Austin Powers, clowns, Elvis Aaron Presley, Italy, OxyContin, Patriot Act, Rome, Tardsie, Travels With Tardsie, Washington DC
Oh, happy day!–we’ve just received word from the Shelby County Sheriff’s Department that our beloved Editor-In-Chief, Tardsie D. Bagg, has been found alive–and for the most part well–in Memphis, Tennessee. During our brief and acrimonious phone conversation with the nylon adventurer, Tarsdie explained in greater detail how he was found lying on the grave of Elvis Presley, turned inside-out and smeared with a honey-like substance.
Tardsie’s recollection of the days following his last known appearance in Aberdeen, South Dakota, is understandably dim. Disturbingly, Tardsie insists that for the last two or three days, he’s been hiding in the attic of Graceland, playing Connect Four with an aging Elvis while the two of them gorged themselves silly on peanut-butter & OxyContin sandwiches.
As temporally improbable as such a claim is, you must admit, it sounds like something those two would do.
If only that backpack could talk…
Oh, wait. It apparently can. Among other things…
I was gonna say…
As a clown, I can assure you that the clown on your picture is as sweet as a cute kitten, the ones you see on YouTube with 1589566 clicks.
Well, sure–we know he’s not an evil clown NOW. But there were children around, and Tardsie simply could not take that chance. Could you?
Le Stand Corrrected Clown
I’m not sure who Tardsie is (must read back), but if you send the bag to me I can almost guarantee he’ll make it to Haj/Mecca. Then I could ship it back. He’d be gone a while, but I know dozens who’ll be heading there this year. 🙂
Tardsie is (I believe) a Jourman (a Jewish offshoot of Mormonism), and probably wouldn’t be allowed in Mecca.
if he’s strapped to the back of a Muslim, nobody would know the difference.