By Smaktakula
As A Means Of Transportation, It's No Less Reliable Than Amtrak.
In keeping with the Titanic theme, sometimes even a 100-year-old tragedy can bring out the stupid in today’s headlines. Enjoy!
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Cruise has bad luck retracing Titanic ~ Really? Because you’d think following in the footsteps of the most infamous maritime disaster in history would be good luck.
Officials: Human remains at Titanic shipwreck site ~ Well, thank God recovery efforts haven’t been so sloppy in the rest of the inestimable number of shipwrecks throughout humanity’s troubled existence, or the seabed would literally be lined with corpses!
10 Things That Made the Titanic a Tragedy ~ The boat was late, Cousin Ernie waited all night at the docks, and Lady Devereaux lost 8 priceless glass dildos. But otherwise it was a really good trip.
Texas restaurant recreates first-class meal on Titanic ~ The entrée is a bloated corpse atop a briny bed of kelp and ice.
Titanic’s captain is honoured on street where he was born ~ And that’s why they call it “Lookout Lane.”
This Explanation Makes As Much Sense As Any Other.
Titanic: They sent out wrong messages ~ “Help! The Ship is stinking!” just didn’t make much sense.
New York: In the footsteps of Titanic survivors ~ Not hard to follow. They leave soggy tracks across the carpet.
Another Titanic mystery: Did sunspots play a role? ~ Nope.
Titanic: there are lessons to be learned from its early plunge ~ Chief among them: Avoid Icebergs.
If We Had To Pick An Exact Moment When Things Went Bad, This Would Be It.
A lingering nightmare from the Titanic ~ We don’t remember much about the dream except that it was very cold, and it seemed like we couldn’t breathe.
If Solomon Had Been Aboard the Titanic ~ He’d be dead now–if not from drowning then surely from old age.
Promethean Times 
10 things that made Titanic a tragedy?!
I can think of one. One large, cold thing that created a hole problem
created a hole problem
Hah! No one appreciates a gratuitous pun more than I do!
I wonder why people are surprised there are corpses down there. Do people think that they all just floated up to the top for the fish to eat? As cold as the water is that far north, I would doubt there are sharks or other fish big enough in that area to dine on humans. I don’t think the dead people floated very long, especially considering that people wore a lot more clothes than they do now, and wet clothes are not very buoyant. If they floated one would think that a lot more bodies would have been recovered. I think most of them probably sank and then just sort of laid there- decomposing very slowly, something like that “science project” that’s been rotting in the back of the fridge since sometime in 2009. There’s fewer bacteria to facilitate decomposition in the cold.
The visuals from the bottom sort of remind me of the scene from “Good Fellas” when they’re digging up a body to rebury it and Joe Pesci’s character quips, “There’s a leg! There’s a wing!”
I am impressed with the amount of thought you have given this. Now I know who to come to when a plot point on a gruesome topic gives me trouble. 🙂
You’re too kind. But really, these headlines write themselves!
Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
I clicked on the Solomon link just KNOWING I’d find something there to help me write a witty comment. I didn’t.
You’d think with the “Wisdom of Solomon” there would be SOMETHING there!