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By Smaktakula

"Hey Jimmy. You 'Member That Time You Were Attacked By A Rabbit?"

"Hoo-eey! That Was Some Funny Business, Let Me Tell You. That Mean Ol' Rabbit Justa Comin' After You . . ."

"That's Not How It Happened!"

"sniff"

"That's Not . . . Look--I Wasn't 'Attacked,' Okay? Forget What You've Heard, 'Cause The Only Thing True About That Story Is The Rabbit!"

"Go Easy, Old-Timer. I Believe You."

"It's Just Not Fair, Bill. All The Stuff That People Think They Remember About Me Is Mostly Lies Bundled In With Half-Truths. Nobody Remembers The Good Things I've Done."

"Jimmy, That's Just Not True. Everybody Knows About Your Work With Habitat For--"-

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT BUILDING GODDAMN HOUSES HERE, BILL!"

Bill Clinton Pictures

"I'm Sorry, Bill. That Was Uncalled For, And I Do Apologize."

"I Just Get So Mad When The Right Distorts My Record, And The Press Doesn't Bother To Call Them On It."

"'Jimmy Carter Didn't Do Enough To Get The Hostages Home From Iran. Jimmy Carter Gave Away The Panama Canal. Jimmy Carter Pardoned The Draft-Dodgers.'"

"But Look At All The Good We Were Able To Do. What About Peacemaking? The Peace Between Israel And Egypt Has Lasted A Heckuva Lot Longer Than Anyone Thought."

"Bill, Did You Hear What I Said?"

"Hmm? Oh, No Jimmy, I Didn't. Sorry. I Was Just Thinkin' About Somethin', Though--You 'Member That Time You Gave Away The Panama Canal?"

The ‘Rabbit Attack’ mentioned here is an actual historical nonevent. ∞ Oxymoronically Yours, T.
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