Tags
Batman, BP, BP Oil Spill, brain trust, British Petroleum, Charlie Sheen, corporate douchebaggery, Deepwater Horizon, environment, first the Spice Girls and now this?, Giant Scissors, Gulf of Mexico, Macondo Blowout, nefarious petroleum giant, oh yeah 11 people died how about that?, oil, ridiculous ideas, ruptured well, Silly-Straws, that trick never works, WWBD?
While BP’s ruptured well in the Gulf of Mexico continues to spew crude like Charlie Sheen on a runaway Tilt-O-Whirl, the nefarious petroleum giant’s brain trust has run bone-dry.
This BP Researcher Asks: WWBD?
In the early days of the crisis, BP’s Idea Men knew that to realize workable solutions, they would need to ask new questions. Working at a fever-pitch, sometimes logging 20-hour days, it was less than two months later when BP scientists asked themselves the question which would prove their interrogative Rosetta Stone:
What if the rupture and resulting spill had occurred not in the Gulf of Mexico, but rather in Gotham Harbor?
In the simple elegance of the question, an answer quickly asserted itself: Giant Scissors!
It's Been 56 Days. What The Fuck, Right?
Having Something To Do Keeps BP Executives From Hanging Themselves: FOXNews.com – BP to Use Giant Shears to Cut Leaking Pipe.
Promethean Times 
I always knew the Joker was behind this! You see, I am not a Conspiracy Theorist.
It does appear that the Joker is the culprit. Early indications were that this was the work of Mr. Freeze or possibly the Penguin, but subsequent events proved that the guilty party was the Clown Prince of Crime.