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By Smaktakula

The Roadmap To A Ceasefire: "We Have Bad Roads In Libya."

With the Libyan Crisis having dragged on for however long it’s dragged on now, the strain is beginning to show on all sides.  What is not known is which side–notorious dickhead Col. Muammar al-Gaddafi or the NATO-backed opposition–will crumble first.  Adding to the confusion, South African President Jacob Zuma has introduced an African Union-backed plan to end hostilities, the Roadmap to a Ceasefire.

Like Most Americans, The President Is Bored With This TV Show.

Acrimony abounded within the coalition after it was reported that NATO forces mistakenly bombed rebel troops.  The rebels contend that dozens were killed, but reliable reports say about four.  Even though such a small number was lost, it’s said to be a devastating blow to the resistance as one of the slain fighters, Faisal, was the only guy in the unit who knew how to drive a stick.

If There Were A 'Rebel Special Olympics,' These Guys Could Expect At Least To Get The Bronze.

Spokesrebels for the rag-tag band of unwashed misfits, perhaps thinking that the United States was still leading the mission and would therefore issue an immediate and abject act of contrition, claimed to have received such an apology.  NATO quickly denied these allegations, explaining that the official coalition response to the rebels was a request to “shut the fuck up” and a stern reminder that they were lucky more of their useless troops weren’t felled for target practice, and that moreover that only enough rebels were needed to keep AP photographers busy.

Much Of The World Sees Gaddafi As A Tyrant. To African Nations, He's A Checkbook.

Although the United States and United Kingdom have said that Gaddafi will not be part of Libya’s future, Africa’s leadership isn’t so sure.  While acknowledging that Gaddafi is a tyrant, a historical supporter of international terrorism and an all-around dick, supporters in the African Union are quick to point to the Colonel’s many good qualities, such as supplying their nations with large sums of cash.

Better A Home-Grown Tyrant Than A Benevolent Western Puppet.