Tags
American Idol, Andrew "Dice" Clay, country music, cultural wasteland, Faith Hill, Fugees, Lauryn Hill, low culture, Max Headroom, Pauly Shore, pop culture, Shania Twain, Tardsie's True-Ass Tales, Tim McGraw, Tug McGraw, Why am I so not with it?, zeitgeist
By Tardsie
Apparently This Space-Waster Is A Recent American Idol Winner. We’re None The Richer For The Knowledge.
The following recent conversation between my wife and I should illustrate the vast and yawning gulf that separates my psyche from the popular culture. I had just learned that an acquaintance of my in-laws had worked closely in some capacity with entertainer Shania Twain.
When You Find Yourself Nostalgic For The Days Of Pauly Shore, Andrew “Dice” Clay And Max Headroom, You Know The Culture’s In A Sad State.
Tardsie: Shania Twain. Is she the chick from American Idol?
Mrs. Tardsie: I don’t know, but that doesn’t sound right.
Tardsie: Then is she the one married to that country music guy? You know, the pitcher’s son, whatsizname–Tim McGraw?
Mrs. Tardsie: I don’t know…(Stabs at her iPhone for a few moments)…No, it says he’s married to Faith Hill.
Tardsie: Isn’t that the chick from the Fugees?
And It’s Not Such A Stretch Either That One Of These Guys Could Be Named “Shania.”
Promethean Times 
I have little clue who most of these people are, too, but unfortunately, I did recognize Honey Boo Boo — not because I ever wasted a second of my life watching that series, so I was spared the need to bleach my brain, but some of my friends drank the Kool-aid, tuned in and blogged about her. The decline in Western civilization is happening at warp speed.
The decline in Western civilization is happening at warp speed.
That’s true. And you know, in that context, Honey Boo Boo may be of more historical significance than a president. Clinton, Bush and Obama may just be names that future school children must memorize for tests, but when studying our precipitous fall, they may have an entire chapter on “The Decline and Fall of the West: The Age of Honey Boo Boo Child.”
Thanks for commenting. When are we going to see more LA? Given that you live in New York, I’m guessing that you’ve recently had an adventure that was exceedingly lame.
I have had my share of Lame Adventures while on hiatus, but when Hurricane Sandy exacted her wrath, Manhattan’s Upper West Side, where I reside, escaped remarkably unscathed. What I suffered most was some survivor’s guilt, but my buddy, Milton, who lives on the Upper East Side and also got off easy, reasoned that we’ll pay our dues whenever the tsunami takes Manhattan. During this ongoing hiatus, I have been working on my Manhattan Project which is taking much longer to complete than anticipated. Before the month is out, I may publish a new post, or I may hold off until after the New Year. I will return but this project, which is proving to be my lamest adventure ever, has been a monumental time sponge. All will eventually be revealed on Lame Adventures when the time is right.
You know, I never miss American Idol. I don’t watch it and I don’t miss it.
Your philosophy is very similar to my own, Sir!
I’m going to have to bleach my eyeballs now to remove the image of that little crackerette. I’m pretty clueless about the names of the latest flavors of the month, especially since most of them aren’t famous for anything except being on reality shows. And the only reason I remember Tim McGraw at all is because of his dad. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have any clue of his existence.
Noooo — hahahaha!
Well, I happen to like Shania Twain — yeah I said it!
I deeply respect a person who stands up for his or her enthusiasms. I just don’t know who she is! (In fairness, after writing this piece, I do in fact know who she is, just not that much about her).
Am I the only one who had to look up the definition for Zeitgeist?
That’s so cool. Well then I have at last paid my debt for edentulous.
You may be the only person who BOTHERED to look it up. It amazes me how often people are satisfied not knowing the definition of a word. I check the dictionary a couple times a day usually for something or other.
I don’t like not knowing things, this is true.
And thanks to the Baader-Meinhof effect, you’ll be hearing Zeitgeist everywhere.
I have definitely experienced this. I just didn’t know there was a term for it. Now you’re in the lead vocabulary-wise. Damn it.
I don’t like not knowing things
Ha! I don’t think I’ve ever phrased it so succinctly (or so well), but that’s my problem, too!
Is a good problem to have. Wish more people had it.
And Zeitgeist and Baader-Meinhof are both gifts from the Krauts.
See? Germany’s given the world a lot more than just two World Wars and genetically-superior progeny.
Ja!
no
Phew!
Well, I’m usually the same, it took me some time to put name and face together for Bruce Willis and the other crazy guy, Mel Gibson.
How I differentiate the two: The one with good hair is Australian and holds somewhat strident beliefs on Zionism that he’s happy to share, and the other was in Die Hard.
And will be again – Die Hard 5: A Good Day to Die Hard
I did not know who that big faced child was, and I did not know that Tim McGraw was Tug’s son. I’ll stick to baseball and burying my head in the sand thank you very much.
I had to look up edentulous and zeitegeist. Can you tone the vocabulary lesson down to one word next time?
I promise nothing!
my brain thanks you for making me smarter
I can relate.
Whenever I hear mention of American Idol, I hear Dylan in my head: “Idiot Wind, blowing like a circle around my skull/From the Grand Coulee Dam to the Capitol.”
I knew who all those people were (heard of the Fugees, but not familiar with their music) Who is Max Headroom? Gotcha – just joking, I remember him, too. (I also looked up Zeitgeist….you people and your fancy words…sheesh) Honey Boo Boo, just makes me cringe every time I see her face! (all the little girls at work LOVE her….yuck.yuck.)
all the little girls at work LOVE her
That makes me sad. I always wonder just how that can be. It’s like people who look up to Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan.
This completely reconfirms the joy I feel in not owning a TV…this IS about TV culture related stuff, yes? Btw, I don’t even want to know what a Honey Boo Boo is.
A Honey Boo Boo is just a fancy way of saying bee sting.
That. Is. Awesome.
Thank. You.
I can relate.
Whenever anyone mentions American Idol, the following Dylan lyrics come to mind: “Idiot Wind, blowing like a circle around my skull/From the Grand Coulee Dam to the Capitol.”
Ha! I’d be flabbergasted if an American Idol contestant could find the Grand Coulee on a map. Or DC for that matter.
DC? The comics?
I am pleased to say I didn’t know who most of these people were. And I’ll promptly forget about them when I finish this comment. Alas, the Roman circus is alive and well.
Matt Frewer, the actor who played Max Headroom, is nearly 54-years old. Now, don’t you feel old? I know I do.
In her defense, Shania Twain had success based on her talent, as opposed to being the train wreck du jour.