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audiobooks, dangerous people, dope, grass, hemp, literature, outright lies, pot, reefer, Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding, sweet sweet cheeba, true facts, weed, Why am I unable to read?
By Smaktakula
Few Works Of Literature Have Had Such A Profound Effect Upon Our Development. We're Not Kidding About This One.
Rapid advances in technology and the world’s ever-burgeoning “Stupid Factor” are both contributing to the incipient extinction of the book in its traditional form. That portion of the public which still wastes its time reading now has a broad spectrum of media from which to choose, including traditional books, e-books and, frighteningly, audiobooks.
Okay, This Doesn't Even Make Sense. To Start With, Books Don't Have Ears.
Reading is a personal, and often private activity. Yet increasingly, the public is abrogating its own reading responsibility, leaving the heavy lifting to an anonymous reader. Most people would feel uncomfortable letting a complete stranger blow their nose or unzip their fly, but have not even a second thought about inviting some stranger into their most personal space–their heads.
'Book Of Losers?' We Imagine That Included Among Its Pages Are People Who Actually Read Books.
Given the recent increase in the popularity of audiobooks, it is somewhat surprising that there is so little concern among the public regarding who–or what–is whispering in its collective ear. It’s no great stretch of the imagination to suppose that the mellifluous voice coming through your headphones belongs to a pot-addled, potty-mouthed degenerate with at least one arrest for arson. It could be someone even worse.
Is This The Kind Of Dangerous Creepo You Want Reading To Your Kids?
Lastly, there’s the well-documented fact that listening to audiobooks causes bladder cancer.
Audiobooks: For Degenerates, By Degenerates.
Promethean Times 
Wow, I haven’t seen Philip Seymour Hoffman look that thin in years. And yes, that’s what I walked away with here…
Not the dangers of bladder cancer? Because that’s what I was really trying to get across.
Not only are audio-books dangerous to listeners, but ‘voice-actors’ also show an amazingly high rate of bladder cancer. Coincidence?
It’s not a coincidence–it’s a plot! But I heard the bladder cancer was only for the listeners, not the readers!
Smak,
That is a beautiful picture of you. Have you lost weight? A new haircut perhaps?
Le Clown
I’ve lost weight, but gained about fifty pounds of cool, and grew about six inches.
An extremely insightful post! I never looked at it that way. I only ever dabbled with audiobooks once, and it was because I had a hideous commute to work in the mornings. I figured I could get some fiction on cd to distract me from the choking fumes of neverending applications of foot to clutch every ten seconds for an hour. Anyway it didn’t work for me, and I never realised why till I read this: so true, a strange narrator is yet one more remove from the natural reading experience.
Having said that, I have a Kindle, after being a die-hard paperback lover for decades, and I really prefer it. Even to my iPad, which is too hard on the eyes.
Thanks for the reply, C&S–we’ll do whatever we can to protect readers from the scourge of audiobooks!
I know some people who would let a stranger unzip their fly. I guess you wouldn’t really want them around kids either…or adults for that matter. Unless you are the unzipper person of course.
While our proclivities do lie in that direction, years of therapy have helped us get to the point where we can mock others for it.
Here, here to that.
I wonder if you are confusing bladder cancer with the incontinence of the degenerates who record audiobooks.
Not that I disagree with your thesis. Just wondering is all…
Fortunately, the sounds of their extreme incontinence can be edited out with modern software programs.