• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Tag Archives: Witness Relocation Program

‘Lil Kim Adjusting To New Life In Witness Relocation Program

19 Monday Dec 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

'Lil 'Lil Kim, 'Lil Kim, California, comical despots, Compton, Ding Dong the Dick is Dead!, Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un, liquor stores, Muammar al-Gaddafi, North Korea, Saddam Hussein, So Ronery, South Korea, Witness Relocation Program

By Smaktakula

"Hey! This Not A Rending Ribrary! You Buy Or You Get The Herr Out!"

Kim Jong-il, the once-feared despot of blighted hellhole North Korea, is said to be transitioning easily into his new life as a Compton, California liquor store owner.  Although the blue-collar life might seem like a comedown from the palatial existence previously enjoyed by the tiny madman, ‘Lil Kim claims to be very happy.

Kim's Youngest Son Is Sorry To See The Old Man Go.

“Rife is so much easier now.  I got none of the probrems of running rearry big and important country,” says the diminutive ex-despot, referring to the asswipe country he inherited from his own father and ran further into the ground.  He has high hopes for the prospects of his youngest son, Kim Jong-un, who has taken over the reins of state in his stead.  “My boy, ‘Ril ‘Ril Kim, gonna fuck South Korea up good!”

'Lil Kim Has Been Welcomed To The Neighborhood By Such Businessmen As Terry Davis, Owner Of Sandbox Liquor.

Although ‘Lil Kim isn’t at liberty to discuss the matter, it is believed he is joined in his exile by several other former world leaders.  “Yeah, I see some famiriar faces–let’s put it that way.  At reast I’m not . . . so ronery any more.”

"You Better Not Be Selling Any Goddamn Falafels! I Make The Mother Of All Falafels!"

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • People Actually Believe That? Ramtha And The Lizard-Beasts Of Mt. Rainier
  • The Red Danube
  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • Mark Wahlberg Is Nothing Without The Funky Bunch. Nothing!
  • Mullets Are Slightly Less Heinous Than Fauxhawks

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

  • Teachable Moments prometheantimes.com/2015/10/15/tea… http://t.co/QFzhCOBHaO 6 years ago
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight prometheantimes.com/2015/10/01/the… http://t.co/lY6IVUWzYV 6 years ago
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ prometheantimes.com/2015/09/23/my-… http://t.co/izgO4yJppn 6 years ago
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/08/17/she… http://t.co/0svsAHygLs 6 years ago
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/07/31/wel… http://t.co/tvFvovXjTX 6 years ago
Follow @prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

July 2022
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Oct    

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim on People Actually Believe That?…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
tomsimard on Sadly, Anne Heche Still L…
Smaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Anonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…

Tardsie D. Bagg

Smaktakula

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 509 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar