, not much older than yourselves, he met a tart from Tunisia . . .

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • The Red Danube
  • People Actually Believe That? Ramtha And The Lizard-Beasts Of Mt. Rainier
  • Diff'rent Strokes Curse Remains With Work Undone
  • Shannon Price Is A Cooze
  • The Skonk
  • Mullets Are Slightly Less Heinous Than Fauxhawks
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Hef's Former Skank Calls Him "Dead Fish"
  • Emmanuel Lewis: The Antigary

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

  • Teachable Moments prometheantimes.com/2015/10/15/tea… http://t.co/QFzhCOBHaO 6 years ago
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight prometheantimes.com/2015/10/01/the… http://t.co/lY6IVUWzYV 6 years ago
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ prometheantimes.com/2015/09/23/my-… http://t.co/izgO4yJppn 6 years ago
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/08/17/she… http://t.co/0svsAHygLs 6 years ago
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/07/31/wel… http://t.co/tvFvovXjTX 6 years ago
Follow @prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

May 2022
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Oct    

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim on People Actually Believe That?…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
tomsimard on Sadly, Anne Heche Still L…
Smaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Anonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…

Tardsie D. Bagg

Smaktakula

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 509 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...