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Tag Archives: Armenia

The Sweet Taste Of Donkey Ass

30 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Philosophy, Stupidity

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

Armenia, ass ass, donkey ass, helpful hints, metaphorical speech, places that suck

By Smaktakula

It’s What’s For Breakfast In Armenia.

Those of you, who like us from time to time employ vulgar and absurd phrases to express dislike, will no doubt identify with the following scenario.

You: “This cream cheese tastes like donkey ass!”¹

Funny Buddy: “Oh–And just how do you know what donkey ass tastes like?”

Anyone who finds this tired response amusing isn’t likely to benefit from an explanation of metaphorical speech. However, such an unimaginative person is almost certain to be thrown for a loop if you surprise him with the conversational equivalent of driving your Toyota Tacoma through the freeway median and barreling into oncoming traffic.

Next time, when met with the response “How would you know what donkey ass (or some other suitably heinous comparison) tastes like?”–stand your ground. Look your tormentor straight in the eye, and with a jaded sneer and a slow, exaggerated licking of the lips, say:

“How the fuck do you think I know?”

Thanks To The Beast’s Varied Diet, Donkey Ass Is Chock Full Of The Essential Nutrients To Help Build Growing Bodies.

¹By which it should be obvious that we mean “donkey butt” rather than “donkey donkey.” ∞ T.

Old Lady Takes Out Armenia’s Internet

07 Thursday Apr 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History, Politics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Armenia, Armenian Genocide, Armenian Holocaust, Azerbaijan, freaky things people eat, genocide, Georgia, Holocaust, internet, Turkey, yogurt soda

By Smaktakula

Even With The Internet Down, This Armenian Super-Computer Still Has A Utilitarian Function.

An elderly Georgian woman is facing legal action after accidentally terminating internet service to Armenia.  This is an especially hard blow for the tiny temporary country, which is said to be struggling to find its feet and constantly on guard against neighbor and historical enemy Turkey, which tends to erase Armenia from the map every couple of generations.

Technology Problems Can Be Devastating For A Culture Which Has Yet To Discover Edible Food.

The elderly prankster says she was digging for copper when she inadvertently stripped the data-carrying line, causing the data outage in Armenia, as well as in some parts of Georgia and Azerbaijan.  Although authorities fixed the problem within a few hours, the incident was said to be a tremendous inconvenience for the dozen or so Armenians familiar with the internet.

"Without The Internet, How Can I Send Out My Daily Reminder About The Armenian Holocaust? It's Not Fair--Everybody Talks About The Jewish Holocaust, But We Had Ours First, And It Was Way Better."

Times Online: Turkey Recalls Ambassador After US Genocide Vote

05 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Asia, Christianity, Europe, History, Islam, Justice, Middle East, Military, Political Correctness, Politics, Religion, World Affairs

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1915, Armenia, Armenian Genocide, Armenian Holocaust, genocide, House Committee on Foreign Affairs, Islam, Islamic Republic, massacre, Muslim, Ottoman Empire, pogrom, Turkey, Turkish, Turks, United States of America, US Ambassador

Despite pleas from the Obama Administration, the House Committee on Foreign Affairs has voted to label Turkey’s 1915 pogrom against Armenians as a genocide.

From a strategic standpoint, this is madness.  The Turks have already made clear their feelings on the issue, and to persist in this course risks alienating our closest Muslim ally (Turkey, it should be noted, is a model among predominately Muslim nations for its staunchly secular government).  Moreover, the raising of this issue now risks undermining recent overtures between Turkey and Armenia.

Conversely, Turkey’s argument is that the 1915 massacres did not constitute a genocide, claiming that the death statistics have been exaggerated.  While that is indeed very likely, it is a specious argument.  A genocide is both a deliberate and a systematic elimination of a people.  It is a crime of intent, and the relative size of the body count doesn’t matter.

Turkey Shoot Here: Turkey recalls ambassador after US vote on Armenia ‘genocide’ – Times Online.

Smaktakula

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