By Smaktakula

Not THAT Kind Of Squint! This Lovable Scamp Is Welcome At Our Birthday Party. We'll Be Putting Away The Breakables.

A recent British study revealed an heretofore undiscovered class of persecuted citizen: the squinty-eyed.  Although the term “squint” has gained popularity in the United Kingdom, it refers to the condition known as strabismus, where one of the eyes points a different direction when the other is looking forward.  Called “Creep Eye” or “Goofy Eye” in the United States, squint is evinced in about 1 in 20 children.

Kid, Don't You Know That Your Eye Will Stay That Way If You . . .What? . . . Oh My God, We're So, So Sorry. You're Beautiful Just The Way God Made You.

A British study of children ages 3-12 determined that if given a choice between inviting one of these bipedal Boston terriers to their birthday party or instead inviting a Normal, children overwhelmingly chose to exclude the child with squints.  Scientists are not surprised.

Thanks To Growing Societal Acceptance, Squinty Models Can Now Get Work.

Neither is this US mother, ‘Deborah,’ who asked that her real name not be used.

I don’t have anything against those unfortunate children.  I had a cousin who was . . . like that.  Well, maybe she still is–we haven’t spoken in years.  And it’s not that I don’t think they should go to birthday parties, because I think all children should experience at least one birthday party in their lives.

Would she invite a squinter to her child’s birthday party?

Look, I’m not a bad person, okay?  But on {Jonathan’s} special day–I just can’t bear the thought of him trying to eat his cake, while across the table is one of those . . . those children.  As if it’s all perfectly normal.

Well, it’s not normal!  It’s not!

Fortunately ‘Deborah’s’ attitudes do not represent the larger facet of modern society.  As the world becomes more aware of the walleyed, it will embrace them into the warm and welcoming bosom of humanity.

Dude, You Should Totally Invite Him. Always Eager To Please, Squinty Kids Bring The Coolest Presents.

Just as long as they don’t watch us while we’re eating.  That’s really creepy.