Tags
booze, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, debauchery, douchebaggery, drugs, hookers, misplaced artistic integrity, rehab, Richard Simmons, Sheen leaving, spousal abuse, three-time loser, Two and a Half Men, untalented stars
Why else would this three-time loser kill the cash cow by leaving his awful show?
Good Luck, Chuck!
Industry insiders speculate that the volatile hack may have contracted a case of misplaced artistic integrity (MAI) during his most recent rehab stint. Delusions are a common symptom of the MAI infection, which could lead Sheen to forget that his artistic range is roughly analagous to the distance Richard Simmons can throw a baseball.
Ball Four.
But unlike many of Sheen’s previous infections, this one won’t be fixed by a quick visit to a discreet Mexican doctor. Charlie should know by now that performing in a cultural Mariana Trench like Two and a Half Men is a lot like being a professional manure wrestler. You can leave the ring–but the shit still sticks to you.
Think Charlie’s Best Moments Of Douchebag Idiocy Are Behind Him? The Kid’s Still Got It: Charlie Sheen wants out of ‘Two and A Half Men’: Report | EW.com.
Promethean Times 
You’re Richard Simmons’s dolphin shorts.
Don’t I wish.