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By Smaktakula

Would You Have Dreamed That A Squirrely Casaba Could Cause So Much Heartbreak?

The psychic trauma resulting from Nancy Grace’s Dancing With The Stars nipple-slip continues to reverberate across the globe.  Grace’s errant ‘Horreola’ has instigated even more collateral damage than previously believed.

As evidence, we point to the dozen or so viewers who have recently written to the FCC complaining about Grace’s slightly exposed knocker.  Among the audience’s grievances were an anger that the dimwitted news personality “displayed her pornographic breast and nipple on national television,” and that the gruesome display  “scared my children.”

The Boob Won't Put Your Eye Out. You'll Do That Yourself.

Promethean Times holds the female breast in the highest regard.  Breasts feed our children, fill out sweaters and parade with surprising frequency through the sweaty imaginations of men, giving America’s male portion of the workforce a regular distraction from the soul-crushing drudgery of work.  Breasts have brought about the Fall of Troy, maintained the popularity of the guitar and made Benny Hill watchable.  They are a force of nearly mystic import, with powers both beneficent and malign.  Nancy Grace appears to have used her breasticular powers for evil, and a scarred public is still paying the price.

Too Little, Too Late.