Those of you, who like us from time to time employ vulgar and absurd phrases to express dislike, will no doubt identify with the following scenario.
You: “This cream cheese tastes like donkey ass!”¹
Funny Buddy: “Oh–And just how do you know what donkey ass tastes like?”
Anyone who finds this tired response amusing isn’t likely to benefit from an explanation of metaphorical speech. However, such an unimaginative person is almost certain to be thrown for a loop if you surprise him with the conversational equivalent of driving your Toyota Tacoma through the freeway median and barreling into oncoming traffic.
Next time, when met with the response “How would you know what donkey ass (or some other suitably heinous comparison) tastes like?”–stand your ground. Look your tormentor straight in the eye, and with a jaded sneer and a slow, exaggerated licking of the lips, say:
“How the fuck do you think I know?”
Jen and Tonic said:
I’ll never be able to eat another pudding cup in my life.
I know you’re pain. I had a girlfriend who once referred to Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups as “menstrual cookies,” and I was ruined for that delightful confection for all time.
Jen and Tonic said:
WHAT THE FUCK?!
Carrie Rubin said:
Sadly, conversations like this occur all too frequently in my home…
The problem is not the donkey ass, but rather, the one who questions the donkey ass.
Doesn’t sweet donkey ass taste like chicken? (stupid, I know, I know, but I couldn’t resist)
Cute pic of Red!
It can. It depends on the donkey. There is no stupid question.
And it is a cute pic, but although my household bears the ginger-curse, that little red-headed child (step or other) ain’t mine!
William Miller said:
My boys prefer to say, “This taste like stale boogers,” and, unfortunately, they should know.
I should be so lucky. We were at the zoo the other day and my older boys wouldn’t stop pressing their mouths to the glass around the meerkat enclosure. By coincidence, the boys are now spreading the blickey throughout our household.
At least it’s not leprosy. Yet.
Why did the baby picture immediately make me think he must be Adam from Mythbusters’ kid????
The street term for donkey’s butt is Ba-donkey-donk. It’s true (probably)
You don’t have to tell me, Bro! I’m the Central Coast’s premier hook-up for that sweet BDD.
And that’s a great play on words, by the way.
Wait, that’s you? I had no idea you were the Premier. That’s gotta be a sweet gig.
El Guapo said:
WHEN WILL PEOPLE STOP MOCKING THE SWEET LOVE THAT CAN ONLY BE KNOWN BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS DONKEY?!?
“It’s What’s For Breakfast In Armenia”, is a great caption to the picture given the title of the piece. Love it.
How come “tastes like donkey ass” is so rough on the ears, but “tastes like shit” sounds so normal?
This is a rhetorical question, folks.