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Daily Archives: April 17, 2012

Headlines: Titanic Edition

17 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in History, News

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

death by drowning, famous disasters, headlines, Titanic

By Smaktakula

As A Means Of Transportation, It's No Less Reliable Than Amtrak.

In keeping with the Titanic theme, sometimes even a 100-year-old tragedy can bring out the stupid in today’s headlines. Enjoy!

***

Cruise has bad luck retracing Titanic ~ Really? Because you’d think following in the footsteps of the most infamous maritime disaster in history would be good luck.

Officials: Human remains at Titanic shipwreck site ~ Well, thank God recovery efforts haven’t been so sloppy in the rest of the inestimable number of shipwrecks throughout humanity’s troubled existence, or the seabed would literally be lined with corpses!

10 Things That Made the Titanic a Tragedy ~ The boat was late, Cousin Ernie waited all night at the docks, and Lady Devereaux lost 8 priceless glass dildos. But otherwise it was a really good trip.

Texas restaurant recreates first-class meal on Titanic ~ The entrée is a bloated corpse atop a briny bed of kelp and ice.

Titanic’s captain is honoured on street where he was born ~ And that’s why they call it “Lookout Lane.”

This Explanation Makes As Much Sense As Any Other.

Titanic: They sent out wrong messages ~ “Help! The Ship is stinking!” just didn’t make much sense.

New York: In the footsteps of Titanic survivors ~ Not hard to follow. They leave soggy tracks across the carpet.

Another Titanic mystery: Did sunspots play a role? ~ Nope.

Titanic: there are lessons to be learned from its early plunge ~ Chief among them: Avoid Icebergs.

If We Had To Pick An Exact Moment When Things Went Bad, This Would Be It.

A lingering nightmare from the Titanic ~ We don’t remember much about the dream except that it was very cold, and it seemed like we couldn’t breathe.

If Solomon Had Been Aboard the Titanic ~ He’d be dead now–if not from drowning then surely from old age.

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