• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Tag Archives: spousal abuse

Wonder Woman: Heart Of Steel

14 Friday Jan 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

bad boys, Batman, battered women, comic books, domestic abuse, love, romance, spousal abuse, Superman, Superman is a dick, unlucky in love, Wonder Woman

By Smaktakula

Things Worth Hoping For: Bert and Ernie

26 Thursday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Critters, Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, Humor, People, Relationships, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Bert, Bert & Ernie, Bert is the man, celebrity breakups, Celebrity Death Watch, celebrity deaths, domestic violence, Ernie, firearm-related homicides, good manners, muppet-on-muppet violence, murder, proper behavior, Sesame Street, spousal abuse, the love which dare not speak its name

By Smaktakula

Even love has its limits.  How much longer can Bert endure Ernie’s unending cavalcade of tedious bullshit?   

Because Playing The Drums At 2 AM When Your Lover Is Trying To Sleep Is Very Rude, Ernie. Very, Very Rude.

Did I Do That?: When Urkels Attack

23 Monday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Crime, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

"Did I do that?", anger management, breast implants, Bridget Hardy, broken toilets, Charlie Sheen, domestic violence, dorks, douchebaggery, Family Matters, former child stars, geeks, has-been, infidelity, Jaleel White, Jerkel, nerds, spazzes, spousal abuse, Trivial Pursuit, untalented stars, Urkel, weirdos, Where Are They Now?

By Smaktakula

In a classy move right out of the Sheen Playbook, Trivial Pursuit answer Jaleel ‘Urkel’ White is accused of beating the mother of his child.  Bridget Hardy, white’s ex-girlfriend, alleges that the former child star punched her in one of her breast implants and later shoved her into a toilet hard enough to break it, as well as engaging in other violent and threatening activities.

Jerkel: The Has-Been Became Enraged And Accused Hardy Of Infidelity When It Was Revealed That Her Child Was Good Looking And Not At All Socially Awkward.

Tell Facebook What This Also-Ran Has Been Up To

Happy Thoughts For Friday: Be Glad You’re Not This Guy

16 Friday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, General Foolishness, Health, History, Justice, National Events, People, Relationships, Scandal

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

abusive asshole, alcohol abuse, asshat, divorce, domestic violence, famous for nothing, happy thoughts, irony, John Wayne Bobbitt, Lorena Gallo Bobbitt, severed penis, spousal abuse

By Smaktakula

Abusive inebriate John Wayne Bobbitt was such a cock-knocker that in 1993 his wife Lorena severed half his penis, hurling the bloody nugget into a field.  

The missing member was recovered after an exhaustive search, and the cock (by which we mean the ironically-named Bobbitt) made whole.          

Sadly, the couple divorced in 1995.         

Not Only Did JWB Lose Sensation In His Penis, But Also Any Notion Of Dignity.

Charlie Sheen Believes Hookers And Booze Fall Magically From The Sky

02 Friday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Drugs, General Foolishness, Hollywood, People, Television

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

booze, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, debauchery, douchebaggery, drugs, hookers, misplaced artistic integrity, rehab, Richard Simmons, Sheen leaving, spousal abuse, three-time loser, Two and a Half Men, untalented stars

Why else would this three-time loser kill the cash cow by leaving his awful show?              

Good Luck, Chuck!

Industry insiders speculate that the volatile hack may have contracted a case of misplaced artistic integrity (MAI) during his most recent rehab stint.  Delusions are a common symptom of the MAI infection, which could lead Sheen to forget that his artistic range is roughly analagous to the distance Richard Simmons can throw a baseball.               

Ball Four.

 But unlike many of Sheen’s previous infections, this one won’t be fixed by a quick visit to a discreet Mexican doctor.  Charlie should know by now that performing in a cultural Mariana Trench like Two and a Half Men is a lot like being a professional manure wrestler.  You can leave the ring–but the shit still sticks to you.             

Think Charlie’s Best Moments Of Douchebag Idiocy Are Behind Him?  The Kid’s Still Got It: Charlie Sheen wants out of ‘Two and A Half Men’: Report | EW.com.           

Smaktakula

Share With Facebook

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • People Actually Believe That? Ramtha And The Lizard-Beasts Of Mt. Rainier
  • The Pros And Cons Of Your Girlfriend's Gay Friend
  • Snowboarder's Empire Could Go Up In Smoke
  • Incest: On The Other Hand...
  • This Day In Alternate History: Yoko Ono Slain
  • The Silent Reckoning
  • Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong Champion Of Tolerance

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

  • Teachable Moments prometheantimes.com/2015/10/15/tea… http://t.co/QFzhCOBHaO 7 years ago
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight prometheantimes.com/2015/10/01/the… http://t.co/lY6IVUWzYV 7 years ago
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ prometheantimes.com/2015/09/23/my-… http://t.co/izgO4yJppn 7 years ago
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/08/17/she… http://t.co/0svsAHygLs 7 years ago
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/07/31/wel… http://t.co/tvFvovXjTX 7 years ago
Follow @prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

February 2023
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728  
« Oct    

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim on People Actually Believe That?…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
tomsimard on Sadly, Anne Heche Still L…
Smaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Anonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…

Tardsie D. Bagg

Smaktakula

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 459 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...