By Smaktakula

The Reality Is More Unpleasant.

For years, it has popularly been believed that camel toe, the unsightly, mystery-killing condition which arises when a lady’s pants are too tight, is spread through contact with dromedaries and other large mammals. That a synonym for this unfortunate condition is “moose knuckle,” should further illustrate this misconception.

Not Guilty!

In reality, the source of this affliction is much more prosaic–opossums.  It is bad enough that these filthy, stupid and cowardly little creatures invade our yards and sometimes our homes as well, but to do this while at the same time robbing our womenfolk of their dignity is far beyond the pale. Anyone who has a mother, a sister, a daughter or a wife–we urge you to show your love for that special gal in your life by grabbing the nearest brick and smashing the life out of a few of these skulking night-rats.

Even In The Off-Chance We’re Wrong, Kill A Few Anyway. The World Will Thank You.

In Canada, They Call It The ‘Caribou Cleft.’

You’re Going To Have To Use Your Imagination Here.

More Of A “Moose Knuckle,” Really.