Bert, Bert & Ernie, Bert is the man, celebrity breakups, Celebrity Death Watch, celebrity deaths, domestic violence, Ernie, firearm-related homicides, good manners, muppet-on-muppet violence, murder, proper behavior, Sesame Street, spousal abuse, the love which dare not speak its name
Even love has its limits. How much longer can Bert endure Ernie’s unending cavalcade of tedious bullshit?
"Did I do that?", anger management, breast implants, Bridget Hardy, broken toilets, Charlie Sheen, domestic violence, dorks, douchebaggery, Family Matters, former child stars, geeks, has-been, infidelity, Jaleel White, Jerkel, nerds, spazzes, spousal abuse, Trivial Pursuit, untalented stars, Urkel, weirdos, Where Are They Now?
In a classy move right out of the Sheen Playbook, Trivial Pursuit answer Jaleel ‘Urkel’ White is accused of beating the mother of his child. Bridget Hardy, white’s ex-girlfriend, alleges that the former child star punched her in one of her breast implants and later shoved her into a toilet hard enough to break it, as well as engaging in other violent and threatening activities.
Abusive inebriate John Wayne Bobbitt was such a cock-knocker that in 1993 his wife Lorena severed half his penis, hurling the bloody nugget into a field.
The missing member was recovered after an exhaustive search, and the cock (by which we mean the ironically-named Bobbitt) made whole.
Sadly, the couple divorced in 1995.
booze, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, debauchery, douchebaggery, drugs, hookers, misplaced artistic integrity, rehab, Richard Simmons, Sheen leaving, spousal abuse, three-time loser, Two and a Half Men, untalented stars
Why else would this three-time loser kill the cash cow by leaving his awful show?
Industry insiders speculate that the volatile hack may have contracted a case of misplaced artistic integrity (MAI) during his most recent rehab stint. Delusions are a common symptom of the MAI infection, which could lead Sheen to forget that his artistic range is roughly analagous to the distance Richard Simmons can throw a baseball.
But unlike many of Sheen’s previous infections, this one won’t be fixed by a quick visit to a discreet Mexican doctor. Charlie should know by now that performing in a cultural Mariana Trench like Two and a Half Men is a lot like being a professional manure wrestler. You can leave the ring–but the shit still sticks to you.
Think Charlie’s Best Moments Of Douchebag Idiocy Are Behind Him? The Kid’s Still Got It: Charlie Sheen wants out of ‘Two and A Half Men’: Report | EW.com.