In which we remark upon the headlines of articles we haven’t bothered to read, and pontificate upon a pontiff we know nothing about.¹
Pope Francis starts first full day as pontiff with prayer ~ He’s the fucking pope–he’s pretty much obligated to start EVERY day off like that.
US Catholics want a younger, more liberal pope ~ Yeah, we’ll bet they do.
Survey: Africans ready for African Pope ~ Yeah, we’ll bet they are.
It’s Time for a Queer-Friendly Pope ~ Yeah, we’ll bet…oh, we get it now–you’re fucking with us. Good one! Our money’s on the African pope anyway.
Pope’s Culture Club Masks Conclave Packed With Benedict’s Clones ~ Does this seem to you like a bunch of random words just sorta tossed together?
Which Catholic Church? ~ Ideally, the one that doesn’t bugger little boys.
Is the Catholic Church’s Future in Africa? ~ Unlikely. Africans aren’t any fonder of pederasty than anyone else.
What Lies Ahead for Pope Benedict Post-Abdication ~ Pussy. Fathomless oceans of pussy stretching to the hither and yon, as far as the eye can see.