Tags
ailing leader, Clusterbomb, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, GOBLIN, Goodluck Jonathan, Johann Schmidt, mysterious death, Nancy Pelosi, Nigeria, plastic surgery disasters, political turmoil, President Goodluck Jonathan, President umaru Musa Yar'Adua, pure evil, Red Skull, Speaker of the House, supervillain, supervillainry, The Hyena
By Smaktakula
Editor’s Note: Readers wishing to familiarize themselves with Nigeria’s turbulent politics may wish to peruse Promethean Times’ exhaustive analysis of the situation.
Shadowy Nigerian Vice President Goodluck Jonathan has assumed power following the mysterious death of President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua. It is widely believed that Jonathan has been defacto ruler of Nigeria since word first began to spread of the ailing president’s illness.
Flanked By Soldiers, Goodluck Jonathan Is Briefed By An Operative Known Only As "The Hyena"
In a nation like Nigeria, rumors abound. Among the more prevalent of these claims is that Jonathan exercises power with the help of a mysterious organization which he allegedly leads: Goodluck’s Organization for Brotherhood and Leadership In Nigeria (GOBLIN).
GOBLIN came to the world’s attention several years ago after threatening to detonate a stolen nuclear bomb in an undisclosed Western capital if the United Nations failed to meet its demands. The UN capitulated, wiring the requested $12,850.00 to an undisclosed offshore account. Since that incident, dubbed Clusterbomb by the press, the group has maintained a relatively low profile until now.
GOBLIN’s activities are said by critics to originate from Nigeria, where they claim the organization is fomenting unrest between Christians and Muslims for its own sinister purposes. Nigeria’s state department calls these claims “Hogwash.”
Several rumors regarding Yar’Adua’s death are also said to be false. According to Nigeria’s official coroner, Dr. Malcom Happytimes:
“There is no truth to the rumor that Yar’Adua died after being slowly lowered by a rope into a tank full of ravenous sharks.
Likewise, the story that the former president was found encased entirely in gold is also fiction; no doubt the fabrication of an unscrupulous press.
It is my hope that soon people will let go of these fantastic tales and accept that the poor man died of natural causes. He was fifty-eight years old, after all–no young warrior.”
The Jonathan Cadre has so far made careful use of its power. A source close to the president alleges that Jonathan is uncomfortable in his leadership role. The anonymous source claims that although the despot enjoys the title of President and its incumbent privileges, Jonathan would prefer returning to the life he knows best: the brutal lackey of a Machiavellian master bent on world domination.
Although several candidates are rumored to be in the running for the position of Jonathan’s dark master, three show particular promise. All three seem to personify the candidate described in the posting: a ruthlessly autocratic, horribly disfigured creature of pure evil.
Blofeld: The New York Yankees Of Cartoonish Supervillains
Schmidt: An Iconic Maestro Of Diabolic Villainry
Pelosi: As Deadly As She Is Beautiful
Promethean Times 
From: http://visionthought.wordpress.com
Umaru Musa Yar’Adua & The Number 13
Umaru Musa Yar’Adua
(August 16, 1951-May 5, 2010)
Umaru Musa Yar’Adua President of Nigeria, made his transition on May 5, 2010 after a long bout with poor health. Yar’Adua was 58 years old at the time of his passing. The announced cause of his passing was pericarditis.
In his short tenure as president, Umaru Yar’ Adua made important strides to have greater transparency and curtail corruption. He has the distinction of being the first Nigerian Head of State to publicly declare his assets. Yar’Adua’s rationale for doing so as he explained, was that the people would be able to see if he used his position to illegally enrich himself.
His brief tenure was not without controversy as evidenced by the potentially damaging decision by Yar’ Adua to retain power (in title at least) rather than formally relinquish power and allow his then Vice President Goodluck Jonathan to assume the presidency before his death.
In the life of Umaru Yar’Adua, we notice numeric patterns that appear with repeating occurence.
One number that appears frequently in the life of President Yar’Adua is 13.
Consider ther following:
Yar’Adua was the 13th elected Head of State of Nigeria.
He was elected on April 21, 2007, using the year and the month we get: 2+0+07 =9 +04=13.
We get the number thirteen from the date of his passing May 5, 2010 or expressed as 05-05-2010: 5+5+2+0+1+0=13.
Yar’ Adua’s age at the time of his passing was 58, which when added to itself 5+8=13.
This December would be the 13th year since Yar’Adua’s brother Sheu Musa Yar’Adua died. Sheu Ya’Adua was sentenced to prison by military tribunal, after calling for the then Sani Abacha military regime to return to civilian rule.
January 13, 2010, a Nigerian federal court handed then Vice President, Goodluck Jonathan the power to carry out state affairs while President Umaru Yar’Adua received medical treatment in a Saudi Arabian hospital.
Umaru Musa Yar’Adua joins other noteworthy Nigeria political personalities that passed away in the month of May. They include:
Sir Herbert Macauley (November 14, 1864 – May 7, 1946), Obafemi Awolowo (March 6, 1909-May 9, 1987) , Nnamdi “Zik” Azikiwe (November 16 1904 -May 11 1996).
How should we view the occurrence of 13 given the fact that Umaru Musa Yar’Adua as a practising Muslim?
According to Dr. Rashad Khalifa:
“When the Quran was revealed, 14 centuries ago, the numbers known today did not exist. A universal system was used where the letters of the Arabic, Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek alphabets were used as numerals.The number assigned to each letter is its “Gematrical Value”.”
Dr. Khalifa goes on to add:
The initials A.L.M.R (Alef Laam Mim Ra) prefix one sura,- that is 13th sura . This sura is known Al’ Ra-ad or The Thunder in English. The website Gate of Islam states:
“It is a thirteenth surah of the Holy Quran in order. Surah Ar Rad “The Thunder ” was revealed in Mecca, Arabia on Prophet and Messenger Muhammad (peace be upon him). This Surah of Holy Quran has taken its name from a word in verse 13.The subject is a divine guidance in relation to the law of casue and effect, it being explained here, as else where in Quran that there is no partiality or aversion on the part of God Almighty but the reward or punishment are the result of your actions.”
In the Quran the word land,according to one writer appears 13 times.
The letter the 13th letter in the Arabic alphabet (the language of the Quran) is given the gematrical value of “40″. The Arabic alphabet is the letter “M” in English.
The Makki Sura was revealed in 13 years.
The number 19 is very important in the Quran and the number 19 according to Moslem.org, is the 13th integer in the Quran.
The Moslem.Org website also points out:
“If we continue counting the number of verses where the verse number is prime up to the end of chapter 60 (60:13), we find that there are 1343 such verses. Note that sura 13 has 43 verses. Such is GOD’s Design, Creator of all things.”
First Revelation Sura 96 Ayeh 1-5 consists of 76 letters (19 x 4). 76=7+6=13.
In the occult tradition, the number 13 are reflected in the following manner:
1.) 13 is the number of months in the lunar calendar. Each month has 4 weeks, giving us 52 weeks for a complete year.
2) There are 13 lunar cycles in a year.
3.) The moon moves 13 degrees each day across the heavens.
4.) There are 13 cards for each suit in the Tarot. The “Death Card” is numbered 13.
5.) The final step on the ladder before the souls of the ancient people of Kemet reached eternity was the 13th step.
6.) The human body has 13 major joints.
7.) The 33rd degree Masonic Temple is located just 13 blocks north of the White House.
8.) According to the Jewish Cabalist, the number 13 represents the Snake, the dragon, Satan.
“In the Kabala, at number 13, arises the Emperor, completely armed to gain his empire. In fact, the occult school says,’ ‘He who understands 13 hath the keys of power and Dominion.”
9.) The thirteen gates of the human body of the woman: 2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 nostrils, the mouth, 2 breasts, the navel, the anus, the urethra and the vagina.
10.) The relationship between the volume of the Earth and that of the Sun is approximately 13 times a power of 10, that is to say 1 / (13.01 x 10E5) to be precise.
11.)The number 13 is used 28 times in the Old Testament and it is never used in the New Testament.
12.) The card deck includes 13 hearts, 13 spades, 13 squares, 13 clovers.
13.) The number 13 brings the test, the suffering and the death. It symbolizes the death to the matter or to oneself and the birth to the spirit: the passage on a higher level of existence.
There are many more examples of 13 symbolism such as the founding of America as was in many pre-western religions and societies. According to many Christians “The number ’13′ signifies rebellion against God’s constituted authority!”
But we are informed by one writer:
“The occultist assigns ‘6‘ to represent the number of man, and the number ‘7‘ to represent the number of divine perfection. Thus, as a person climbs that “Jacob’s Ladder” toward self-perfection in the realm of the occult, the number ‘13‘ represents the state of divine perfection, self-achieved perfection, and Illumination (6+7 = 13).”
As stated elsewhere :
“Numerology puts significance on the number thirteen when the equation 1+3=4 is considered, four being representational of the circle of life.
While modern superstitions place negative meanings on the number thirteen, in older belief systems, now considered to be linked to the occult, 13 is a number of transition and change. One ending becomes a beginning, continuing the sacred cycle of life.”
Copyright © VisionThought 2010.
I think we’re all a bit wiser for knowing that. Thanks!
Dear commenter,
TL;DR.
Thanks to Smaktakula for providing insightful satire once again.