Tags
Anaheim Angels, Baseball, childish sexual innuendo, confused identity, Los Angeles Dodgers, Mike Scioscia is an apostate!, poseurs, Rally Monkey, San Diego Padres, Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding, Southern California
By Smaktakula
You Will Find This Nowhere In LA.
Here’s Why:
1) Superfluous. The LA-OC Metro Area is also the home the more historic and culturally significant Los Angeles Dodgers (of Los Angeles), and the Southern California area already includes the Padres, San Diego’s semi-pro ball club.
There Can Be Only One.
2) Dishonest. Claim Los Angeles as home base, but play in Anaheim, over 30 miles away. Moreover, the team has claimed no fewer than four home locations in its half-century of iniquity: Los Angeles (legitimately), California, Anaheim and now the ridiculous LA-Anaheim hybrid. What are they hiding? What don’t they want you to know?
To Be Fair, For Five Of The Team’s Fifty-Plus Years, The Los Angeles Claim Wasn’t A Filthy Lie.
3) Homophobic. Although no evidence whatsoever exists to support this rather irresponsible claim, it should be noted that “angels” are frequently associated with Christianity, which itself is practically synonymous with homophobia.
In Private Conversation, Some People Refer To Them As The “GAYngels.” Not Us, Though. That Kind Of Childishness Really Isn’t Our Style.
4) Cruel. Many years ago, Mike Scioscia did us wrong.¹
Yeah, That’s A Funny Trick To Play On A Ten-Year-Old Who Only Wanted An Autograph. We’re Glad You Got Fat, Fucker.
5) The Rally Monkey. The fucking Rally Monkey.
This Hideous Creature Is Quite Simply An Affront To All Which Is Decent And Good.
Promethean Times 
I’ll have to take PT’s word for it, given I’m clueless when it comes to baseball. You could tell me that Capuchin monkey is the best player in the league, and I’d probably believe you. He can probably spit the farthest, too.
Well, knowing how you feel about baseball, it’s very nice that you read anyway. Thanks, Carrie!
He can probably spit the farthest, too.
You clearly don’t understand the competition that monkey is up against.
Although I respect some of their players, I’ve never been able to take seriously a team that chose, from all possible names, to call themselves the Angels. Why would you do that?
You got me–I get that it’s taken from “the City of the Angels” but it’s not a very good ballclub name, I think. I think it’s cool when a team’s name well-represents its city or region, but it also has to be a good name. For this reason, I’m not crazy about “Padres” either. Obviously, to rationalize my naming beliefs I’ve had to “grandfather in” the classic team names (Trolley-Dodgers?; sock swatches? generic terms for ‘sports’) except perhaps for the Yankees.
I could get behind Devil Rays, but not Rays–they’ve left it ambiguous as to whether it’s one of the deadly, Crocodile-Hunter-killin’ (too soon?) rays. Although I dislike many things from Texas including all of their sports teams, I can’t help but admire the awesomeness of the name “Texas Rangers.” It really says “Irritating Texas Swagger,” but in a good way, insofar as such a thing is possible.
To my thinking, however, the very best team name is the Diamondbacks. You’ve got your tough, venomous native creature, but also a clever play on the baseball diamond. I mean, the D-Backs can go have relations with themselves, but they have an awesome name.
Nicely done, my man.
They have been here longer than the Dodgers. They were originally part of the Pacific Coast League, when they played in Los Angeles. They were called the Angels, being short for Los Angeles. This was long before MLB came this far west. Try researching some history.
However, I still wish they were simply called the California Angels. I don’t like them being called the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
You have exposed my ignorance, Andy! Not once, but TWICE. You see, I was operating under the belief that the Los Angeles Angles of the PCL were a minor-league ball club which left LA a few years before the Angels came to town, which would make it a completely different team, and anyone who thought otherwise sort of a dolt.
But since you’ve clearly “researched some history” I’ll defer to you. As always, we appreciate your great big brain.
Ummm, yeah…. right…. Duh, sorry… thought I was on the cooking channel… 😉
Well, I appreciate you stumbling by. I couldn’t cook my way out of a paper bag. I know, because I’ve tried, and it results in a pretty spectacular fire.
And you might not be aware that several of you people (and here I mean Australians; I use it in fun–here in the US the term ‘you people’ has become a stink-word, which is what makes it so much fun to use ) play in the Major Leagues. See how I made it inclusive?
Kidding aside, Carolyn–Thanks for stopping by!
Yeah, right; just try to keep us away; I mean down; I mean out of the ballgame; you get my drift!
Glad to stop by; I may not always appreciate your cultural euphemisms, but heck; it’s still a good read…!
I get where the name “Angels” comes from. I just think it’s a pretty wimpy fucking name.
Agreed. Throw in Blue Jays while you’re at it. In reality, I think they’re nasty, scrappy birds, but they just don’t have the popular “killer” image. Same with the Padres. Now, while it’s true that Spanish Missionaries were largely successful in destroying or decimating a variety of indigenous cultures, it just doesn’t have a lot of pop.
I have always thought the Mariners a damn fine name. Obviously, it fits well with Seattle’s longstanding maritime tradition. Moreover, it not only manages to be convincingly tough, but also becomes the first truly modern name in that it is inclusive. After all, the first thing that comes to mind when thinking of a sea-farin’ man is ‘Tough.’ But ‘Gay’ (or at the very least ‘Bi-Curious’) is a very close second.
And thanks, as always, for the comment, Bill!
I agree with what you say (that’s a first). How they got away with all their name changing nonsense eludes me too. But have you seen Mike Trout?
Trout is amazing. Can’t figure out yet if he’s the next Mickey Mantle, or “merely” the next Stan Musial. Just sorry he’s an “Angel.” Wish he was a Met (admittedly, also a name lacking in gravitas, though I remain a fan.)
Agree. The comparison to Mickey Mantle seemed sacreligious at first, but Trout may even be better. Stan the Man – now that’s sacreligious.
I have (on TV; not live, sadly), and he’s pretty exciting. I have to hand it to the Angels; early in the season I was dancing a jig–Pujols wasn’t hitting, they were losing games–I caught myself envisioning the end of what’s been a run of many years. But no, the resilient Angels get back in the thick of it.
I still have memories of their ’95 collapse to keep me warm.
I agree with what you say (that’s a first).
Well, they say even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Only–I’M THE STOPPED CLOCK! Zing!
Aw, I fucked that up again.
Yeah, and I think Albert is starting to hit the ball.
That had not escaped my attention.
It still feels weird to me to see Scioscia in an Angels uniform even after all these years. He looks better in Dodger blue than Angels red. I don’t like the Angels because 1) they can’t figure out where they’re from–California? Anaheim? Los Angeles? Oh, we don’t know! 2) those fucking rally monkeys—real fans don’t need props, yo; 3) they own the Yankees, and that’s just not acceptable.
But I too noticed that Pujols finally woke up. Atta boy, Alfred, it only took you half the season to warm up!
I meant Albert, not Alfred. What is my problem?
I remember when the name changed originally to this – LOS ANGELES ANGELS AT ANAHEIM. It was the stupidest thing any of us ever heard. So now, they are, well, who the hell knows. Maybe it was a dig against Hispanics, who’s population in LA far outnumbers any white folks in Anaheim.
P.S. Los Angeles has the greatest population of Hispanics, second only to Mexico City.
Nope, I’m not a bigot. I married a Mexican American – ONCE. 😀
Knowing nothing about baseball, and caring even less, I still intended to comment. As a rule, I rarely let anything as silly as lack of knowledge intimidate me into silence. However, since Smak has decided to disrespect the great state of Texas in the comments section I can not comment…. no, really, I wont. Seriously. I mean it….
Thanks, Alex–I knew I was asking for trouble when I made that comment. Now, I dislike MOST things from Texas, but you are most certainly an exception.
Exception noted 😉
I don’t know anything about sports, but that monkey is cute.
Don’t be fooled by his charm, Brigitte–that monkey hates America and all that it stands for!
But I’m delighted as always that you stopped by!
Scioscia should have stuck with working at the Springfield Power Plant. He really seemed to enjoy it there.
Did they ever find Ozzie Smith?
Never mind that! Have you seen what’s happened to Griffey’s head?
My friend was telling me on the episode commentary Canseco was pissed at the writers for not making him look better. That’s why they made him into some super do-gooder.
Personally I think the Angels ruined it by making Tony Danza their star pitcher during the 1995 season. How many more fucking TV shows/movies can I make reference to involving this team? Christ.
Christ.
Well, obviously that works!
Thanks for the awesome Simpsons story. I’d never heard that, but it has the ring of gospel truth.
I live not too far away from that neighbourhood and I like to visit the equally daft named Anaheim Ducks, which are based across the road. Sadly Baseball is about 4 hours and 50 minutes too long for me to be interested in. However the Angels (yes I agree, awful name), are my “local” team and I know plenty of fans. As they have yet to be caught abusing children or anything of that ilk all I can say is, in the spirit of abusing your nearby sporting rivals, and also in the spirit of someone who might post in the name of anonymous, ” **** you ****** ******* dodger fans “. – I almost typed “doger” fans which might have been a better insult.
Um, nothing else for me to add here. No, actually I have thought of a point 4 in your favour: I had some revolting nachos and cheese sauce there once. The cheese sauce was like bad custard. I was still hungry after the game.
The cheese sauce was like bad custard.
Great analogy. Yeah, that’s “pump cheese.” It’s a cheese-flavored snack!
And you needn’t hide your hurtful anti-Dodger bigotry behind asterisks (although it was very polite of you to do so!). As you know, I curse like a motherfucker.
You’re an idiot. This is one of the most far-fetched, sorry excuse posts I have ever seen.
1) The Padres don’t count. They aren’t any better than a Triple A minor league team. Besides, the Angels were in California long before the Brooklyn Dodgers came to town. If anyone packs their bags, it’s the dodgers.
2)they’re called the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim because the bame iincorporates a larger area and gives fans the ability to associate with the team. It worked. 44,000+ attend every game. Secondly, Los Angels needed a good team. Not that crap the Dodgers play.
3) This just proves how stupid you are.
4) Bullshit. Bloody Hypocrite. If anyone is cruel, it’s the Dodger fans.
5) you’re just jealous you didn’t think of the Rally Monkey first. Go back to your stinky (literally) Dodger stadium.
Don’t know too much about baseball…the monkey looked pretty evil to me…
Chica Blanca (or as my spell-check made me call you on Alex Autin’s site, ‘Chicago Blanca’), if you know only one thing about baseball THAT’s the thing to know!
yes, yes….I saw that…..(and I lmao)
I can’t believe you called the Padres a semi-pro team. Do you really think they are that good?……….lol
It’s pity mostly. They’ve got pluck! It’s hard to really dislike the Padres.
Pluck doesn’t win baseball games, and I’m not even sure they have pluck!……..lol