Those of you, who like us from time to time employ vulgar and absurd phrases to express dislike, will no doubt identify with the following scenario.
You: “This cream cheese tastes like donkey ass!”¹
Funny Buddy: “Oh–And just how do you know what donkey ass tastes like?”
Anyone who finds this tired response amusing isn’t likely to benefit from an explanation of metaphorical speech. However, such an unimaginative person is almost certain to be thrown for a loop if you surprise him with the conversational equivalent of driving your Toyota Tacoma through the freeway median and barreling into oncoming traffic.
Next time, when met with the response “How would you know what donkey ass (or some other suitably heinous comparison) tastes like?”–stand your ground. Look your tormentor straight in the eye, and with a jaded sneer and a slow, exaggerated licking of the lips, say:
“How the fuck do you think I know?”