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Tag Archives: sweater kittens

Nancy Grace’s Exposed Nipple Continues To Horrify

08 Tuesday Nov 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, News

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Benny Hill, boobs, breasts, breastuses, Fall of Troy, FCC, honkers, knockers, Nancy Grace, nipple slip, overreaction, psychic trauma, sweater bunnies, sweater kittens, tits, Troy, you'd hit it if you were drunk enough

By Smaktakula

Would You Have Dreamed That A Squirrely Casaba Could Cause So Much Heartbreak?

The psychic trauma resulting from Nancy Grace’s Dancing With The Stars nipple-slip continues to reverberate across the globe.  Grace’s errant ‘Horreola’ has instigated even more collateral damage than previously believed.

As evidence, we point to the dozen or so viewers who have recently written to the FCC complaining about Grace’s slightly exposed knocker.  Among the audience’s grievances were an anger that the dimwitted news personality “displayed her pornographic breast and nipple on national television,” and that the gruesome display  “scared my children.”

The Boob Won't Put Your Eye Out. You'll Do That Yourself.

Promethean Times holds the female breast in the highest regard.  Breasts feed our children, fill out sweaters and parade with surprising frequency through the sweaty imaginations of men, giving America’s male portion of the workforce a regular distraction from the soul-crushing drudgery of work.  Breasts have brought about the Fall of Troy, maintained the popularity of the guitar and made Benny Hill watchable.  They are a force of nearly mystic import, with powers both beneficent and malign.  Nancy Grace appears to have used her breasticular powers for evil, and a scarred public is still paying the price.

Too Little, Too Late.

Don’t You ♥ Boobies?

15 Thursday Sep 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

big ol brestesus, boobies, boobs, breast cancer, breasts, death by breast cancer, dirty pillows, headlights, jugs, knockers, magnificent rack, mammary glands, my humps my humps my lovely lady lumps, sweater bunnies, sweater kittens, ta-tas, tits, titties

By Smaktakula

Who Doesn't, Right?

The Keep A Breast Foundation has an inarguably honorable mission: “{T}o increase breast cancer awareness among young people so they are better equipped to make choices and develop habits that will benefit their long-term health and well-being.”  Only the most twisted and misanthropic individual could believe that educating the public about breast cancer  was a bad thing; as goes the old cliché, “If even one life is saved . . .”

We're Pretty Sure You Knew This Wasn't What We Meant By "Sweater Kittens," But It Does Help To Explain The Rabbit In The Cardigan.

Although theirs is a laudable goal, the KABF does their movement a marked disservice by employing inappropriate terms in their most prominent campaign: I ♥ Boobies.  We are confounded as to why the Foundation would attach a juvenile term like “Boobies” to such a serious issue, as it only detracts from KABF’s very important message.  With a plethora of synonyms for “breasts” from which to choose, this worthwhile organization has sadly opted to tread a sophomoric path by using juvenile  language which might be considered appropriate in a junior high locker room.  Perhaps we will have to mature as a culture before a more appropriate term is widely used.  But for crying out loud, people–they’re called tits!

What, Are You Still In The Seventh Grade?

Face!  You are so faced.  We got you good. ∞T.

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